Hi everyone! I'm a new nurse and I had a really bad day a bit ago with a patient who I had to call our rapid response team for and he ended up in the ICU (I have no idea other than that, HIPAA and all) and a small part of me wants to know how he is doing. He was young and I felt helpless when I couldn't fix the oxygenation issue that was going on at that time (O2 sats dropping despite increasing oxygen to 6 liters-the only method we have on our floor is nasal cannula unless respiratory brings it). I hugged his mother as they left the floor and that's the last I heard about him.
I've done everything I can think of to leave it at work but it still nags at me occasionally that I want to know how he's doing. Logically, I know that it's honestly none of my business, I'm there for my shift to take care of my patients and go home and return on my next scheduled shift to do the same. I have no desire to call and find out or do any of the creepy things I've read/heard about nurses doing (showing up to the room to check in on my days off, calling, sending flowers, etc.). I honestly just have a curiosity that I know can't ever be satisfied and I think it's because he was the first patient who left the floor on my shift to go to a higher level of care. I've had fleeting thoughts of other patients, too, who have touched me in some way, whether it be how sweet they were to me or how kind their family was.
I just need to know: what kind of methods do you use to leave it at work? I know this is one of the (I'm sure many) places I need to improve.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Dranger is burnt out, he needs to figure out why he's burnt out and stop taking it out on the newer nurses. It's easy to be rude and that probably has a lot to do with the industry being so low level in terms of cooperation and teamwork. Anyone who thinks that it is okay to talk to a new nurse the way he has is part of the problem. Thanks for the "Nurses eat their young" stereotype in action.
To the OP: yes, of course it is normal to feel the way you do when you first start. Human connection and learning boundaries takes time and skill. The longer commute idea is an excellent one. You can learn how to be a super nurse and maintain your emotional boundaries through stress management techniques, honest self awareness, exercise, try to eat well, try to sleep well.
Be careful about compassion fatigue. It happens and it can cause you a lot of problems. You definitely do not want compassion fatigue.
If you get bullied again by a burnt out nurse who wants to show you how cool he is, just smile politely, tell him thanks for the helpful information (that's just an ego soother, but if the information is helpful then that is a bonus). Know that people who act like that are burnt out and have their own issues. Don't let their issues become yours.
Nursing is hard enough.
Good luck.
I'd venture to guess that you don't know a blessed thing about Dranger other than what he's posted on this forum, and *I* didn't read "burned out" into his posts. I did read "chip on the shoulder" in yours and the post of the Username-changing newbie who lied about her experience. My advice to you and the User-name-changing newbie is to listen to your elders WITHOUT the chip on your shoulder. Learn from the crusty old bats in your orbit. And then come back and apologize.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Dranger,
Yes. My first post.
Are you challenging my experience with symptoms of burn out based on my number of posts?
Symptoms of Burn Out:
1. Frustration tolerance is very low. As evidenced by NOT focusing on de-escalating the situation by acknowledging that new nurses are valuable to the team and that showing the cynicism that you did in your subsequent posts is an unfortunate consequence of modern nursing.
2. Ineffective problem solving skills. As evidenced by continuing to defend your rude behavior towards new nurses which include a. dismissing their feelings based on their lack of (what you perceive) experience b. intimidating them with experience by refusing to acknowledging their viewpoint and instead rudely saying get back to you when they have more experience. c. not just apologizing and saying 'yeah, my bad, I remember what it felt like to be a new nurse, I can show more sensitivity towards you during your learning curve.' which would have been the most effective path to solve the communication problem and allow a "win-win".
3. Obsession on defending your bad behavior: as evidenced by your post towards me and denying that your behavior was bullying or evidence of burn out.
4. Ineffective coping as evidenced by your lack of consistent responses. Meaning: if it is truly "just a job", what are you doing spending so much time on a website giving advice to other nurses and not out enjoying your "non job" life.
5. Inappropriate medical advice as evidenced by: you have no idea whatsoever if her patient is okay. You have your own experiences to add to her informational sources but the truth is, you overstated your case in order to supply her with a false sense of emotional security. "Don't worry." Telling another professional "don't worry" is dismissive and lacks any value. If you are wrong with your false sense of emotional security, what do you say then "it's just a job"?
A good nurse would explain the situation with the understanding that no outcome is a certain outcome but "based on experience" or "based on clinical evidence trials" etc, "this is a likely outcome for this type of scenerio". That is a good nurse. That is a professional nurse. That is a nurse who respects the person he/she is giving medical information to.
You know I am right, it is pointless for you to continue this waste of time debate. Go work out why you are burnt out. Go remember why you wanted to be a nurse in the first place. Go read some literature about what lateral violence is in nursing if you really don't understand any of this. Go learn so social skills and effective communication skills so you don't find yourself getting caught up in these conflicts online if you really want to be a good, effective nurse.
