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trudeyRN

trudeyRN

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trudeyRN's Latest Activity

  1. trudeyRN

    Should Our Study Group Allow a Failing Student to Join?

    I'm all for collaboration and helping those who help themselves. Doing both elevates the profession: collaborate rather than competitive, a hand up for the person who does take the initiative to get it together to become competent is fine. Even with patients, though, we never want to enable (and that can be a fine line that's hard to see). Enabling leads to reduced functioning, in patients and in nursing students- not the end we want to work toward. I would not consider it kind, helpful or good for the profession to carry someone who's just plain not taking initiative. Someone on this thread said "you can't carry her through NCLEX", and I think that's probably true. What if on some outside chance your group actually achieved that somehow? She got through on your good graces-what then? My guess is a person who is in the habit of not taking care of the details and not showing up on time is not going to be good for patient care. If, as some are suggesting, she would use help to develop better habits/work ethics, then it could work. Another way to think of it, day to day it can feel like we are just trying to make it through (the next test, graduation, NCLEX), but you are also trying to develop yourselves as the best nurses you can be. Preserving that is also "right" because it works in favor of patient care. Offering a hand to other students has to be balanced with learning as much as you can while you are in school.
  2. I can see this coming down the pike: me getting branded as not social. In truth, the stimulation of hospital cafeterias during meal times does me in. I like small scale socialization. Should probably do some more "exposure therapy" to the feeding frenzy so I don't get designated as odd girl out (after graduation). Oh heck, who am I kidding...
  3. trudeyRN

    New Nurse on Paxil

    I've only ever been given ativan for rest prior to surgery. I didn't take it since I hate not being "with it". As for anesthesiology, no I didn't "bite the bullet", but I have to confess being put under was one of my big anxieties about that procedure. Yup, guess I am a tightly wound control freak. My motto has always been "be alert, the world needs more lerts". Seriously, when anxiety is an impediment, it can make sense to work with a doctor because some people can be helped by medication. Can mean the difference between functioning and not.
  4. trudeyRN

    Nursing with a hearing loss: Yes you can!

    Trying to learn auscultation, I assumed I might have a hearing impairment I hadn't known about before nursing school. I was immediately panicked that I might not be able to perform (if nothing else, a nurse must be capable of assessment). My instructor borrowed a steth with electronic amplification. To my surprise, this was much worse! Turns out my hearing is a little too good, and blocking external ambient noise was the issue (corrected by better ear pieces). So for a brief time I worried about this. I'm glad you are addressing it because it occurs to me there could be many excellent nurses/aspiring nurses who need this to achieve their potential. Also- shout out for neurodiversity . I'm a former teacher of students on the spectrum. As a group and as individuals, I really appreciated their take on things.
  5. trudeyRN

    9 Tips for New Operating Room Nurses

    Still a student and have not chosen a focus area yet, but have loved all my OR observation experiences. OR nurses as a group seem to be excellent teachers. Thank you for these tips
  6. trudeyRN

    New Nurse on Paxil

    I think the take home from all of this could be "individual results may vary". Work with your doc to figure out what does. I can really understand though the desire to bounce this off others, not for medical advice (as we are all required not to be giving, and people seem not to be doing that), but just to know other peoples' personal experiences. And toward the goal of not stigmatizing people who get treated for mental illness, this helps that people are willing to share. I have dealt with anxiety but not to the degree where I sought treatment. "Round 2" of the ADN program coming up, so you never know , I could be right there with you
  7. trudeyRN

    Why is it inappropriate to stand up for yourself?

    It is not inappropriate to stand up for yourself, but how you do that can determine whether you achieve your desired goal (respect). It's possible that many peoples' first gut reaction might be to want to take the guy down a peg. And it may have felt momentarily gratifying to say/ do what you did. In the long run I think the people who are suggesting to give a blank and non-flinching stare, lowering your voice, stating your refusal to be spoken to that way in a calm, no nonsense tone, or simply walking away from the rant could have been much more effective. Telling him his behavior (yelling-which is obviously unprofessional) was not professional is stating the obvious. Let his behavior state that, you don't need to join him in the mud. I very much agree that in cases of disrespectful behavior you should stand up for yourself. I'm just going to put out there, in cases where I feel moved to yelling over someone (has happened in other settings, not work) I tend to sound less in control and I'm sure I get less respect when I let that fly. The more control you have of your own responses the more power you have in that situation.
  8. trudeyRN

    Nurses- medical provider needs your opinion!

