How do you guys do it for so long?

GrumpyOldBastard, MSN, RN · May 7, 2021

Not all nursing is inpatient acute care. Lots of us don't want to do that! Find a setting that works for you. Good Luck.

wfreeland · May 7, 2021

You may be in the wrong nursing field. Just before I graduated nursing, I realized that I HATED hospital bedside nursing! I went to my instructor and asked her if I HAD to do that in order to be considered a nurse. She told me no, with a smile and had me speak with the DON who gone to school straight thru to her doctorate in psychology. All I ever wanted to do was be a psych nurse, and so that is what I have done. And public health and school nursing. There are so many fields you can go into. Just try out another one.

ap05 · May 7, 2021

I left acute care and took control of my choice in employment. Once you hit 2 years of experience, in my opinion doors open, so use it to your advantage. I work one part time job that gives benefits and always hold an enjoyable PRN. I also got a masters degree to teach. I know that's not doable in every situation. There are so many options out there. Don't be scared to be creative. The benefits of nursing are the options we have. Don't fear job hopping. Historically it was frowned upon, but I've held many jobs, all of which I performed well at because I left before I was miserable. Employers often value my experience due to my willingness to try new things. Save money if you can so that taking risks can be more manageable. You have options to make nursing a great career. I totally understand your feelings, though. My first year was miserable because I felt stuck. Five years later I feel very different.

Ruby Vee, BSN · May 8, 2021

On 4/27/2021 at 10:39 PM, pinkdoves said:

I've only been a nurse for a little over a year and I have hated it since day 1. People told me it would get better. It did get better once I got used to things, but I still genuinely hate this job. I don't think acute care is for me.

The thing is I feel like such an outsider. So many people I speak to love bedside nursing. A lot of people I know just changed to SWAT (float pool) to make more money...nursing just has such a large toll on my body: lack of sleep, running around, barely eating...

I just don't get what I'm doing wrong here. There are also a lot of nurses I know that are in grad programs and are leaving the bedside once they graduate. I just feel so stuck because I don't want to do any of this...I used to be so motivated with my career and now I just don't care about nursing. I don't know what to do. I've been miserable for SO long ?

I look up other jobs but I'm never qualified enough for them. Sometimes I do apply but there's so much competition. I feel so stuck and miserable ? I hate being a nurse. I have even looked up engineering programs and business degrees because I hate nursing. Does anyone else feel similarly?

I felt the exact same way you did when I was a new nurse -- except for the people in grad programs because that wasn't a thing in the 70s. I hated nursing, couldn't wait to find a "better" career, and was abjectly miserable. I even got an MBA. Something happened to me, though, while I was in business school. I was meeting new people, learning new things, and the focus in my life was NOT in nursing or in my specific job. The job was something I did to earn money to pursue other interests.

I was applying for jobs in nursing management -- anything to get away from actual patients -- when I realized that I was an adrenalin junkie. I loved codes (and as a CCU nurse, we covered codes in the whole house) and I loved titrating drips, reading ECGs, and the teamwork. When I didn't get the management job I was going after, I was relieved.

I like nursing, especially critical care nursing, and I like my patients. Nursing isn't the center of my life; it's a job. And that's OK.

Sometimes a change in specialty is in order -- when I went from the hematology floor to MICU, I had a much-improved attitude and more enjoyment of the job. Pediatrics is especially difficult for some people, geriatrics is the worst for others. Sometimes a change of shift brings about a drastic change in your enjoyment of the job, and sometimes you need to change your employer, or even your location. (I loved living in Boston, but the culture at work sucked the life out of me. I moved a thousand miles and enjoyed my job there.)

Good luck. I hope you find what you need to thrive.

Davey Do · May 8, 2021

On 5/5/2021 at 1:14 PM, brandy1017 said:

doesn't enjoy retirement because of the chronic pain... Don't become that person!

Wise words, brandy.

My plan was to work until I was 65 years old, and ended up being Fired & Retired at the age of 63.

It was a blessing in disguise.

My little sister, Cat, was diagnosed with a terminal illness and I was able to spend a lot of her final time withe her.

Cat never got a chance to enjoy her retirement.

londonflo · May 8, 2021

4 hours ago, Davey Do said:

My plan was to work until I was 65 years old, and ended up being Fired & Retired at the age of 63.

4 hours ago, Davey Do said:

My little sister, Cat, was diagnosed with a terminal illness and I was able to spend a lot of her final time withe her.

Cat never got a chance to enjoy her retirement.

