I am a 19 yo male student in a pre-licensure program completing the last of my pre-reqs. The way it works at my school is that after you complete the pre reqs you get your student nurse title and start clinicals the following year. So many of my classmates have not been succesful, and I am just one test from getting my letter in the mail after taking a summer class. I guess I just need some motivation and input on this situation. I went to dinner with a female friend who I go to school with tonight who I just happen to like. I have been after this goal of getting into nursing school after my grandma died in my sophomore year of high school and my academic record was atrocious. A long story made short I have been working feverishly to prove myself to have the motivation brains and smarts to accomplish this goal that I have had for four years now. At dinner tonight her dad asked me why does a guy like you want to go into nursing in my day only **** and weirdos go into nursing. I don't understand why so many people feel a need to put us down for our goal which I am not afraid to bleed sweat and even cry for this goal. I am having no doubts of my decision to become a nurse, cause it is my dream my passion and something that I am going to make happen. I guess I just need some kind words of motivation to help me get through this week. I am over 1,000 miles from home and communication of such hatred to my parents is so difficult to my parents who are completely supportive of this goal. How have you guys dealt with the laughter behind your back, and other mean jokes?
** Please once again kind and appropriate responses are much welcomed, and its hard to put yourself out there like this to strangers, please please please.. if you have nothing nice to say refrain from commenting on this thread.
Also, I do not have an inbox yet, thank you in advance!
Don't let it bug you. As a male entering my senior year of a nursing BSN, and 57 years old to boot, I have received encouragement from complete strangers a hundred times for each negative comment. Actually, I can think of only 1 or 2 negative comments at all. The patients, employers, my wife, and practicing nurses have been universally supportive. Who you are is defined by what you do; male, female, gay, straight, young, or old do not matter in the least. Just put on your game face and go for it.
Hey from your post, you sound like a great guy. Don't let the negative comments get in your head. Everything will be alright the moment you get that RN title in your name, and your patients just wants you to be their nurse because of how great you are. Keep doing your thing, God bless you.
Ignore the ignorant man. Keep your eye on the prize, and do not let what anyone thinks about you dictate the way you feel about yourself. You want to be a nurse…go be one, and anyone who doesn't get it, well, that's their problem.
It can be surprising and hurtful when people say stuff like that, but you have to realize it says more about him than it does about you.
Same goes for people who offer the "grow a thicker skin" attitude when you clearly are asking for support. I know it would be preferable to have the girlfriend's father be supportive, but what I think this says is he is lacking in the ability to do that. People who take that stance are generally still sore from whatever boot in the butt elevated them into adulthood (in their way of thinking that's how it works).
I am always glad to see guys entering the profession. Individuals all have something different to offer; if we were to exclude males, we'd be missing out on many great nurses. The drive you show to do what you need to do academically is great. I am also a student. I can't tell you how many people I see limping along, doing what they need to do to pass but not much more. As technical as this profession is, we need people male and female who are interested in doing their best work for the benefit of patients.
You are smart to seek out positive people who can support your interest in this. Age does make ignoring the rest easier. The "skin will grow thicker" (as in not caring what people think).
At my facility, we have more male nurses than female nurses! Maybe it is this geographical region, but I might venture to say that I personally know more male than female nurses! We currently have a group of 6 LPN students rotating through our unit and 3 of them are males. "Dinosaur Dad" needs to realize that this is 2015! Keep up the good work, keep your eye on the prize, and don't give this guy's opinion a second thought!
I'm not a guy, so can't speak to how I've dealt with comments like those. If you wanted to respond, I'd keep it short and light (you wouldn't have wanted your friend to be uncomfortable, right?) Maybe something like, "in my day, straight and bland guys go into nursing too" (to contrast with his "**** & weirdos" comment.) Or "hey, this guy will have job security!" Say it with a smile--you'll project confidence, and at the same time seem friendly, not merely argumentative. Then change the subject.
In my experience, critical care and emergency areas are less female dominated. At least 1/3, possibly closer to 1/2 of my current colleagues have Y chromosomes. But if you want to work in oncology or NICU or hospice, that's great too! Men get cancer, critically ill newborns have dads. Your presence might be just what they need. More women than ever are entering professions that are historically male dominated. Just like they can be confident in their decision, you can be in yours.
