How to deal with stereotypes and vicious people

enuf_already · Jun 22, 2015

You can't fix stupid. What her dad said to you was not nice, but trying to argue with him, I'm afraid, would have been futile.

As a male in a predominantly female profession, you are going to get all sorts of comments about being a nurse. Even females still get the stereotypical comments--after all, we only went into nursing to marry a doctor ðŸ˜.

You have several options. Either ignore the comments or have a witty comeback.

Keep your eye on the prize. Work hard in school and get your degree. Don't judge your classmate by her father's comments. You've worked too hard to let one comment upset you. Good luck to you!

mrsboots87 · Jun 22, 2015

Haters gonna hate. He sound like the same type of guy who is probably a pervy patient or just doesn't know all that being a nurse entails. You have just as much a right to have a passion for nursing as us females do. You keep on doing you and working hard. The people in your life who are worth caring about will be supportive of your goal. The winds are changing and more men are entering nursing. I see a handful of male nurses at each clinical and when I volunteered in an ER saw almost 50% males. You won't be such an "oddity" for too much longer.

juju0889 · Jun 22, 2015

Keep going for you dreams. Keep God first and he'll get you thereðŸ˜ŠðŸ˜ŠðŸ˜Š

amoLucia · Jun 22, 2015

You need to do some research so as to be able to provide a CALM response that reflects that 'the times, they are a changin' for men in nursing'.

There are statistics out there reflecting that the number of men in nursing now represents a significant increasing presence. They freq achieve higher educational degrees and administrative career opportunities more than their female peers. And they do it sooner.

I also believe that they are compensated better as well. I attribute this to education & experience, assertiveness and negotiation skills.

At about 10 years post-high school, I would postulate that a male RN (I sooo hate that term!) is prob well on his way to a stable well-paid career position that is likely more satisfying than the multi-stressful bedside nurse position. And better off than his high school peers

With a well-prepared, verifiable response that is CALMLY explained to the nay-sayers, your comments may well 'stop them in their tracks'. They are mis-informed and behind the times; you know that! You're already ahead of them. Just be COOL with your knowledgeable statistics in your response and just ignore the low-shots.

jojo489 · Jun 22, 2015

I would absolutely love to see more men in this field. Selfishly, because I seem to get along with men better in general.

We had one guy in my nursing program...it was his second career and he was in his 50's. All of us girls were extremely helpful and supportive of him. He and I ended up working in the same place by chance, and even the staff and supervisors there were very willing to help and supported him. He had very few problems with patients (we worked LTC) and did very well for himself.

You might be surprised how many more people are welcoming to men in this field than those who hold ignorant opinions.

Do what you're passionate about...and as hard as it is, don't worry what people say. You are the one who looks at yourself in the mirror every day, not anyone else. You're responsible for your own happiness. Go for it. :)

HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD · Jun 22, 2015

LOL - I feel the need to apologize for all the old f**ts who are stuck in their 'glory days'. They are too deluded to realize that the world has moved on and left them behind. You don't owe anyone an explanation of your career choice - unless of course, they are going to provide you with some funding.

windsurfer8, BSN, RN · Jun 22, 2015

So one person says something you that you don't like and you say "I don't know why so many people feel a need to put us down". You need to study REALLY hard in your pre reqs and in nursing school and learn how to analyze in a way that doesn't stereotype. You have an example of one person and that becomes "so many". Also why do you need to be in constant communication with your parents? If you can't handle being on your own move home to your parents. If "so many" people tell you only weirdos are nurses then "so many" people will when you go home to mommys house.

You want "kind" and "appropriate" responses. Once again..totally subjective. What is "appropriate" to you may not be to someone else. Study HARD in your research class (if you are going for a BSN). What if a "kind" response is not the most effective or appropriate response? Why do you seek validation for feeling sorry for yourself?

Developing effective coping skills is vital for life. When things don't go the way you like you need to be able to adapt and carry on. I GUARANTEE you will have other nurses and doctors at times be rude or short with you. It happens...people are tired and stressed in hospitals. Are you just going to quit when that happens?

Just because someone says something you don't like it isn't "hatred" as you state. He may be just stating things how he views it. He may be wrong, but it is what he thinks. It doesn't make it reality.

Good luck man.

nurse2033, MSN, RN · Jun 23, 2015

This must be a young man's problem because no one has ever made a statement like that to me. You could have said A. times have changed, B. I'm not gay so I guess that doesn't apply, or C. Sorry you missed such a great opportunity. When people asks me about nursing I say I love serving my community, helping people when they are down, and saving a life is a hoot! You need to be 100% non apologetic. Take every opportunity to tell people with confidence, "I'm a nurse!". Don't explain or elaborate. And, don't confuse caring for people with manly endeavors, they are just different sides of you. For example, fathers provide caring for their kids, just with a different flavor from Mom. It is not better or worse. Good luck!

Mavrick, BSN, RN · Jun 23, 2015

It's clear to me Dinosaur Dad has no interest in learning anything from you or any other man in nursing. So a quote of statistics or logic will be ignored or completely misinterpreted. You have encountered a bigot on his home turf. Back away slowly and latch the gate on your way out.

Dad's intent was to say something awkward and humiliate you in front of your friend. I doubt Dad would "get" a witty response and to escalate the hostility is defeating to the friendship. If your friend offered an apology for her Dad, graciously accept it, and move forward to your goal. As said, "Keep your eye on the prize". You don't need to explain why nursing is such a great career choice. Though here is a link to why many nurses find satisfaction in their career. https://allnurses.com/general-nursing-discussion/nurse-retention-978648-page2.html#post8396508

Now to add my comments on the more disturbing part of your post. " Please once again kind and appropriate responses are much welcomed, and its hard to put yourself out there like this to strangers, please please please.. if you have nothing nice to say refrain from commenting on this thread."

This is NOT a private therapy session for emotional counseling. Though I don't think you have to attest that you are over the age of 21 to enter here, it is implied that you are an adult and capable of conducting intelligent discourse on a public forum.

windsurfer has some great comments: "You want "kind" and "appropriate" responses. Once again..totally subjective. What is "appropriate" to you may not be to someone else. ...... What if a "kind" response is not the most effective or appropriate response? Why do you seek validation for feeling sorry for yourself?

Developing effective coping skills is vital for life. When things don't go the way you like you need to be able to adapt and carry on. I GUARANTEE you will have other nurses and doctors at times be rude or short with you. It happens...people are tired and stressed in hospitals. Are you just going to quit when that happens?"

You must prepare for a career where you are a minority in a non-traditional role. Times are changing, from near 3% men when I started nursing to closer to 10% now. Thirty years from now, who knows?

Dranger · Jun 25, 2015

I would just laugh, chances are you will make $$$ then him within your first few years of graduation.

In my life I have had ONE girl knock on me for being a nurse (drunk girl in a bar) and I had a pretty quick retort that shut her down fast. Other than that I have had nothing but support.

MKIVSupraRN · Jun 25, 2015

Dinosaur Dad

Well said, explains precisely why he asked you about going into nursing. He's living the life of Fred Flintstone. I'm actually curious to know if he even knows what a computer is, you should ask him next time you talk to him.

Individuals like this exist all over, especially in the geriatrics population. A friend of mine, her grandfather who is 90 y.o, thought that nurses don't do anything except bring you water when you ask for it and wipe peoples rear end all day. When he told me

"oh you're a nurse, so you just clean up poop and bring people water for a living?" I just chuckled and said, "precisely" :)