How to deal with unsupportive people.

Nursing Students Pre-Nursing

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I am 24 years old. I have beautiful 7 year old son and I live with my parents, and well My mother tells me every chance she gets she doen't think I should be a nurse it's too hard, I might stuck and get aids or everything else she can think of so I won't want to become a nurse. The thing is she has no G.E.D no formal education and both my sisters are moved out the house so in a way I feel she is living the life she never had throught what do I do?

You could actually inspire her to go back to school. It's never too late!!

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Specializes in Psych & Gero psych.

One of the women in my nursing class had a sister who told her, she wasn't smart enough to be a nurse. She just wanted to prove her wrong, her motivation to make it.

Just remember people rarely regret what they do, but what they didn't do...

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This sounds a tad bit like my mother. Although she says she's "proud of me", it's right after she's gone on and on about how everyone she knows who has gone to nursing school has dropped/failed out, how incredibly hard it is and "if" I make it...yada yada yada. She has gone as far as repeating comments made by family members about how they don't think I will really be able to do it. First of all, I don't think these family members would have said this to her and, second of all, why would she repeat that? She has a real passive aggressive way of "supporting" me.

Anyway, my point being, I don't need her support. My husband and my children are wonderful support. All the nay-sayers out there are gonna eat my dust when I graduate and it will make it that much sweeter. As far as my mom goes, I know where it's coming from. She's jealous and even though she would never admit it, it drives her crazy that at 31 I'm more successful then she is at 56. But that stems from my moms own personal issues, not me. So don't take it personal and keep on truckin. You have a child who looks up to you and your making a success of yourself is a great example for him. My 7 year old son loves seeing what I'm studying. His Grandma (my MIL) has told me how he tells everyone how "smart" his mommy is. That makes me feel like a million bucks and makes up for any negative comments anyone has to say.

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Yeah I really don't know exactly what it is about nursing in particular that evokes such reactions in loved ones??? Nursing was one of my top choices but I wasn't sure. Whenever I'd discuss my anxieties about nursing some friends pour fuel on the fire where others are very reassuring! Some people are just intimidated I think, for multiple different reasons. It does help with motivation though! I had a nay-saying friend that tried to make me feel like I wasn't smart enough for college period (since I had never attended prior). I'm only into my 2nd semester but I have a 4.0, na-na na-na poo-poo and I'm determined to keep it that way!

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My husband's family in so many words told me that I wasn't smart enough to become a nurse and especially since I have three children and I am a stay at home mom they just scoffed at the idea. I just finished my first semester of pre-req's with a 4.0. Don't let negative comments derail you from what you are passionate about. Stay focused on what you are called to do and you will succeed :)

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My mom's mom (my grandma) told her back in high school that she wasn't smart enough to become a nurse. She needed up not going on to college. Now she is a CNA, and I really think she regrets listening to her mom and not going to college. She's been looking into furthering her career but she also feels stuck at her age and the cost of school.

Like everyone else has said, prove her wrong and take her negativity and use it as motivation. You can do anything you work hard for.

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Honey I'm 21 and I've suffered emotional abuse from my bipolar mother and my grandparents... trust me you got it good. i have it way worse...

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Thats sad real mothers can't be supportive of their daughters just because their life was horrible. lets uplift our daughters.. i wish i even had a real mother in my life but she suffers from mental depression so i stay far away from her hi's and lows..and just motivate myself, and keep going...

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Thank you all for the advice and support

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My mom was at first totally unsupportive of my decision to enter nursing. Being supportive is not her strong suit, but I was still shocked that she didn't think it was a good idea and would go silent when I talked about it.

But I continued on my plan, making specific goals, taking classes, touring colleges, and getting support from other family members including my aunt who is also a nurse (and my mom's best friend). Within months my mom was on board.

Just keep moving forward with your plans and prove her wrong... that is, if she doesn't jump on board before you have the chance!!!

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As an aside, I'd like to just mention that my aunt, who is a nurse, is so supportive about me going into nursing... but not in an overexcited, celebratory type of way.

She treats it as a totally natural, normal and competant next step and when we discuss anything nursing-related she just brushes off all my concerns with "oh, don't worry... you're smart, you'll do fine!"

Thanks to her support I rarely worry about any of my nursing school concerns and am just plowing ahead!

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Specializes in Critical Care, Med-Surg, Psych, Geri, LTC, Tele,.

My mom was also a little unsupportive of my desire to become a nurse. She kept asking me, are you sure you want to do this? What about X, Y or Z job? I was 29 and married and had been living on my own for 14 years when I started taking prereqs 2+ years ago.

I ended up realizing that her negativity was based on of her concern for me. She was worried that the work might be backbreaking and she was concerned that I was taking a low level, subordinate, position.

My mom and I don't always see eye to eye and used to have a very tumultuous relationship. So I always just smiled and said it's ok.

She still makes little comments about it being cute that I want to become a nurse. It's cute to her that I want to get good grades. Nothing I say to her can convince her of my need to have a competitive GPA in order to get into nursing school.

While her demeaning comments kind of make me angry, I just keep smiling. And keep it pushing.

Maybe try talking to people who are supportive. My dad has always supported my desire to become a nurse. He has a a hard working type of personality and wants me to have a good career that pays well. He and my step mom totally have my back.

If you are asking for help from your mom, then she will feel a right to stick her nose in your business. If you have to live at home with her, then that might be a little more difficult. Practice being diplomatic and keeping your nose to the grind.

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