Now about that thicker skin that previous posters have said you need. This is a sincere suggestion--not an effort to tear you down. This profession will eat you alive if you allow yourself to be hurt so easily. You will deal with stressed out pts and families, you will see things that are heartbreaking, you will meet the jerks that every profession has. You can't let adversity have so much power over you. Keep your head up, and push forward!
I work in a male dominated area of nursing, a majority of my colleagues are former military, corrections and law enforcement. Their nationalities range from Chicano to Asian American. I've worked with immigrants from Russia, Africa, and the Philippines. They are straight, bi, and gay. My nursing preceptor/mentor/nurse I want to be when I grow up - is a straight African American male that immigrated to the US from Nigeria. My Nurse manager is a young guy that deactivated IUD's in the Marine Corps. The nurse that would float to my unit while one of my staff was on maternity leave was Asian American and former LAPD. It's 2015. Women can become engineers. Men can become nurses. And anyone who has a career they enjoy and can find employment is lucky. Diversity is a great thing. It sounds like that guy is rather ignorant and has been living under a rock for a long time.
Ignoring the ignorant father thing. I asked a nurse buddy for any advise he had for me before entering nursing school. His #1 piece of advice was don't date classmates. After spending the last 2 years with the same group of people I totally get it. You have thousands of girls at your school. There are guna be 30 or 40 that are 100% off limits! Deal with it, you'll thank me later.
LOL - I feel the need to apologize for all the old f**ts who are stuck in their 'glory days'. They are too deluded to realize that the world has moved on and left them behind. You don't owe anyone an explanation of your career choice - unless of course, they are going to provide you with some funding.
I was going to give you a answer about this until I read the bottom of your post where you only want certain responses. That drives me absolutely crazy. You are on an anonymous forum with lots of people from all over the world. You cannot dictate what you want in responses. People are allowed to reply the way they see fit. It's called freedom of speech.
I was going to give you a answer about this until I read the bottom of your post where you only want certain responses. That drives me absolutely crazy. You are on an anonymous forum with lots of people from all over the world. You cannot dictate what you want in responses. People are allowed to reply the way they see fit. It's called freedom of speech.
I agree with Heathermaizey about the "only want certain responses, only supportive please, I'm too vulnerable to handle anything else now" thing. Nope, we're all professionals or aspiring professionals here, and this sort of weakness and anticipatory victimhood is unbecoming. Nope, you don't need to be that way if you're older than middle school. And since you're such a good, expressive writer you're more mature than that.
That said, Dino Dad probably was trying to look big and strong to his daughter, who probably cringed at his attitude; you're going to have to expect crapola like this from some folks and have a response that feels comfortable to you when you hear it whether it's a surprise or not; and you are, in fact, going to get a thicker skin as you get older no matter what profession you're in as you get more secure in the role.
You've got some great script lines in this thread. Try 'em out and see how they work for you. Learn to say them with a huge smile-- bullies hate that. And as Crash Davis said to the batter after he told him what pitch was coming from the intransigent Nuke LaLouche, "Speak kindly of us" for the favor.
There isn't anything gay about 54$ an hour. That's what new graduate RNs make in the Bay Area. Tell him that. I have had that generation of males tell me that too, I'm 25, been in nursing 3 years now. Back then it was a lot weirder for men to do nursing. Anyways. That has changed now. Plus women love male RNs. That's all that really matters! Who cares about the old farts. Go get it dude. Good luck.
But if you want to work in oncology or NICU or hospice, that's great too! Men get cancer, critically ill newborns have dads. Your presence might be just what they need. More women than ever are entering professions that are historically male dominated. Just like they can be confident in their decision, you can be in yours.
Brian57
11 Posts
Don't let it bug you. As a male entering my senior year of a nursing BSN, and 57 years old to boot, I have received encouragement from complete strangers a hundred times for each negative comment. Actually, I can think of only 1 or 2 negative comments at all. The patients, employers, my wife, and practicing nurses have been universally supportive. Who you are is defined by what you do; male, female, gay, straight, young, or old do not matter in the least. Just put on your game face and go for it.