    This reflects what pretty much everyone has already said, but when I read "mundane questions" and "lack critical thinking" my first thought was they are probably nurses with a healthy respect of scope of practice and and a smart inclination to protect their license. They have thought critically know what is required next is doctor's orders (even as they possibly know what the solution will be).
  9. trudeyRN

    How to deal with stereotypes and vicious people

    It can be surprising and hurtful when people say stuff like that, but you have to realize it says more about him than it does about you. Same goes for people who offer the "grow a thicker skin" attitude when you clearly are asking for support. I know it would be preferable to have the girlfriend's father be supportive, but what I think this says is he is lacking in the ability to do that. People who take that stance are generally still sore from whatever boot in the butt elevated them into adulthood (in their way of thinking that's how it works). I am always glad to see guys entering the profession. Individuals all have something different to offer; if we were to exclude males, we'd be missing out on many great nurses. The drive you show to do what you need to do academically is great. I am also a student. I can't tell you how many people I see limping along, doing what they need to do to pass but not much more. As technical as this profession is, we need people male and female who are interested in doing their best work for the benefit of patients. You are smart to seek out positive people who can support your interest in this. Age does make ignoring the rest easier. The "skin will grow thicker" (as in not caring what people think).
  10. trudeyRN

    Nursing Student Doubts

    I feel like I'm in the same place. I know you are looking for people who have longer perspective who can tell you this is normal and you will get there. I will start my third semester this fall, so I don't have a work history to base this on. I too think if one patient is this hard, how will I ever handle 4, 6 (or whatever the ratio happens to be)? And charting, it is unnerving. Smart to know it has implications beyond just typing and checking off boxes. I look forward to the day when I can do that with less hesitancy. I get the impression this is very normal. Feeling dumb becomes the norm, even the grading system (much different from the prereq grades, right?) seems stacked against us feeling smart. The purpose of that (as near as I can tell) is as much as you do know and as hard as you work, there is always more you could know. We will get to a place where we aren't doubting our every move, but if you read through the threads, people are considered a "new nurse" for a long time. And every time you change jobs, you are "new" (read: have the chance to feel dumb again). It doesn't mean you aren't where you are supposed to be (as in academically or as a choice of career). What it means to me is there is always a lot more you can know. I think the trick is to get comfortable with not knowing everything and realizing you are learning more than you think. Experience will help, but there is always the chance to learn more. I would be more worried about you if you said you never felt dumb and had all the answers :)
  11. We are often held to higher standards for all of this since we are "on someone else's turf". As others have said, uniform/appearance (which was discussed well in advance) is a really basic thing. If the site has grounds to complain about appearance (which these higher standards are intended to prevent), they may never get to the larger issue which is can this person follow other rules of the agency and can they be expected to adhere to other appropriate actions in their practice as a student who later hopes to be a nurse. In our area the number of sending schools compared to the number of sites that accept students necessitates sending in people who don't create unnecessary problems such as the deviation from agency dress standards that would no doubt occur if school standards were not upheld. Like it or not, in that uniform your appearance represents the larger group, not just individuals.
  12. trudeyRN

    No Patient Should Ever Feel Embarrassed

    I like that you could give unconditional positive regard to the patient while you eventually were able to give some benefit of the doubt to the daughter. As several have pointed out, we really don't know the whole story. It could be something as simple as a father's refusal to let "his girl" take care of him as though he were a child (though everyone in the situation can see that he needs help). Could be he was self possessed before his health was in decline, and this has not changed even though now it would be age-appropriate for him to accept help with ADLs.
  13. trudeyRN

    How involved to get when family is ill

    Oh, duh. As I re-read, I see that the lines you need to draw are concerning your profession and how you relate to family members (as opposed to a long standing tradition of you bailing everyone else out-which is my problem). People relating to you as a nurse first instead of who you are to them- a family member. Sorry to have dragged it off topic. It may be hard to find the threads that apply to your situation specifically, but I did find when I looked that there are a lot of topics spread around the site that deal with people handling issues with their families. I hope that helps.
  14. trudeyRN

