How do you guys do it for so long?

Nurses General Nursing

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I've only been a nurse for a little over a year and I have hated it since day 1. People told me it would get better. It did get better once I got used to things, but I still genuinely hate this job. I don't think acute care is for me.

The thing is I feel like such an outsider. So many people I speak to love bedside nursing. A lot of people I know just changed to SWAT (float pool) to make more money...nursing just has such a large toll on my body: lack of sleep, running around, barely eating...

I just don't get what I'm doing wrong here. There are also a lot of nurses I know that are in grad programs and are leaving the bedside once they graduate. I just feel so stuck because I don't want to do any of this...I used to be so motivated with my career and now I just don't care about nursing. I don't know what to do. I've been miserable for SO long ?

I look up other jobs but I'm never qualified enough for them. Sometimes I do apply but there's so much competition. I feel so stuck and miserable ? I hate being a nurse. I have even looked up engineering programs and business degrees because I hate nursing. Does anyone else feel similarly?

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
1 hour ago, LibraNurse27 said:

LOL exactly! I DO enjoy walks with friends, but at the time it wasn't possible and felt like tone deaf advice. All of the self care advice they gave was valid, but it just made me more frustrated that I didn't have time or energy for it. Therefore, for my own self care I unsubscribed from the self care emails ?

When I worked med-surg I used to flop on the couch straight in from the door after work.  I'd lay there thinking about going to the gym if only I could move my body.  Sometimes it would be 2 hours before I could get up and change out of my scrubs.

3 Votes
Specializes in Critical Care.

Since you're a peds nurse, I would suggest going the school nurse route.  While not the highest paying, most school nurses are much happier than bedside; and if in a unionized state you may have amazing health insurance and retirement benefits such as a great pension.

2 Votes
Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

Obviously if you hate it and are miserable you should seriously look into something else.  Life is too short.  Don't become one of those old miserable nurses that complains and sucks the life out of the workplace every day.

I've been in since 1992 and it's been rough almost every day.  

Self-care while cliche really is important.  Exercising, eating well, recreation and relationships help with the demands blah blah blah.

There have been times I've hated it too.  At this point I try to accenuate the positive.  I have a house, car, an emergency fund, the potential to retire decently, and I've traveled to fun places like Vietnam, Peru and Spain.  Even though it's rough, I sometimes take advantage of overtime bonus programs with a "well, I'm going to get mine if they want to pay me this well".  

1 Votes

I have been a nurse for 30 years and only in the last 5 have I enjoyed going to work.   You have to find what you like or leave. Believe me the wear and tear on your body and mind are not worth it.  

2 Votes
Specializes in Surgical Specialty Clinic - Ambulatory Care.

Frankly, I’ve changed positions dozens of times since 2008 when I graduated. I still hate the demands and stupid politics we play with people’s lives. The way nurses are treated as a catch all then dumped on for not keeping up with it, just effing stupid....and abusive. Don’t think yourself crazy to be disillusioned by this career. I found it best to stick with 12 hour shifts because I need lots of rest in between. I do not EVER pick up. Now that you have one year experience it might be good to go do some traveling. Making a lot more money helps. But basically I stay because I have to pay my bills. 

1 Votes
On 5/1/2021 at 7:51 PM, LokelaniRN said:

People are going to say go per diem, do reduced hours, change your shift, etc. What I am saying as a young person in your twenties, you do not need to put up with the BS of nursing. Do not waste your life in a hospital. If you want to stay in the medical field, go for PT or OT. You get a lot more respect. Otherwise, look for a career that gives you a life. A pension, days off, lots of vacation time, strong union. Maybe look into a teaching degree? 
Nursing is a failed profession . No good benefits, horrible work hours, lack of respect. 
I am glad I am out of it. Every single nurse I worked with on my last job was on antidepressants.

As a career, hospital nurse of almost 30 years, I completely agree!  I would have done so had I planned better or had the resources to do so.  Good advice!!

 

2 Votes
10 hours ago, KalipsoRed21 said:

Frankly, I’ve changed positions dozens of times since 2008 when I graduated. I still hate the demands and stupid politics we play with people’s lives. The way nurses are treated as a catch all then dumped on for not keeping up with it, just effing stupid....and abusive. Don’t think yourself crazy to be disillusioned by this career. I found it best to stick with 12 hour shifts because I need lots of rest in between. I do not EVER pick up. Now that you have one year experience it might be good to go do some traveling. Making a lot more money helps. But basically I stay because I have to pay my bills. 

Agree KalipsonRed21!!  The same reason I stay is to pay bills but one day, yes, one day!!

1 Votes
On 4/30/2021 at 3:38 PM, Nurse2001 said:

Part time hours, doing the best you can at work so when you go home you can sleep because you are tired, I miss my breaks a lot but when I leave the shift I feel I did best I could so my mind can calm down, I don’t do favors or try to be liked by management, I advocate for my patients even if I get in trouble for it, my manager is trying to get rid of me now because I am just too proper with calling rapid responses.  And changing jobs often helps.  Everytime time I change  a job I  have a small feeling of excitement and that  spark of small fire doesn’t last and that’s when it’s time to move on to the next gig.  I think of my job as my exercise time, I work hard I run I don’t eat and at the end I don’t need to waste time on exercise on my time off.  I ignore bullies, I don’t talk to people at work about work, I only concentrate on my patients, I only ask for help when it is absolutely necessary.  It is still hard and I feel I want to quit, but doing all of the above helps a little bit.  Oh and Amazon Prime!  Absolute must.  

