How to report my boss

[Angela.RN2B]

I have for sometime been harrassed at work, I have been a Student Nurse tech for a year. and I have been just letting it slide. The other day the nurse I was teching fr made a family angry. She got into a confratation with the family members and storms out of the patients room. I am prepping the patient to leave and she said here finish up. The family says to me don't touch the patient get the Manager or who ever her boss is. well I do I go out to the boss and I tell her what has happen and says the family wants to see you immediatly they will not allow me to take vitals on the patient until they speak with you. She says to me well tell the family I will finish up what Im doing and I will be down to talk to them once the patient is discharged. I felt completly blew off. very alone wondering ok. How am I suppose to handle it? I return tell the family what she said and they blew up not really at me but at how abusive the nurse was and that the manager was just acting like it was not a big deal. I have also had Nurse who have jerked items out of my hands, yell at me like Im a dog to do something that they could have handled. I tell this Manager and she acts like Im lying is always making me feel like I am blowing things out of porportion. I have to sit in a break room with co-workers who will not even say jello to me have a conversation with everyone but me and also ignore me when I ask for assistance. I was told by someone who used to work on the same unit that she was treated the same, we are both minorities and she feels like maybe there is some racism going on. I just want to leave this unit if possible but I want to make sure I address the issues with this manager I think she should be more professional and i am sick and tired of her making me look like a fool in front of patients. Blaming things on me that nurses do. She always has their backs and acts as if what I say or do does not matter. She is constantly calling out my faults and she discusses my weaknesses with other employees. I have had them come up to me and say she is really upset with how you do such and such, and they are always checking up on me telling me I need to hurry up they are Techs too they have been here longer, sure but I don't appreciate her tealling them I have difficulties but she never comes to me first. Isn't there privacy issues regarding this. What should I do turn her into employee relations? SOme of the other Techs have said to me I would not do they they'll fire you. They don't like hiring minorities here anyway. I was told that by a couple of mintority nurses who seem afriad of the consequences if you make trouble. I cannot sleep at night this is causing me health issues and I have to have this position to get through school and to become a PA. Thanks

[rachelgeorgina]

To all the posters that advised the OP to just up and quit and do nothing about it because this sort of thing happens all the time and is never going to change... This is the very reason why things will never change. How can anything be done if no one speaks up, is proactive about their rights at work (i.e. feeling safe, not being abused etc) or active if trying to change things.

The first step to create change would be to speak to the appropriate people in the "chain of command". Does your hospital have a flow chart type thing of administration? That might be a good way to find out who is above your boss (as you've made it clear you don't feel you can talk to her) in order to take the issue further.

No one should have to face this sort of thing at work or anywhere else - whether it's a matter of race or not, that seems superfluous.

[RN1982]

I don't think anyone said just up and quit and not do anything. Grow some balls and do something, stop complaining about it if you aren't trying to handle the situation.

[ybq2008]

a poster is not credible because they don't buy the race card? "i wish they could be a minority for a day"??

it is comments like this that just burn me up! why can't a person just not be treated right at work and it NOT be a racial thing? i am sure that the majority of us have been in situations where we felt we were "wronged" at work. why is it that if this happens to me, it's just a crabby boss but if it happens to you it is because you are black?

i'd really like an answer to this.

If you had read my post carefully, you would have seen that I did not imply that. I simply mentioned that this site is full of helpful and well-intentioned people with a valid point; as well as those who are not. The ignorance I referred to was from another recent thread where someone referred to the competition she encountered at a job fair were all "Me Speaka No's." Anyone ignorant/insecure enough to insult a whole race of people based on what she assumed is certainly not credible in my book.

What bugs me the most in situations like these is that so many non-minority observers make the comment that racism didn't happen or minimize the victim's interpretation of racism to make themselves feel better (which happens a lot). As other posters have commented, this does happen. A lot. I have experienced it so frequently throughout my 25 years on this earth that I'm learning to not let it bother me as much, because it is a part of life, especially in this country. Things have gotten better, and I am so happy for that, but racism is still alive and well.

It sounds to me like you have not had the experience of being a minority, as you would be more respectful to the OP's situation and may even find some way to empathize. There was a story a while back on one of the primetime news shows where an anchor woman disguised herself as a black person. Full make-up, and all. She was able to spend that day as a black woman. She was in tears sharing her experience by the end of it all.

All I'm saying is, try not to minimize someone else's experience of racism, because you might not have a clue what you're talking about. While I agree that there are some that pull the race card as an excuse, minorities are less respected, less paid, and less employed in the working world than there counterparts. The labor statistics do not lie.

[southernbeegirl, BSN, RN]

oh give me a dam break

[mom35]

I just want to suggest this: where I live, I am a minority. I am one caucasian of maybe four and the rest of our neighbors are hispanic-Nothing wrong with that they are awesome neighbors, we all talk and get along beautifully. When I went to high school the caucasians were in majority-now eighteen years later in community college- caucasians are the minority. If I understand statistics for the future of US, the caucasians will be, and maybe already are, in minority.So, I guess what I am trying to say is in different settings and situations we all may be in minority in some way-Nothing wrong with that! I dont mind being a minority because we are all a part of the Human race-wishing love and positive thoughts!

