How to explain how hard you have to work in nursing school

peytonsmom · Mar 4, 2011

I'm with most of the people that say don't even bother trying. They're not going to get it unless they've been there. I think this especially applies to people that have been to college for things other than nursing. I have a business degree and I can tell you I put in about 1/4th of the time and 1/10th of the effort that I have been putting into nursing school, but most people seem set in the "college is college" mindset.

I work 2 twelve hour midnight shifts each week, am heading into my last two semesters of school, and have a 5 year old boy currently involved in tball, 4-H and riding lessons. I'm very active in my son's school and am currently trying to figure out how to head up the committee for teach appreciation week that just so happens to fall during finals week. There are usually two days a week that due to my work, school, & son's schedule I end up getting 2 hours of sleep or doing 30 hour stretches before I can fall on my face for 5 hours and do it all over. All of that and my husband and a lot of family/friends STILL doesn't truly "get" how difficult nursing school is for me.

*ETA* - Our pass is an 80 and we have 20 of the 52 people we started with.

Moogie · Mar 4, 2011

I'm finishing up a graduate program. I love my husband dearly and he is supportive, but he does not understand. He's okay with the house being messy and with having Hamburger Helper for supper, but he doesn't understand why I am always studying or why sometimes I stay up late to work. Mostly he does not understand the stress. He doesn't "get" why sometimes I am to the point of tears or so frustrated that I could spit. He doesn't seem to understand why I often need to unwind with other students or complain to my friends here on AN.

This is a second marriage for each of us. What I find difficult is that his ex-wife was not at all career-oriented and he has difficulty adjusting to my career being in warp drive. It isn't that his first wife was Martha Stewart and he expects the same from me; she just wasn't very ambitious in her career aspirations and I am, so he is not used to considering the demands of my education and career.

OB-nurse2013, BSN, RN · Mar 4, 2011

I don't know I think it's impossible. I have a very supportive husband and he doesn't mind the house messy and what not but I do! It drives me nuts but when he I do come home from school and picking up my kids and get home and he cleaned the house top to bottom I think he gets it. I think its like what the one woman wrote about actions being important. My husband realized that it was a bit harder then my pre-req's when my only break from the kids I have which is once a week at Grandma and Grandpa's I spent in the library he felt bad. But I have idiot friends that don't have a clue but that has to do with them not being in school or having kids, so my only advice is stop caring. If they don't get it too bad.

My best friend, a few weeks ago, asked me "so you're like in actual nursing classes now?" I told her when I was applying, got my TEAS scores, and got my acceptance letter and so on. I wanted to hit her on the head when she said that, or just laugh. At my sister's graduation from law school the speaker said "Now friends and family you can finally understand why I had to ignore your phone calls or just couldn't make it to hang out ever. Now you can see why, because I finally made it here and am graduating." I thought how true.

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · Mar 5, 2011

My husband actually thought that I didn't realize how much time the program was going to take and how hard it was going to be. He had friends that have wives that are nurses and told him how much school took for them and all that. I haven't felt that it has been near the "heck" it was said it was going to be. But even though my husband kept trying to tell me how hard it was going to be, it didn't seem to matter when it came to helping :uhoh3:

2ndyearstudent, CNA · Mar 5, 2011

How can you convince your family, friends, significant others how much time and effort you have to spend to get through nursing school?

You can't.

KimberlyRN89, BSN, RN · Mar 5, 2011

wow....harder than mine. Mine's at 75!!!

Mine is 73 :crying2:

Emilynn09 · Mar 5, 2011

How can you convince your family, friends, significant others how much time and effort you have to spend to get through nursing school? How can you get them to give their support and make them understand why you can't always be available to them? What can you say? What can you show them? How can you convince them you are not just whining? Is there something your school could do or is doing to help?

My husband is easy. He sees that I am studying all the time and getting up with the chickens all the time to go to clinical and coming home dead tired. Usually, I just have him explain to family that I really am busy. For those that aren't willing to be supportive, I don't even bother. If they don't want to believe me, then that is their problem. Honestly.

nursing_girl1210 · Mar 9, 2011

We had family night at our school too right at the beginning of the semester. I think my mom tried to understand throughout the course of my time there but it was hard. However I can tell you my dad definitely did not get it until the day of the pinning ceremony when he heard the speeches made by our instructors and fellow students. It took THAT for him to get it. Afterwards he was like "wow you really had some hard times didn't you" haha sooo I guess everyone comes around at their own time!

Carrig RN · Mar 9, 2011

Our passing standard at my nursing school was 80. RIDICULOUSLY hard. Miraculously, as it was a second degree program, we had a really good retention rate, only losing about 20% of our class. In general, nursing school was exactly as difficult as I expected it to be. Time consuming, but doable if you accepted that and put in the time needed to master the basics. I had a very supportive fiance. He cooked dinner most nights and when he didn't we'd order out so I didn't have to bother with cooking. He accepted the fact that I would study on the couch while he watched TV. We just made sure that we spent time together even if we weren't doing the same thing. He was amazing. But he also completed his doctorate in physical therapy 4 years ago and has dealt with the time commitment. You can't really understand unless you are a health care professional and have completed a demanding college program.

Eaglelady · Mar 9, 2011

At the same time, don't let it consume your life. If it takes that much work, it's not the right career path. JMO, I know others would disagree.
Well I will be the one just because someone spends a lot of time studying
does not determine if they have chosen the right field or not maybe they are just more avid studiers--so yes I totally disagree. I studied for many many hours and I would not have any other field but nursing so I do not believe this is true

Pappilli0n · Mar 9, 2011

Saying that nursing school was hard is such a cliche! I remember I had such a thirst to learn every word in the books and every word that came out of my instructors' mouths. :nurse: Plus, I wanted a big old house in which to raise my family of three children.

meg2465 · Mar 9, 2011

Brava, Grey Lady. Not only are you helping your students, you are helping to improve the credibility of the profession. Nobody expects a law student or a medical student to work full time nights, take care of the kids, and put dinner on the table. I'd argue that a nursing student is just as busy, and just as stressed. And. . . just as deserving of support!