This is my mantra too, but it's SO hard to ignore the nonsense when you're crammed into a nurses station!

1 Votes
Specializes in ER, Pre-Op, PACU.
On 5/1/2021 at 6:37 PM, LovingLife123 said:

Are you working in a situation that has rotating shifts?  I’d seriously move away from that.  Find something else.  
 

Do not pick up.  Learn how to live frugally so you work the least amount possible.  I very, very rarely pick up.  You need to create a life for yourself outside of your job.  I work with plenty of girls that are single.  You know what a lot of them have in common?  They all have dogs.  Seriously.  They love coming home to their dogs.  Then, they walk their dogs at dog parks, meet people around them.  A few of my single coworkers have joined fitness places.  Whether cross fit or places similar.  If you are simply going to work and back to an empty apartment every, single, day, no wonder you are miserable.

You have to be willing to make some changes personally, because changing careers isn’t going to fix things magically.  Monday through Friday 9-5 isn’t going to change much if you are still simply working and coming home.  If you want to change careers, go for it, but understand fundamentally that’s not your problem.  I would though get off the rotating schedule.  Find a new employer or unit that doesn’t do that.  I was not a night shift person.  It literally made me depressed and miserable.  And I didn’t realize how awful I was until I was on days.

Just some food for thought.

Great advice. I definitely understand the night shift horrors. The second go around on nights, I thought I was losing my mind. I was an emotional mess - getting upset and crying over stupid things and I really do believe it was because of living on maybe an hour of sleep before shifts, being chronically exhausted, and nearly non existent sunlight exposure. I felt like me again moving to days. I can’t say I love my job by any means but it’s bearable. It’s a job and pays the bills.

I second the dog suggestion. I am one that I don’t mind being single. I am more than happy to be single and wait for the right husband, then be married and divorced within a year. I have a dog I come home to that gives me unconditional love and thinks I am the greatest human alive. It has also pushed me to go on walks, discover new places to hike, and go outside my comfort zone (I am naturally an introvert but conversations are easy to start with a dog in tow!)

5 Votes
Specializes in ER, Pre-Op, PACU.
On 5/1/2021 at 7:51 PM, LokelaniRN said:

People are going to say go per diem, do reduced hours, change your shift, etc. What I am saying as a young person in your twenties, you do not need to put up with the BS of nursing. Do not waste your life in a hospital. If you want to stay in the medical field, go for PT or OT. You get a lot more respect. Otherwise, look for a career that gives you a life. A pension, days off, lots of vacation time, strong union. Maybe look into a teaching degree? 
Nursing is a failed profession . No good benefits, horrible work hours, lack of respect. 
I am glad I am out of it. Every single nurse I worked with on my last job was on antidepressants.

I think this holds some truth but I am one that I don’t regret going into nursing. I do know I definitely don’t plan to stay in the job I am in for the rest of my life. No way. My goal is to possibly go to NP school for pediatric acute and/or primary care. Then change and get out of the crazy hospital systems and move into a private clinic with a pediatric population with rare or unusual genetic diseases. To work with kids and families who often can’t find help in regular clinics because of the rarity of their conditions. From personal experience, these kiddos and families appreciate the help and care. I would love to get away from controlling hospitals and management, get away from 12 hour shifts, and an adult population that is often somewhat entitled or even abusive. Right now I am biding my time to pay bills and keep benefits. 

2 Votes
Specializes in ER, Pre-Op, PACU.
On 4/28/2021 at 6:33 PM, pinkdoves said:

nursing is my first career...I am only 23 I want to get out of this ASAP but I am too scared. I love working with children. I love babies particularly, but nursing stresses me out too much to the point where I am severely depressed and get rashes

I think this is why I am so miserable...most other people have husbands, kids, etc...I am a single 23 year old girl who goes to an apartment alone ? it's so depressing I hate this job 

A few other options to think about if you truly hate nursing, but like peds. Child life therapy, pediatric OT or PT or even OTA or PTA, pediatric speech therapy, etc. I am older then you are - too late for me to change careers and I don’t hate nursing. I do hate the corrupt healthcare systems, the poor management, the lousy leadership, etc. The way I get by is by seeing it as just a job and focusing on my goal in sight - getting into possibly peds NP school at some point and working with an underserved peds population with rare conditions.

0 Votes
Specializes in ER, Pre-Op, PACU.
On 5/2/2021 at 10:46 AM, TriciaJ said:

When I worked med-surg I used to flop on the couch straight in from the door after work.  I'd lay there thinking about going to the gym if only I could move my body.  Sometimes it would be 2 hours before I could get up and change out of my scrubs.

Amen to this. When I was in the ER, I was so physically exhausted and in pain after work that I would come in the door and fall asleep on my couch still in dirty scrubs....thinking vaguely about the need for a shower but it was too hard to make it in there...

1 Votes
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