    How involved to get when family is ill

    I wish I had more to give you other than to say I'm right there with you. My family of origin sounds similar- in this case me, mom and brother- I am the only "rational expression" of the family gene pool". I too keep my distance because since I am the one who functions, everyone would all too happily dump the entire mess on me. Some relatives now are starting to see how that works (they over-rely on them, anyone who doesn't say "No"). I literally only get a call when she needs something. Whatever I do, I do it because it feels "right" by my own personal standards. "Doing the right thing" over the years has been completely twisted to "you do our bidding; you get no gratitude, kindness or decent behavior for doing that; this is your duty for being born into this family (mess)"- I have finally had to really set limits. The hard part is other people outside the situation (who don't know the dynamic) will judge my actions based on how people behave in more functional families. "But they are family" is often lobbed at me, by people who just don't get why I have to set limits. People who throw that at me are usually people who grew up with supportive (not perfect mind you, but at least supportive) families and can't imagine not doing everything they could to help out. I think for me (and maybe you too), the key feature is things were never balanced and always tipped to other peoples' favor. We have to be the judge of what is "right" for our own actions, because the world as a whole isn't going to understand where we are coming from. Letting yourself be used up or walked over may be what people want, but ultimately is not in their best interest because that isn't how healthy relationships work. I wish I'd been drawing that line in the sand a lot sooner, but as anyone growing up in a highly dysfunctional family knows, the world isn't there to support you because you have been well trained not to let people know (as a kid) what your life at home is like. I'm sorry if this takes it off into a tangent that may not apply to your situation. I just picked up on the boundary situation and this is how it plays out with us. Good luck. I'd like to see if any others have ideas about how to deal with this. I have done other searches on here about "family issues" and there are posts here and there that might help you also.
  15. trudeyRN

    How involved to get when family is ill

    I wish I had more to give you other than to say I'm right there with you. My family of origin sounds similar- in this case me, mom and brother- I am the only "rational expression" of the family gene pool". I too keep my distance because since I am the one who functions, everyone would all too happily dump the entire mess on me. Some relatives now are starting to see how that works (they over-rely on them, anyone who doesn't say "No"). I literally only get a call when she needs something. Whatever I do, I do it because it feels "right" by my own personal standards. "Doing the right thing" over the years has been completely twisted to "you do our bidding; you get no gratitude, kindness or decent behavior for doing that; this is your duty for being born into this family (mess)"- I have finally had to really set limits. The hard part is other people outside the situation (who don't know the dynamic) will judge my actions based on how people behave in more functional families. "But they are family" is often lobbed at me, by people who just don't get why I have to set limits. People who throw that at me are usually people who grew up with supportive (not perfect mind you, but at least supportive) families and can't imagine not doing everything they could to help out. I think for me (and maybe you too), the key feature is things were never balanced and always tipped to other peoples' favor. We have to be the judge of what is "right" for our own actions, because the world as a whole isn't going to understand where we are coming from. Letting yourself be used up or walked over may be what people want, but ultimately is not in their best interest because that isn't how healthy relationships work. I wish I'd been drawing that line in the sand a lot sooner, but as anyone growing up in a highly dysfunctional family knows, the world isn't there to support you because you have been well trained not to let people know (as a kid) what your life at home is like. I'm sorry if this takes it off into a tangent that may not apply to your situation. I just picked up on the boundary situation and this is how it plays out with us. Good luck. I'd like to see if any others have ideas about how to deal with this. I have done other searches on here about "family issues" and there are posts here and there that might help you also.
  16. In the words of another famous middle child "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha" (Jan Brady). Don't count us (Gen X) out, we are the ones you don't see coming! Perhaps we were raised by Sesame Street, but there are other programs running behind the scenes (read:depth). Commuter, before reading your age (revealed in a few of your posts), I would have assumed you were in my generation due to wisdom. In nursing school as a second (second? maybe third or forth) career, I am learning there are many wise, brilliant young men and women out there.