Or, just keep doing what you are doing and keep getting the same results.
I've said what I have to say. You can call my "posting experience" into question if you like but you really would be making a huge mistake to think I do not know what I am talking about.
Take care, Dranger, and maybe we can pick up a different topic with more respect and professionalism. That is my sincere hope.
The respect and professionalism you seem to be obsessed with has been woefully missing in your posts. The fact that Dranger communicates more directly than you do is not a problem. Your lecturing of an experienced nurse and inaccurately "diagnosing" him with burnout IS.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
It is very weird how this person has made repeated and totally unprovoked personal attacks against dranger, who happens to be a highly experienced nurse.
Please close this thread. It has been totally derailed by a brand new member quoting from textbooks and it is going nowhere.
Please don't close the thread! It's so entertaining to watch these newbies "educating" experienced nurses with drivel from textbooks.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I agree-Dranger, you have been calm and rational in your replies to these non-nurses and nurses who got their shiny new license 10 seconds ago, and who are barely out of fetus hood.
I was tempted to direct some posts to these people, but then I remembered-I make it a policy not to argue with children. Especially children who have been told all their lives that they are Special Snowflakes who know everything about everything.
Now, the OP of the original thread (and I'm sorry, but I'm terrible at names and have totally forgotten hers) had a valid question, one which most of us seasoned nurses wrestled with at some point. I think she is going to be a very good nurse-she actually knows how to carry on a conversation, and has been very gracious, whether she actually plans to utilize any of the suggestions thrown out here or not.
We need more nurses coming into the profession like her-the self righteous, sanctimonious, spoiled entitlement Snowflakes should take their cue from her instead of screaming NETY!! and "You're a bully!!" It gets old.
You are wiser than I am. I'm still hopeful that arguing with them will make them see reason. It never does, but I seem to be eternally hopeful.
Can drinking like a pirate, smoking like a fiend and shotgunning energy drinks like it's going out of style be the answer? I'm rather proficient at all three of these things. It gets rid of my stress, my liver is well lubricated, my lungs are hard and black.... so if anyone tried to stab me they'd act as a blackened inner shield and protect my heart and I never have to run because I reach my target heart rate by drinking 20 oz of redbull!
Kidding!!!... not kidding.
In reality, you'll learn how to compartmentalize over time and maintain good boundaries. Don't take things too personally and don't get over involved. If you are thinking about work outside of work... like researching a procedure you saw, a diagnosis or some piece of evidenced based practice... that's good. If you're worried about decisions you made and reflecting on your practice... that's also good (though try not to get into that mindset beyond reflection or you'll make yourself neurotic... we can always do something better, but don't drive yourself nuts). However, if you're obsessing about your patients on a semi-regular basis then you might need to work on that. At least in my area of nursing having solid boundaries is essential to being able to do the job effectively.
OP I leave work at work by venting to the oncoming rapid nurse as I am leaving. Sometimes I open up a word document type out my feelings and delete. I feel better after that.
Specializes in Med-Surg, OB, ICU, Public Health Nursing.
This is my first post and I have retired days ago after 40 years as an RN. I am a little a disappointed with the snarky comments on this site from multiple posters. If I am critically ill, I don't know if compassion is the first qualification I am concerned about. I really want the nurse who knows drips inside out and backwards. If I am living my last days, compassion may be first on the list. What I think our new grad can learn is different nurses have different also styles of communication. I don't find lateral bullying acceptable by anyone and we have a terrible history of eating our young. I was totally with the new grad until she lied and I found that was a big red flag. I hope she learns how important honesty is and since Dranger knew she was a new grad. a softer teaching response could have been used. The fact that new grad retaliated, "I don't want you to be my nurse" was also disappointing. Now to the question at hand. I was a seasoned nurse when I moved to critical care. I had been there close to one year. My patient expired and I went home thinking what if I had increased this drip or changed this vent setting or what if...Then I had a stern talk with myself and said, my patient was 96 years old it was time for to leave this world no matter what I did. That was the night that I decide that critical care was not a good fit for me. I took my ICU experience with me on to my next job. One transfer to the ICU, in the future should not put you into a tail spin. My concern is that you will have patients die. Yes, some of those patients have a little place in my heart, even as I end 40 years of nursing.
Ruby Vee, BSN
17 Articles; 14,051 Posts
I'd venture to guess that you don't know a blessed thing about Dranger other than what he's posted on this forum, and *I* didn't read "burned out" into his posts. I did read "chip on the shoulder" in yours and the post of the Username-changing newbie who lied about her experience. My advice to you and the User-name-changing newbie is to listen to your elders WITHOUT the chip on your shoulder. Learn from the crusty old bats in your orbit. And then come back and apologize.