How to explain how hard you have to work in nursing school

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How can you convince your family, friends, significant others how much time and effort you have to spend to get through nursing school? How can you get them to give their support and make them understand why you can't always be available to them? What can you say? What can you show them? How can you convince them you are not just whining? Is there something your school could do or is doing to help?

My school sent a letter to my husband shortly before the first semester started. It talked about the commitment nursing school required and the long late hours that would be needed. It also thanked him in advance for being supportive and lowering the expectations at home.

No one truly understands what a nursing student goes through unless they have been in a similar program themselves. I'm a 26 yr old wife and mother. My sister is in an Art Education (to become an art teacher) program at a local state college and her fiance is doing prepreq's for the physical therapy program - he isn't in the program, just doing the prereq's. For some reason, everyone seems to think that because they (sister & fiance) are going to a large university, their programs must be more taxing and difficult, etc. I'm sure that the fiance's program will be more difficult once he starts the actual PT program, but I doubt it is now & I know her's isn't - I've asked them how many hours a week they're in class, studying, doing homework, etc. and it doesn't even come close to my schedule at all. My mom keeps saying, "I know that the nursing program is difficult and time consuming", but then she asks me to do something I don't have time for or wonders why I'm so busy all the time.

What I did, was I made a calendar on my computer of my schedule. At first, it was for myself to keep track of due dates, tests, readings, etc. But it actually worked to show what I actually do. I made sure to enter in EVERYTHING - class times, clinical times, homework due, test dates, study times, what needs read, etc. I actually had to have 2 different calendars - one for the schedule and one for homework, studying, tests, etc. I then emailed it to everyone with the note: "I may not be available to talk or hangout during these times. Please consult the schedule before getting upset when I'm unavailable". I stuck to it, too. Wouldn't even answer text messages during those times. It really hit home for some, for others not so much.

Getting people to help out around the house is another story. I've tried everything and apparently I'm the only one who cares about having a somewhat clean house. I even made a chore schedule, dividing chores as evenly as I could between my husband and I, but I did include homework and studying as part of my chores. It's gotten better, but not as good as I hoped. My husband is off every Wednesday, and I expect him to at least do SOMETHING that day - nothing huge, maybe clean up the kitchen or pick up clutter - something that makes the house look a little cleaner. I'm lucky if he takes out the trash - which has been piled so high above the can it resembles the leaning tower of pisa. I expect this behavior from my 3 yr old (who has her own small list of chores), but not a grown man. He has been known to "not notice" when the dog has an accident on the floor...just so he doesn't have to clean it up. I could deal with people acting like "college is college" if I could just get my husband to NOT be a pig.

My school has an orientation day for the family members (spouses/parents, etc) before the first semester of the nursing program, where they explain in a very matter of fact way how much work it is and how much support the student will need to get through. I think it's a wonderful idea and think every school should do it.

this is an excellent question.....i have given up on this tho. Once i know the truth i am good. Some people can be hard-headed when they are ready so i dont bother with them anymore...not intended to sound ignorant btw

Specializes in Critical Care, Postpartum.

They won't understand. I'm in an accelerated BSN and my mom and sister are the only ones that get it and that was due to family members, who are nurses, telling them that the traditional BSN is hard enough.

These programs need a "family and friends" night so they can get educated on what their loved ones will be going through in their nursing program. My program had that but took it away. However, we are in the process of trying to get that reinstated for the new cohorts. The students want their loved ones to understand.

Specializes in Student.

You all are addressing what I worry about Most - Not the classwork, not the clinicals, not the patients, But that my Husband won't step up and help out. In doing pre-reqs it always seems that when it was time to study for a Big Exam, there he was "needing" something, like maybe his socks! I don't know about anyone else, but soem days he seems helpless. It seems as soon as they see me it's Mom........

I plan on getting a cleaning lady - I have given ultimatums before - Do your part, or you will be paying for someone to do the work. I don't have anyone right now, but since i'm hopeing to beign Nursing School in the Fall,

it won't be long.

Even though I might seem crazy for complaining about a tropical vacation - when He schedules it in mid-semester I end up worrying the whole time, and studying on vacation. We were in Aruba, and and I got up

early every morining to Study.

I plan on enlisting my Mother in Law as much as I can - She is a big influence, as well as a help.

Where I feel guilty is my son - he is 10, and growing up fast, he's sweet now, and like to be with me, we do study side by side. But he will have some adjustment to do too.

