How to deal with unsupportive people.

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I am 24 years old. I have beautiful 7 year old son and I live with my parents, and well My mother tells me every chance she gets she doen't think I should be a nurse it's too hard, I might stuck and get aids or everything else she can think of so I won't want to become a nurse. The thing is she has no G.E.D no formal education and both my sisters are moved out the house so in a way I feel she is living the life she never had throught what do I do?

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You will just have to learn to listen to what she has to say, be polite, but go ahead and do what you want to do with your life. I can assure you from personal experience, doing what your parents want just to please them, will not work in the end. Better to deal with a certain amount of unpleasantries now, than to deal with a lifetime of self regret.

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That's true.

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Yeah you might also get struck by lightning, or hit by a car. Having a kid is hard too, maybe you should just give that up. When she starts throwing stupid hypotheticals at you give some back to her.

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Specializes in CNA.

I wouldn't say anything back to her and just show her what you can do..then watch her be speechless.

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Before I started the LPN program a few of my family members doubted me...... Didn't think I could make it, and it gave me more motivation to graduate, pass my boards and get a job... Use the negative energy as a motivator to prove her wrong...

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Only you can live your life. If this is what you want to do go for it. There's a quote that I live by and it says, "Don't let negative people determine your level of success." You can think about all the what-ifs but there are risks in everyday life but that doesn't mean we need to limit ourselves, so I say follow your dreams and pursue nursing.

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even though your mother is unsupportive and brings you down, the only thing you can do is take her negativity and turn it into motivation in proving her wrong, sooner or later she will realize your courage and motivation in what you love and will hopefully respect you and be proud of you. also you’re making a career not just for yourself, but for your 7 year old son who would probably wants to see you succeed since you will be guiding his future. it’s hard to feel no support from family, but just keep your head up and move forward, your strength from this situation will help you in life.

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I wouldn't say anything back to her and just show her what you can do..then watch her be speechless.

I agree with this totally. Only your actions can show her that she is...umm...misguided in her attitude. You may also want to find a way to let her know that yes, you respect her thoughts and that you appreciate her concern, but that right now you are doing something for you and your children and that support is what you need. My mom is quite like yours, always looks to the negative, and I have to handle her with "kid gloves" and explain that even if she had to fake it a little, I needed her support and that if something bad DID happen, she could do the "I told you so" dance for a year!

Good luck to you!

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Specializes in CNA.

Plus I sense a little jealousy here..she may be intimidated by what you are doing..I know sounds crazy but people that didn't get a career have been known to do that. But always know she is your mother and regardless, she does love you. Just keep marching on.

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Specializes in Psych ICU, addictions.
Plus I sense a little jealousy here..she may be intimidated by what you are doing..I know sounds crazy but people that didn't get a career have been known to do that. But always know she is your mother and regardless, she does love you. Just keep marching on.

That's not uncommon...their mentality is that "if I'm not happy, you shouldn't be." Or "if I didn't do that, you shouldn't either."

Remember that you need to live YOUR life, not hers. Just tune the negativity out, look for support in other places (other family, friends, etc.) and work on your dreams.

Best of luck!

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Specializes in Trauma, ER, ICU, CCU, PACU, GI, Cardiology, OR.

needless to say, you will always find people willing to give you their perspective on any given decision that you might decide regarding your future career. having said that, your mother is just looking for your best interest at heart, however, you need to listen to your own goals and make them a reality. on the other hand, i ponder on the idea if you ever considered volunteering at your neighborhood facility in order to see if nursing is really the path for you. at this level, this would exposed you to nursing and offer you the assertiveness that you seek on your future career goal. with that said, if nursing is your truly desire by all means don't let anyone overshadow your dream. lastly, give yourself the opportunity to soar in any given choice that you take in life, but do it for yourself and your lovely child. wishing you the very best in all of your future endeavors....aloha~

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