How do you guys do it for so long?

Nurses General Nursing

Updated:   Published

miserable-being-nurse-how-do-you-do-it.jpg.9f43d683bda16e6dd617be5dbd9e37b8.jpg

I've only been a nurse for a little over a year and I have hated it since day 1. People told me it would get better. It did get better once I got used to things, but I still genuinely hate this job. I don't think acute care is for me.

The thing is I feel like such an outsider. So many people I speak to love bedside nursing. A lot of people I know just changed to SWAT (float pool) to make more money...nursing just has such a large toll on my body: lack of sleep, running around, barely eating...

I just don't get what I'm doing wrong here. There are also a lot of nurses I know that are in grad programs and are leaving the bedside once they graduate. I just feel so stuck because I don't want to do any of this...I used to be so motivated with my career and now I just don't care about nursing. I don't know what to do. I've been miserable for SO long ?

I look up other jobs but I'm never qualified enough for them. Sometimes I do apply but there's so much competition. I feel so stuck and miserable ? I hate being a nurse. I have even looked up engineering programs and business degrees because I hate nursing. Does anyone else feel similarly?

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
36 minutes ago, speedynurse said:

Amen to this. When I was in the ER, I was so physically exhausted and in pain after work that I would come in the door and fall asleep on my couch still in dirty scrubs....thinking vaguely about the need for a shower but it was too hard to make it in there...

The spirit was willing but the flesh was at one with the couch.

3
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med/Surg-Tele-Oncology.

Hi ! You are not alone. I think most, if not all, nurses have been through the same phrases when they were new. I, too, have the same feeling. The first two years in my nursing career I constantly cried in the bathroom at work, and constantly thought about switching to home care because acute care seemed challenging to me and my colleagues weren't nice to me. It took me 4-5 years to get comfortable with my work and to start to have more confidence in myself. Now I'm into my tenth year in the same unit..I'm the most senior day shift and have preceptor many many new nurses. I'd say don't give up so easily. Difficulties help to shape your character and make you a stronger, more resilient person. Try to focus on self-care and de-stressing on your day off. Each morning before you head to work, set a small goal for the work day that is different than the day before.. " Today I'll make sure my patients are safe. "..  "Today I will finish all my documentation on time".. "Today I won't leave work for the next shift to do" .. "Today I will have patience for the demanding patients" . Focus on accomplishing one goal at a time and give yourself kudos for succeeding. Don't give extra stress to yourself. Eventually, one shift at a time, you will realize it's actually not too difficult. 

1
Up Vote Up Vote ×

Based on Patricia Benner's novice to expert nursing model, it can take 5-6 years for a new RN to become "proficient". Part of the problem is, we don't have "expert" nurses working as leaders anymore. The new grads cycle out of the hospital so fast that the experienced RNs are still in the "competent" stage. We don't even have "experts" managing the ICU!

5
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.
25 minutes ago, 2BS Nurse said:

Based on Patricia Benner's novice to expert nursing model, it can take 5-6 years for a new RN to become "proficient". Part of the problem is, we don't have "expert" nurses working as leaders anymore. The new grads cycle out of the hospital so fast that the experienced RNs are still in the "competent" stage. We don't even have "experts" managing the ICU!

This is sad but true! The last few years I worked in the hospital they were putting nurses with 1 year experience as charge and had other "leaders" with little or no bedside experience. The charge role was completely different than when I started. Back then the charge nurse was actually in charge of the pt coming and goings, you (with good reason) could tell ER that nurse is not ready for the admit yet and it would not be a problem. The charge also actually had time to do rounds on all the pts and assist nurses, docs etc as needed. Over the years that all changed into devolved into endless paperwork etc. Not good!

6
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med/Surg-Tele-Oncology.
3 minutes ago, Daisy4RN said:

This is sad but true! The last few years I worked in the hospital they were putting nurses with 1 year experience as charge and had other "leaders" with little or no bedside experience. The charge role was completely different than when I started. Back then the charge nurse was actually in charge of the pt coming and goings, you (with good reason) could tell ER that nurse is not ready for the admit yet and it would not be a problem. The charge also actually had time to do rounds on all the pts and assist nurses, docs etc as needed. Over the years that all changed into devolved into endless paperwork etc. Not good!

I totally agree! We have such a high turn-over rate in my unit because many new grads felt overwhelmed and left after working for a few months to a year. My hospital is cutting their orientation one week short to save budget. With short-staffing in every unit, new nurses are made to float as soon as they reach six months of working in the unit. With regard to being charged, any nurse who have worked in the unit for over a year are required to rotate to be charge. Charge nurse has full district in addition to all charged nurse responsibilities ( leading huddles, attending hour-long interdisciplinary round, assisting in all patient emergency, doing assignment for incoming shifts, handling all complains, filling out charge report etc.)  So much are put on the charge nurse's shoulder and charge nurse is usually the one that get blamed for if anything goes wrong in the unit on the day she's in charge. It's sad.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care.
13 hours ago, speedynurse said:

Amen to this. When I was in the ER, I was so physically exhausted and in pain after work that I would come in the door and fall asleep on my couch still in dirty scrubs....thinking vaguely about the need for a shower but it was too hard to make it in there...

I had a coworker on nights on step down who would sometimes fall asleep in her car before she could even walk into the house!  Later she would wake up and go in her house and shower.   She was older and worked till almost 66, but at the end was in so much pain, using a cane, told not to go in patients room with the cane.  That wasn't a problem because we didn't have computers in pt rooms so she just held unto the CAB and went from room to room.  Sometimes people would take her to her car in a wheelchair at the end of the shift!  We implored her to retire, but she felt she couldn't afford it.   She finally realized she would be OK after talking to Social Security and the Pension office and then quit.  But she can't walk very well and doesn't enjoy retirement because of the chronic pain, at least partly from lifting, moving patients.  Don't become that person! 

