How to report my boss

[Angela.RN2B]

I have for sometime been harrassed at work, I have been a Student Nurse tech for a year. and I have been just letting it slide. The other day the nurse I was teching fr made a family angry. She got into a confratation with the family members and storms out of the patients room. I am prepping the patient to leave and she said here finish up. The family says to me don't touch the patient get the Manager or who ever her boss is. well I do I go out to the boss and I tell her what has happen and says the family wants to see you immediatly they will not allow me to take vitals on the patient until they speak with you. She says to me well tell the family I will finish up what Im doing and I will be down to talk to them once the patient is discharged. I felt completly blew off. very alone wondering ok. How am I suppose to handle it? I return tell the family what she said and they blew up not really at me but at how abusive the nurse was and that the manager was just acting like it was not a big deal. I have also had Nurse who have jerked items out of my hands, yell at me like Im a dog to do something that they could have handled. I tell this Manager and she acts like Im lying is always making me feel like I am blowing things out of porportion. I have to sit in a break room with co-workers who will not even say jello to me have a conversation with everyone but me and also ignore me when I ask for assistance. I was told by someone who used to work on the same unit that she was treated the same, we are both minorities and she feels like maybe there is some racism going on. I just want to leave this unit if possible but I want to make sure I address the issues with this manager I think she should be more professional and i am sick and tired of her making me look like a fool in front of patients. Blaming things on me that nurses do. She always has their backs and acts as if what I say or do does not matter. She is constantly calling out my faults and she discusses my weaknesses with other employees. I have had them come up to me and say she is really upset with how you do such and such, and they are always checking up on me telling me I need to hurry up they are Techs too they have been here longer, sure but I don't appreciate her tealling them I have difficulties but she never comes to me first. Isn't there privacy issues regarding this. What should I do turn her into employee relations? SOme of the other Techs have said to me I would not do they they'll fire you. They don't like hiring minorities here anyway. I was told that by a couple of mintority nurses who seem afriad of the consequences if you make trouble. I cannot sleep at night this is causing me health issues and I have to have this position to get through school and to become a PA. Thanks

[southernbeegirl, BSN, RN]

Southern Bee, most people who are being abused search for a reason for the abuse. In doing so, they often attribute the abuse to being different in whatever way they are different.

I dont understand what you are talking about. Could you elaborate? Are you referrering to the OP as the person being abused?

[Viviana, ASN, RN]

I'm saying that it is only natural that the poster, Angela, feels that she is the victim of abuse because her race or ethnic origin is different from that of her colleagues.

What is an "op"? Do you mean "original poster"?

[southernbeegirl, BSN, RN]

To the OP, I've had a similar experience in non-nursing positions. Being disrespected, harassed, and sabotaged for being young, competent, and black. Some find it threating, and depending on where you're from, it very well may be the accepted code of behavior for all involved (minority and non-minority).

It happens, don't get me wrong, but be careful who you vent to. Per previous comments, perhaps a forum like this may not be the best outlet. So many people want to claim that racism is non-existent, but I really wish they could be a minority for a day (Black, Hispanic, etc.) and experience even half of what some of us face on a daily basis, even from colleagues, for no other reason except for being a minority. I recent commented on another forum where a young nurse referred to colleagues as "Me Speaka No's," so just as an earlier poster referred to someone credible on this site, there are plenty of other posters who are not credible.

If you believe you are being harassed, go to HR. File a complaint and have it documented for legal purposes. Do not confront anyone, unless you are prepared to resign. Sadly, these issues usually don't resolve themselves and you may just have to leave. If you can stand it any longer, you might learn a lot in how to deal with difficult people. Good luck, and feel free to PM me :)

a poster is not credible because they don't buy the race card? "i wish they could be a minority for a day"??

it is comments like this that just burn me up! why can't a person just not be treated right at work and it NOT be a racial thing? i am sure that the majority of us have been in situations where we felt we were "wronged" at work. why is it that if this happens to me, it's just a crabby boss but if it happens to you it is because you are black?

i'd really like an answer to this.

[southernbeegirl, BSN, RN]

I'm saying that it is only natural that the poster, Angela, feels that she is the victim of abuse because her race or ethnic origin is different from that of her colleagues.

What is an "op"? Do you mean "original poster"?

why?? why is that only natural????

i'm fat...so everything that happens to me in my life i can blame on the person doing it being prejudiced against fat people?

do you see how ridiculous that sounds?

and i am NOT saying racial discrimination does NOT happen because i'm sure we have all seen it and it is wrong. but to blame EVERYTHING on race is over the top, IMO.

i think what got me so in the OP (yes, original post, or original poster) is that she states "i have been told" , "other people have said" type comments that the people she works with do not like minorities.

my argument is this...

were she NOT listening to gossip and inuendos...would she have come to the same conclusion. had she never been told "oh, well they dont like minorities", would she have just thought "omg i hate these people i work with because they are horrible and rude!" ? (like MANY MANY of us have vented before) had she not been influenced by another's opinion, what would have been her own conclusion? i would like to know EXACTLY what part of that situation was because she was black and what part was because the people she works with are just plain rude?

[Viviana, ASN, RN]

See my post above for explanation. People who are different often think that they are being abused because they are not as good as others because of their race or ethnicity. This is a common feature of abuse.