I thought I would work through to 70 years old. I broke my hip on an Icey step, and during rehab my husband helped me make the decision to retire. I love retirement.

Wishinonastar, BSN · May 8, 2021

On 4/28/2021 at 3:09 PM, Wuzzie said:

Funny you should say this. I was in a class one time where the vast majority of attendees were new grads. We had a section on "self-care" (barf) and had to go around and say what we did to relieve stress. After endless answers of walking, reading, knitting (insert eye roll for all of these) with the instructor smiling and nodding enthusiastically it was my turn and I kind of lost it. It went sort of like this..."you know what nurses do to deal with the crap they go through? That's easy, look at the back 20 pages of your board's quarterly newsletter where they list the disciplinary actions. That's where you'll find what nurses do. We drink and divert drugs, over eat, are sexually promiscuous or go home every night and assume the fetal position. We yell at our kids, we get divorced and we commit suicide. Those of us who manage to hang on are dying a death by a thousand cuts. Then we go to work for companies that pay lip-service to self care by dinging us for calling off and providing things like massages that only management can attend because we are too busy, you know, taking care of patients all the while patting themselves on the back for taking such good care of their "family" of employees. No human being can see the things we do and not be affected by it down to our very souls. Look around this room. Just a few months ago most of these nurses were in school and they dealt with stress by partying and we do nothing to teach them anything different. I mean come on...what 21 year old deals with a kid being scraped off the pavement by taking a walk? We offer our young nurses nothing tangible in the way of handling this very new kind of stress and wonder why so many throw in the towel before they've had a chance to succeed. The sad truth of it is that most of us experienced nurses are sucked so dry we feel we have very little to give so the cycle continues." Yeah, I spent a minute in my boss's office after that little rant but I still believe it's true and I have no idea how to fix it. To the OP, I'm sorry you hate it. I wish I had words of advice for you but I don't. Well, except maybe go for a walk. ?

We are a sad bunch. But your post rings true. I think the key is to find the area you can cope with. I loved some things in the hospital as a student and an aide but as a nurse I wanted oncology and I could not get transferred there. Ortho was a horrible experience, telemetry was not much better but more tolerable. Neither was my niche so I moved on to home health and hospice. That, I could tolerate. I think you have to move around to find your niche. I did brief stints in long-term care and ICFMR, neither was for me. I tried management- just so-so. I found managers cannot really make things better- they are responsible for everyone else's actions and I prefer to be responsible only for my own. Never thought I would end up in school health, but here I am. I usually work second jobs too, and it gives me a chance to try other things just in case I should run across my dream job. At 59 I do not think it is out there. It is a matter of trade-offs.

Don't throw in the towel. Figure out what you like doing and move towards it. You do not have to be a hands-on nurse. You do have to have experience to move forward. I liked hospital work but not hospitals. Home health is a great area to do assessments, teaching, and still use your skills. Hospice is very emotional. If you do not want to connect with patients, hospice is not for you. Long-term care is a lot of paperwork and more management. But it is drama-filled and can be super stressful due to lack of staff. A doctor's office is less hands-on and more stable hours. Some people settle for that because the pluses make up for the lower pay. Some people really thrive in the quick-care clinics- just enough variety to be interesting without the heavy stress of the ER. Consider what interests you and move on.

allnurses Guide · May 8, 2021

On 4/29/2021 at 7:04 AM, RN-to- BSN said:

This is the best advice. Separate work from life: say no to overtime, extra shifts, meetings and endless projects. Limit your stress. Be present at work, but set boundaries when you are home. Don't text your manager. Don't let scheduling call you personally asking to come in when they are short. They are ALWAYS short. Live your life first.

Yes ansd Yes and Yes! It is so important to seperate work and leisure plan. I hahve been a nurse for the past 20 years and always make time for myself.It helps that I don't have student loan debt. When I am off work I turn my phone on do not disturb, I garden, walk my dogs and cook. If I want extra shifts I let the staffing office and they always find something for me to do. My advice to the OP isto hang in for that coveted 1st year of experience then move on. Hopefully you are not saddled with a lot of student debt.

As far as being 23 and single its OK. Don't rush relationships either friendships or Romantic. The right people will come into your life at the right time. You have just started to write the story of your life. make it an adventure.