[ybq2008]

oh give me a dam break

Why are you so hostile? You're making it hard to see your point in posting on this thread.

[rachelgeorgina]

Why are you so hostile? You're making it hard to see your point in posting on this thread.

This. Haven't you heard the saying,

"If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"?

Your responses are totally useless and down right not nice for no good reason. There's no structured content or constructive input in them, just a really really nasty tone.

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

Ok - let's please stay on topic - if we can't offer something constructive to the original poster, then it is better to take our off-topic discussions to another thread. By the way, where is the original poster?

[LEN-RN]

First I want to say I feel your pain. Its hurts when you are the odd one out, new girl, whatever, and everyone is ignoring you.

You work with some bullys, the head one set the tone, and the others followed. I am sure you were not even the "target" , but just happen to be there. I dont take this as being racial, I take this as you being new. Its not like that everywhere, but it is common. I would not take it personal.

Try and smile, be friendly, offer help. Dont isolate yourself and withdraw. Talk to all staff, not just staff of color as that will cause a bigger division, others may take it that YOU are being racist.

After you get your training, I would get out of there. (unless things change for the better). There really are some great places to work. Dont give up, you were just unfortunate to find the place with bullys.

[southernbeegirl, BSN, RN]

Why are you so hostile? You're making it hard to see your point in posting on this thread.

it's not hostility, it's total frustration.

by your argument, just by being the minority in a situation is cause for feeling prejudiced against not matter what the situation. in this situation, it is a girl who works with rude people.

my argument is why cant it just be that she works with nasty people as we all have at one time or another? instead, you say that just by her being a minority, she is justified to feel prejudiced against.

THAT is what frustrates me. why is that ok? what part of her OP shows racism?

As i read her post, i was totally with her. i am sure we all have worked with people like that at one point or another. as i'm reading i'm thinking "do we work with the same people??".

but then 3/4 into her post she says "it's because i'm black".

this was me --------> WTH?? where did THAT come from??

her nurse gets pist at a family, tells her to finish the discharge, the manager doesnt help her when she asks for help...and it's because she's black?

therein was the beginning of my frustration.

it was then further compounded by other posters, such as yourself, saying it's ok or even normal to feel that way.

i repeat my argument....

i am fat....VERY FAT. so if someone isnt nice to me, or i dont get a promotion i want....it's because i'm fat and they dont like fat people! going under the premise of your side of the argument, i can blame situations like this on my fatness.

my argument is this...THAT IS RIDICULOUS!

ya know what...there probably ARE situations where i've been passed over for something because i'm fat. so what? thats life. you deal with it and move on. as we tell our children "sometimes, life isn't fair. deal with it".

am i prejudiced against as a fat person? YOU BET YOUR SWEET REAREND I AM! people stare at me where ever i go at times. you should be at the swimming pool when i go. lord have mercy all those skinny little girls in their bikinis cant help but stare. so what? am i going to let that stop me from doing something i love? heck no!

i don't dwell on other peoples feelings...thats their crap and they have to deal with it.

but it is NOT ok for me to use it as an excuse for any situation i find myself in either.

by your argument, it is "normal" for her to automatically assume it is because she's black? WHY IS THAT OK?

until people get out of that "poor me" victim mentality and see each situation for what it is and not what it MIGHT be...NOTHING is going to change in the country.

as i said..i am NOT saying racism doesnt exist. it is alive and well in our country.

BUT NOT IN EVERY SITUATION A BLACK PERSON FINDS THEMSELVES IN!

therein lies the frustration of people like me. we would like to be sympathetic but it's really hard when someone is blaming every situation on the color of their skin.

to me, that is over the top and that is the reason that many people don't even like to have this conversation with minorities. because of the victim mentality it is plain and simple...frustrating.

[LEN-RN]

it's not hostility, it's total frustration.

by your argument, just by being the minority in a situation is cause for feeling prejudiced against not matter what the situation. in this situation, it is a girl who works with rude people.

By your argument, it is "normal" for her to automatically assume it is because she's black? WHY IS THAT OK?

until people get out of that "poor me" victim mentality and see each situation for what it is and not what it MIGHT be...NOTHING is going to change in the country.

as i said..i am NOT saying racism doesnt exist. it is alive and well in our country.

BUT NOT IN EVERY SITUATION A BLACK PERSON FINDS THEMSELVES IN!

therein lies the frustration of people like me. we would like to be sympathetic but it's really hard when someone is blaming every situation on the color of their skin.

to me, that is over the top and that is the reason that many people don't even like to have this conversation with minorities. because of the victim mentality it is plain and simple...frustrating.

I agree with this 100%. Very well said.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

Getting back to the original post, I don't think reporting the manager is a good idea in that specific situation- I don't see that she did anything wrong. She may have been a little short with you but that's forgiveable in a stressed environment. I also agree that put a little gas on the fire with the family, and it would have been nicer for you to let them know she was on the way, and retreat so they could calm down.

If you are convinced she was out of line, and still want to report her I strongly suggest moving to another unit or finding another job. The dynamics will be impossible once word of the complaint gets out (and it will), and you will be on the powerless end of the relationship even more so than now.