That being said, I think that the original poster should educate herself about workplace bullying and horizontal hostility.

[southernbeegirl, BSN, RN]

i give up

[Viviana, ASN, RN]

It's not "ridiculous", it's the outcome of research on abuse. You know, as in "evidence based"?

What is a "race card"? Is that some sort of slang that I am perhaps unfamiliar with? Do people who belong to minorities carry some sort of card? Or is this perhaps some sort of racist description of something?

Sorry, I agree with other posters here: I wish you could be a member of a minority for a day, also. Then maybe you wouldn't roll your eyes when others are describing how painful it is to be different and vulnerable.

Angela, you should finish this nurse tech position and move on to another hospital. The abuse you are experiencing is not related to your race or ethnicity, it's the standard "nurses eating their young" experience that many new nurses experience. It is completely unacceptable, but it is very common.

Another poster here has described what it feels like to be bullied because she is different: https://allnurses.com/general-nursing-discussion/when-you-know-407597.html

[geekgolightly, BSN, RN]

To the OP, I've had a similar experience in non-nursing positions. Being disrespected, harassed, and sabotaged for being young, competent, and black. Some find it threating, and depending on where you're from, it very well may be the accepted code of behavior for all involved (minority and non-minority).

It happens, don't get me wrong, but be careful who you vent to. Per previous comments, perhaps a forum like this may not be the best outlet. So many people want to claim that racism is non-existent, but I really wish they could be a minority for a day (Black, Hispanic, etc.) and experience even half of what some of us face on a daily basis, even from colleagues, for no other reason except for being a minority. I recent commented on another forum where a young nurse referred to colleagues as "Me Speaka No's," so just as an earlier poster referred to someone credible on this site, there are plenty of other posters who are not credible.

If you believe you are being harassed, go to HR. File a complaint and have it documented for legal purposes. Do not confront anyone, unless you are prepared to resign. Sadly, these issues usually don't resolve themselves and you may just have to leave. If you can stand it any longer, you might learn a lot in how to deal with difficult people. Good luck, and feel free to PM me :)

Thanks for this post. While not all situations may be attributed to race relations, and certainly whites feel put upon in the way the OP describes, if you are a minority and surrounded by the majority, and have seen and heard other minorities receiving the same poor treatment you feel you are getting, it could easily be a race issue. Racism is alive and well, and is quite often the pink elephant in the room.

I have seen it myself. I'm white and the things white people say in front of me, when they assume I think like them, can be quite shocking and disgusting.

I also agree with turnleft, when she states that the best thing to say to a patient's family is that the manager will be with you in a few moments. You have no idea what that manager is actually trying to do at that moment, it could be extremely important and she didn't "blow you off," she said she would be there when she finished up with her current issue.

[jerenemarie]

i am tired of people accusing others of pulling the "race card" when there are issues with bullying & harassment! it does exist due to race, physical appearance, sexual orientation & disabilities...i have experienced it due to my severe hearing loss. while i am much more assertive about it than i ever used to be, i still get the looks, snide remarks, etc due to my hearing loss. i can understand where these nurses are coming from when they ask for help on this forum for workplace bullying so please don't accuse them of pulling the race card! one of my solutions is to document, document, document dates, times, witnesses, where it happened, etc! and remember to always save all your document in a safe place!

thanks,

jerenemarie

[chicookie, BSN, RN]

I still love southernbeegirl.

(I haven't read the posts in between just the one that said I give up. )

[DolceVita, ADN, BSN, RN]

I have seen it myself. I'm white and the things white people say in front of me, when they assume I think like them, can be quite shocking and disgusting.

I have the same experience and it is shocking -- makes me embarrassed to be associated with them. I even get people saying awful things about foreigners -- when I am one. Then they turn to me and say "oh but you are OK".

A bully is a bully is a bully. They will seek something that separates you from the rest of the pack, something they can pick on. It could be race, gender, orientation, weight or anything. Usually they will pick whatever they feel will have the greatest effect on the subject. Sometimes they will even use performance issues. Much of it is about power.

The reason bullying is so isolating is that others see and hear what is happening and they are just so bloody grateful that they are not the subject of it. They often fear that to be seen as friendly to the victim will place them at risk of getting the same treatment. Sadly it often does.

I believe the OP in that their may be a race component. What I doubt is that the bullying originally stems from racism. When a bully is in place someone is going to be their victim. The thing that most victims of bullying have in common is that they are NEW to the company or dept. and haven't established their network.

I would leave the place and no I would not write a letter to the administration. Once you have left they have no obligation to pay attention to it and it will only serve to affect your relationship with them as a future reference. I know some people will be annoyed at that but it is the case. If you have ever sat with your colleagues while they laughed at a letter sent by a former employee you would understand.

I wish you luck.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

QUICK!!! Make an appointment with your Human Resources department immediately. If you feel that you are being subjected to any sort of harrassment, you need to act promptly. They (HR) are the authorities in this case, and they can take any necessary actions to fix the situation. When you speak with them, be sure to provide as much objective information as possible - dates, times, incidents, etc.

Disrespect is evil... even more so when it arises from prejudice. I know how difficult it is to take a stand when there may be easier ways to deal such as just quitting and going to a new job. I wish you courage :heartbeat.