Hppy

GramoRN · May 9, 2021

I made it through 40 years of nursing. Some were great, some were hell. I wasn't confident in my skills for about 10years. I tried a little of everything from ER, Labor and Delivery, Substance abuse, and on and on until I found my niche was Home health. Stuck with that for over 25 years and used everything else I had ever learned at some point. I had an addicted, Bipolar husband for a time, Raised 2 kids on my own. Didn't dare drink because I knew where that road would go. Coped with help of family, friends, and Faith. I was always glad there were so many choices in nursing and It always paid enough to get by. My advise is to become proficient then find what suits you. I would have failed miserably in ER or ICU. I couldn't function in long periods of trauma and stress, but I was a good teacher and had good assessment skills that served me well dealing with patients in their own home. Learn about yourself and what makes you want to be a nurse. If it is codependence, as it is for many, many of us, learn to recognise and deal with it. Nursing is a hard profession. But when you are on the retired side of it you can look back and remember the lives you saved, people you changed for the better and remember a voice saying "You made a difference".

GrumpyOldBastard, MSN, RN · May 10, 2021

I have mulled this over much since my first comment above.

There are at least four ways to "Hate" nursing:

Hate "Nursing" as a whole.
Hate a nursing specialty (med/surg, ICU, ED, peds, onc, etc).
Hate a setting (acute hospital, outpatient, home health, etc).
Hate a specific workplace.

It is critical that we understand that each of these is different. Just because a specific workplace is hell.... does not mean that all workplaces are hell too. Just because a specific setting is hell, does not mean that all settings are hell. Just because one specialty is hell, does not mean that all are.

I have seem many folks hate a specific workplace and then say (incorrectly) "I hate nursing!" Until you have tried various flavors of nursing... you can't really determine that you hate all of nursing.

I am retiring this month after 39 years as a nurse. My last job was wonderful and lasted 23 years.. the job immediately preceding it was a soul crushing nightmare. The trick for me was to be honest with myself... I needed to stop doing a job that I thought I "should" be competent at... and instead do what I was happy doing.

A key lesson for me was that different nurses excel in, and are happy in, different situations. Other nurses LOVED the job that I found to be a soul crushing nightmare. Similarly, the job I really enjoyed... many others say they could not do!

It took FAR too long for me to let go of the idea that I "should" be good at nursing jobs that I hated.

Nursing is a BIG world.... hunt for your niche.

I wish you the very best!

Wishinonastar, BSN · May 10, 2021

4 hours ago, GrumpyOldBastard said:

I have mulled this over much since my first comment above.

There are at least four ways to "Hate" nursing:

Hate "Nursing" as a whole.

Hate a nursing specialty (med/surg, ICU, ED, peds, onc, etc).

Hate a setting (acute hospital, outpatient, home health, etc).

Hate a specific workplace.

It is critical that we understand that each of these is different. Just because a specific workplace is hell.... does not mean that all workplaces are hell too. Just because a specific setting is hell, does not mean that all settings are hell. Just because one specialty is hell, does not mean that all are.

I have seem many folks hate a specific workplace and then say (incorrectly) "I hate nursing!" Until you have tried various flavors of nursing... you can't really determine that you hate all of nursing.

I am retiring this month after 39 years as a nurse. My last job was wonderful and lasted 23 years.. the job immediately preceding it was a soul crushing nightmare. The trick for me was to be honest with myself... I needed to stop doing a job that I thought I "should" be competent at... and instead do what I was happy doing.

A key lesson for me was that different nurses excel in, and are happy in, different situations. Other nurses LOVED the job that I found to be a soul crushing nightmare. Similarly, the job I really enjoyed... many others say they could not do!

It took FAR too long for me to let go of the idea that I "should" be good at nursing jobs that I hated.

Nursing is a BIG world.... hunt for your niche.

I wish you the very best!

I really like the way you worded this. It took me a long time to accept that I cannot always like the things I SHOULD like and I cannot always be good at what I SHOULD be good at. We have what is in our hearts and we have the expectation of ourselves that we hold up as ideal. The two do not always mesh. I wanted glamorous jobs but found they were not my cup of tea. I found that what I like, need, and value the most is independence. The glamorous jobs do not allow for that much. I was pretty good and pretty darn happy in home health, but as the hospital based agencies sank I tried to go to a for-profit and it was not the same. I thought I had lost all meaning in nursing. I tried a few other areas but I hated them. Finally I settled on school health and guess what? I found independence again and I can cope. I miss the road. I miss going to homes. But I found a place where I fit. The one greatest thing about nursing is that unlike every other profession, we can do so many different kinds of work! There is something, some place, for everyone in nursing. It is our great blessing.

CardiTeleRN, BSN · May 12, 2021

I’m with it. I wish I could leave. I wish schools were honest in the beginning.