I am a 1st semester LPN student, and we are about to start clinicals in 2 weeks. Our class is separated into 2 groups of 9 for clinicals only (lecture we are all together), which we remain with for the remainder of our time in the program. The groups were chosen a couple of weeks ago, and since then, I have formed a good bond with my fellow group.
Yesterday, another student in my class that is with the other clinical group begged me to switch with her. She has child care issues that just came up, and said that the site I am going to first is more convenient to her. I was put on the spot, and told her that I would have to both think about it, and discuss it with my day job boss (we came to a work arrangement based on when I have to leave to get to the clinical sites).
I really don't want to make any enemies 2 months into school, but honestly, I really like my group as well as the clinical instructor I am assigned to for the 1st rotation. I have a hard time saying no, especially when put on the spot like that, so I told her I would have to let her know in a day. I have empathy for her situation, but I also have issues with my day job and have worked hard to plan everything out to my convenience.
How can I tactfully tell her no? It was almost like she wasn't going to walk away yesterday until she got a "yes" out of me... I have a feeling that she is going to keep begging until I break down. Thanks in advance!
"No" is a hard word for me too.. but in this situation, you need to look out only for yourself. You're right.. you're not at all responsible for her child care arrangements.
I agree with the others though.. 'changing would interfere with my job, I hope you find a solution'.
Thanks again everyone. She didn't approach me last night, which might have been because of my "don't even try it" face I had throughout class (rough day yesterday lol). I did find out though that she has already asked everyone else in my clinical group, and everyone told her that they couldn't. I'm guessing when she saw my hesitation Tuesday night, she figured she wouldn't bother following up last night, and made other arrangements.
I do feel empathy for her, but like almost all of you have mentioned, I am going to school for ME, and I'm not going to go out of my way to change my very carefully made rearrangements to my life for the next 18 months.
I am going to school for ME, and I'm not going to go out of my way to change my very carefully made rearrangements to my life for the next 18 months.
Maybe print that out and put it somewhere to remind yourself. You have done what you needed to be where you are now, and made the arrangements you needed to make for yourself going forward.
It is one thing to be helpful and accomidating of your class mates ("you are sick, sure I can get you the notes you missed" "Oh that is when you have to pick your kid up? sure we can work on our group project an hour earlier/on a different day"). But it is an entirely different thing to completely change your entire arrangements for that entire time.
Each individual is made aware of the requirements for clinical and class attendance at the beginning of the program. This person was given the same information as you. It is her responisibility to make it work and your responsibility to make it work for you. Hopefully she will be able to find someone to switch with.
Don't feel guilty, just say no! Say you worked hard to get your work schedule worked out around school hours, and you can't ask for changes at this time without looking bad- say it will impact other people. (I assume it would somehow, even if indirectly or minimally) Wish her luck on finding some one to switch with.
Thanks everyone! I'm going to let her know that I cannot change due to my boss' accommodations, end of story.
I agree about the child care issue...I do not have children, and someone else's child care really isn't my problem (really don't mean to cause any offense, but all the other mothers in class have made the appropriate arrangements).
I really have to learn to not feel so bad about saying no lol...
I have children and I agree that is not your problem. Everyone has a life and has their own obligations and issues. If you have arranged with your boss for your school, then you don't need an excuse to not switch. If she had issues with child care, that should have been addressed with her instructors before groups were made. It was nice of you to at least "think" about it. Good luck in clinicals.
Ask yourself, "Why did she ask me and not someone else?" They singled you out as a pushover is more than likely the honest answer. You can't please everyone all of the time. Tell them no and forget about it. It would be highly immature if that person held a grudge against you.
You have ONE job in nursing school. TO FINISH. Anything else is just details that need to be handled or ignored. I believe this is a ignore. Just because she didn't approach you that night doesn't mean she won't in future. Just say "I already arranged my own schedule around my clinicals so I can't ." Feel free to walk away after you say it. :)
I'm glad you said no. I have two bits to add to this, the first is that No is a complete sentence.
So, if someone asks you to solve their problem by doing X, Y or Z. A perfectly acceptable answer is, No.
If you want to be nicer about it, you could recognize that it's her problem by saying: "Gosh, I hate it for you that your schedule isn't working out. I won't be able to switch with you."
I've noticed that folks often try to make their problems, my problems....like it's my job to solve their issue. Generally, it isn't. Phrasing their problem back to them, with empathy, as their problem, often clarifies that I won't be taking on their problem (and amusingly confuses the heck out of them at times).
BSNMomOf6
209 Posts
That is a no-brainer hun...
"I'm sorry, it won't work out with my schedule. I'm sorry, good luck to you."
You can be an empathetic person, and still say no. I'm learning this now at 27 years old.