You all are addressing what I worry about Most - Not the classwork, not the clinicals, not the patients, But that my Husband won't step up and help out. In doing pre-reqs it always seems that when it was time to study for a Big Exam, there he was "needing" something, like maybe his socks! I don't know about anyone else, but soem days he seems helpless. It seems as soon as they see me it's Mom........

I plan on getting a cleaning lady - I have given ultimatums before - Do your part, or you will be paying for someone to do the work. I don't have anyone right now, but since i'm hopeing to beign Nursing School in the Fall,

it won't be long.

Even though I might seem crazy for complaining about a tropical vacation - when He schedules it in mid-semester I end up worrying the whole time, and studying on vacation. We were in Aruba, and and I got up

early every morining to Study.

I plan on enlisting my Mother in Law as much as I can - She is a big influence, as well as a help.

Where I feel guilty is my son - he is 10, and growing up fast, he's sweet now, and like to be with me, we do study side by side. But he will have some adjustment to do too.

I sooooo understand where you are coming from. It took me failing Pathophysiology, for DH to understand that there was no way I could continue to pass while trying to study in the kitchen when all 3 kids had access to me, the TV was blaring etc. He finally broke down and remodeled our bathroom (that never got used) into a small study. I have everything I need to hermitize myself as needed to study. When Med-surg clinicals started, I stayed with another nursing student (I live 1 1/2 hours from campus), in order to maximize time to work. We belong to a car club & I haven't gone to an event in over a year, and he won't go with out me. He wants to have friends over or go to their house on the weekend and I have to study. It's not that he doesn't want me to succeed, but he doesn't always get that my one track mind only works w/ minimal distraction!

For those of you who are adult learners, you might want to check out the Association for Non-Traditional Higher education (ANTSHE) website. It gives tips on how to maximize study time. Also see if you have a non-trad program on campus that could give you tips on explaining to the family how it's going to be.

Keep on trucking guys, it will be doubly precious in the end when you finish in spite of all the distractions!:yeah:

RenSoul

Specializes in Student.

Even though I am frustrated by all of My Famalies "needs" I know they Love and really do support me, are proud of what I am doing.

When I graduate, the Diploma and the Achievement will belong to all of them, it will just have my name on it. Without their Love, Cheerleading and however misguided "Help" I would never have been able to do this - they have give up alot for me to go back to school.

Our local school does a family orientation night. They bring in a 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th semester student, along with their husbands/significant others and children. The student speaks, as does the family members, about how their lives change/have been affected. Having the significant others and family there is a great touch because it allows a husband to speak to a husband in a group and one on one if necessary.

kudos to all who do go for a nursing degree! it is a lot of hard work, i know - i am a recent graduate and i spent countless hours hovered over the books. i spent many hours reading and studying, as well as missing out on different family gatherings. you just have to sacrifice some family and friend time if you want to reap the reward of being a nurse at the end. believe me, there are a few classmates that have made it through the program somehow (by the skin of their teeth) by not reading and studying, but when it came down to the boards they haven't been able to pass them.

I would start out by showing them my scheduling and telling them, "these are the days, and hours, of the week that I am in class. These are the days, and hours, of the week that I am in lab, and these are the days, and hours, of the week that I have clinicals." Next, I would describe all of the things that you are expected to do during clinical (such as IV starts, NG tubes, administering medications, etc). Then I would tell them about all the reading, papers, tests, quizzes, and exams that I had to do each week. I would show them the notes I took in class, previous papers I had written, and graded tests, if I had any in my possession. I would tell them how many hours per week I spent in class, in clinical, or in lab, and how many hours I spent studying, writing papers, or reading material. Then I would tell them, in the nicest way possible, that they hadn't had any experience with nursing school and that they needed to realize that they didn't know what I was going through. I don't think there's a way for someone who has never experienced it to truly and fully understand just how grueling it is. People might say that they get it, but they will never really grasp the full scope of nursing school unless they've done it themselves.

You can't change people. Nobody will ever REALLY get what we are going through. That's why I love my nursing school classmates so much. They're the only ones that truly get it. My husband is very understanding and so are my parents, but I do feel like they think I am dramatic. Believe me, there are others in my class who really stress. I am usually a pretty laid back person, so I think they know it must be pretty time consuming. Just let go trying to convince everyone that it's hard and time consuming. You just have to learn to say no to a lot of events. it's hard, but I just say no to pretty much everything now. Looking forward to summer.

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