How to report my boss

[Angela.RN2B]

I have for sometime been harrassed at work, I have been a Student Nurse tech for a year. and I have been just letting it slide. The other day the nurse I was teching fr made a family angry. She got into a confratation with the family members and storms out of the patients room. I am prepping the patient to leave and she said here finish up. The family says to me don't touch the patient get the Manager or who ever her boss is. well I do I go out to the boss and I tell her what has happen and says the family wants to see you immediatly they will not allow me to take vitals on the patient until they speak with you. She says to me well tell the family I will finish up what Im doing and I will be down to talk to them once the patient is discharged. I felt completly blew off. very alone wondering ok. How am I suppose to handle it? I return tell the family what she said and they blew up not really at me but at how abusive the nurse was and that the manager was just acting like it was not a big deal. I have also had Nurse who have jerked items out of my hands, yell at me like Im a dog to do something that they could have handled. I tell this Manager and she acts like Im lying is always making me feel like I am blowing things out of porportion. I have to sit in a break room with co-workers who will not even say jello to me have a conversation with everyone but me and also ignore me when I ask for assistance. I was told by someone who used to work on the same unit that she was treated the same, we are both minorities and she feels like maybe there is some racism going on. I just want to leave this unit if possible but I want to make sure I address the issues with this manager I think she should be more professional and i am sick and tired of her making me look like a fool in front of patients. Blaming things on me that nurses do. She always has their backs and acts as if what I say or do does not matter. She is constantly calling out my faults and she discusses my weaknesses with other employees. I have had them come up to me and say she is really upset with how you do such and such, and they are always checking up on me telling me I need to hurry up they are Techs too they have been here longer, sure but I don't appreciate her tealling them I have difficulties but she never comes to me first. Isn't there privacy issues regarding this. What should I do turn her into employee relations? SOme of the other Techs have said to me I would not do they they'll fire you. They don't like hiring minorities here anyway. I was told that by a couple of mintority nurses who seem afriad of the consequences if you make trouble. I cannot sleep at night this is causing me health issues and I have to have this position to get through school and to become a PA. Thanks

[Cassaundra]

Is there a person in management you feel comfortable talking to? If possile, sit down with them and discuss the problem on a personal note and ask how they would recommend you handle it. Sometimes they can tell you how to tactfully put a stop to it or how to otherwise address it. Part of dealing with it might be for you to pull your manager aside and discuss it frankly with her. Don't make outright accusations, but lay out how you feel. If none of that works, go on up the chain. If you feel the meeting will be "misreported" then have a third party there or a tape recorder that is in the open.

[caliotter3]

Well, even people who are not minorities get treated the same way. It is just the way some places and some people are sometimes. You have to decide how you are going to cope with it, or if you can't see a way of dealing with it, then make plans to leave and go. But before you leave this workplace for another, be aware that the next place may be the same way or even worse. No matter what you do, you should learn and practice assertiveness skills and relaxation skills. When you learn to let things slide right off your back you will find that the workplace can be more tolerable and you can leave work problems at work. Good luck.

[mom35]

I am sorry you are going through this-I am sure it is hard. I am starting NS in August and I vow to never treat people the way some people treat. Does not matter your color of skin, your skill-set, education, etc. we are all human beings and even though life can be tough and unfair, we need each other and we should learn to appreciate everyone we encounter in this life experience-sending out positive thoughts to you AngelaRN2B-Jo

[RN1982]

Why don't you just quit and move on? You've had problems with this employer before and frankly, you need to be proactive and go to the next step..i.e. quiting. I hate to break it to you, but people of all colors get treated the same way you are being treated. I experienced the same thing when I was a nursing assistant and a tech and I'm white so your race has nothing to do with it, so stop bringing it up. This whole "i'm a perfect person, they are picking on me" needs to quit. You're an adult, stop acting like a child. I hate to break it to you but YES you have weaknesses, we all do, it's human nature as we are not perfect. Sometimes you have to look within yourself to see why people react to you the way they do. Maybe you come off as having an attitude, a complainer, not a team player? Like I said, pee or get off the pot, it's time to move on.

When you manager asked you to tell the family that she would be with them in a moment, you didn't need to tell them what she was doing, saying that "My manager will be with you in a few moments to discuss your concerns." is sufficient. You don't need to explain to family members why your manager didn't come right away.

[southernbeegirl, BSN, RN]

I agree with TurnLeftSide!

I'm reading your post, which could have been written by any nurse at certain times in her career, and then BAM! you pull the race card? WHY?? Why is this such a common reaction? Why can't people accept that crap happens to everyone and your color is not always the reason? When you pulled that card, thats when you lost me and i'm sure a lot of other posters. I'm suprised you didnt hear me rolling my eyes.

grow up

[RN1982]

The OP takes me back to Ruby's thread about "Fired for no reason"...The nurse who could do no wrong her own mind yet co-workers were constantly picking up her slack because the nurse felt she was too perfect to make mistakes and then she didn't understand why she was fired (almost killing a patient). I'm not trying to be a b---- but people react to you in a negative way because you are projecting a negative perception of yourself.

If these issues have been going on, why haven't they been brought to the manager's attention? Has the OP contacted employee relations or Human resources regarding her "situation"? If not, why? If you want the situation to be resolved you got to be part of the solution.

[ybq2008]

To the OP, I've had a similar experience in non-nursing positions. Being disrespected, harassed, and sabotaged for being young, competent, and black. Some find it threating, and depending on where you're from, it very well may be the accepted code of behavior for all involved (minority and non-minority).

It happens, don't get me wrong, but be careful who you vent to. Per previous comments, perhaps a forum like this may not be the best outlet. So many people want to claim that racism is non-existent, but I really wish they could be a minority for a day (Black, Hispanic, etc.) and experience even half of what some of us face on a daily basis, even from colleagues, for no other reason except for being a minority. I recent commented on another forum where a young nurse referred to colleagues as "Me Speaka No's," so just as an earlier poster referred to someone credible on this site, there are plenty of other posters who are not credible.

If you believe you are being harassed, go to HR. File a complaint and have it documented for legal purposes. Do not confront anyone, unless you are prepared to resign. Sadly, these issues usually don't resolve themselves and you may just have to leave. If you can stand it any longer, you might learn a lot in how to deal with difficult people. Good luck, and feel free to PM me :)

[Sniper RN]

I have to agree. Your only option is to quit. You have done your best. They are just holding you back so the best thing to do is just quit. When anyone asks you in the future why you quit, you just hold your head high and tell them that the staff was holding you back cause you are black. Good luck in life.

[chicookie, BSN, RN]

I agree with Turn Left Side. MOVE ON! And when you have another position, take it to HR. Write a letter to administration. That way you at least did something. But I wouldn't hold my breath. Those type of things are not going to change.

[Viviana, ASN, RN]

Southern Bee, most people who are being abused search for a reason for the abuse. In doing so, they often attribute the abuse to being different in whatever way they are different.

[Viviana, ASN, RN]

Angela, what is happening to you is called "bullying". A similar concept is called "horizontal hostility" or "lateral violence". It is a HUGE problem in nursing, where nurses are often accused of "eating their young".

If you google any of the terms above, you will find reams of information on this and why it occurs. The experience of it is almost universal. As soon as you get your license, you should take another position in a completely different hospital.