While there are still several nurses in their 60's working there,  I think that is the exception in most hospitals today.  In fact, I wouldn't advise someone making a lifetime career out of bedside nursing.  There are so many negatives, risk of physical injury, alarms, burnout, etc and so few positives, low pay, tiny raises, disrespect, poor working conditions, mandatory overtime and no pensions in most places. 

I advise the new nurses to make their hospital job a paid residency, getting some experience, then finding a better job whether at a clinic or going to school to get your NP.  In the past, NP was felt to be perfect for older nurses with years of experience; I think it is wiser for the new grads to start within two years of bedside.  Many colleges will make you retake science classes after 5 years and bedside nursing is toxic so get out while you can!  Don't waste your best years at a hospital where you won't be appreciated and probably will be forced to take too many patients etc. 

1
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER, Pre-Op, PACU.
8 hours ago, brandy1017 said:

 

While there are still several nurses in their 60's working there,  I think that is the exception in most hospitals today.  In fact, I wouldn't advise someone making a lifetime career out of bedside nursing.  There are so many negatives, risk of physical injury, alarms, burnout, etc and so few positives, low pay, tiny raises, disrespect, poor working conditions, mandatory overtime and no pensions in most places. 

I advise the new nurses to make their hospital job a paid residency, getting some experience, then finding a better job whether at a clinic or going to school to get your NP.  In the past, NP was felt to be perfect for older nurses with years of experience; I think it is wiser for the new grads to start within two years of bedside.  Many colleges will make you retake science classes after 5 years and bedside nursing is toxic so get out while you can!  Don't waste your best years at a hospital where you won't be appreciated and probably will be forced to take too many patients etc. 

I think in this day and age, you have to decide you have to do what’s right for you. I am a younger nurse (albeit a nurse who has lived with severe medical issues of her own since childhood) and nursing has only destroyed things for me further in terms of wear and tear on my body. I have no intention of staying bedside. The plan is to move on to peds NP school...possibly education or quality improvement if the first plan falls through ☺️
 

It’s really stupid for people to say you have to stay in nursing for x number of years or certain field of nursing. Do what is best for your life, family, health, and happiness. Trust me - it doesn’t earn anyone any rewards for staying in a job forever. 

5
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.

I'm 61, cancer survivor so a few disability type problems (crummy knee, SOB with exertion, pain).  Been in the ER 25 years, 40 in nursing.  I like it.  I do two 12 hour nights a week.  I avoid politics, management, etc.  although I have been a union rep for a long time.  I have worked eves or nights for almost all of it.  As said above, I can't afford to retire just yet.

I find more ways to use nursing than just bedside ER (did the whole charge routine for many years, back at bedside and appreciate it. ) Did Scout camp nursing a couple of times, first aider for events.  I also teach, travel every few years to a foreign SON and guest lecture there (usually 6 weeks worth, includes touristy time).  Family, hobbies, dogs, martial arts; there is far more to life than just work.

6
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER, Pre-Op, PACU.

PinkDoves - the bottom line is do what makes you happy and healthy, whether that is a change in your nursing career, a change in your career entirely, or multiple changes in your life. It’s very easy for us to give advice but none of us are living your life. 
 

The moment I stopped listening to others about how I should live my life or my career is the moment my life improved. I completely ruined my body, putting things on the background and now live with damage that is irreversible. Don’t compare yourself to others - including other nurses. This won’t help you and will instead make you feel worse about yourself if you can’t meet perceived expectations.

One way or the other, you said yourself that you love kids and babies. Do something with that - it doesn’t have to be nursing.

 

7
Up Vote Up Vote ×
On 5/1/2021 at 5:31 PM, LibraNurse27 said:

Me too. If you can learn how to do coding (computer codes, not code blue!) you can be rich here without any college degree. 

Yeah my friend self taught himself code and now runs a whole department at a major company without a degree. If for some reason grad school doesn't work out, I think I'll get one just to be more marketable, but it's not 100% needed

1
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med/Surg-Tele-Oncology.
19 hours ago, JBudd said:

I'm 61, cancer survivor so a few disability type problems (crummy knee, SOB with exertion, pain).  Been in the ER 25 years, 40 in nursing.  I like it.  I do two 12 hour nights a week.  I avoid politics, management, etc.  although I have been a union rep for a long time.  I have worked eves or nights for almost all of it.  As said above, I can't afford to retire just yet.

I find more ways to use nursing than just bedside ER (did the whole charge routine for many years, back at bedside and appreciate it. ) Did Scout camp nursing a couple of times, first aider for events.  I also teach, travel every few years to a foreign SON and guest lecture there (usually 6 weeks worth, includes touristy time).  Family, hobbies, dogs, martial arts; there is far more to life than just work.

How do you avoid politics and management? I need some insight 'cause that's really what bother me the most at work. 

1
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC, Assisted Living, Surgical Clinic.
On 5/2/2021 at 11:55 AM, familychick said:

 

 

Quote

“Now I have a coveted remote position working in a call center for a practice of providers who only do house calls for people in nursing homes.  I work m-f 8-5 taking calls from the nursing home nurses who need something for one of our patients.”

Sounds like a dream job to me!  How does one find such a position, and is 10 years as a floor SNF/AL LPN qualification enough?

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment