I would work a certain floor and my buddy nurse would make side comments like, "Oh you're working today? She must be on vacation." Making side comments asking me why I'm working on that certain floor.
They are all nosy asking me how I managed to get the job there. Then I hear them commenting saying that how I get more shifts than nurses who are more senior than I am. To me I would not know. Am I the staffing clerk? Am I the Director of Care?
Not sure why they do not mind their own business. Literally, its like I did not know you were the boss and decided where I work.
I don't want to be mean, but I feel offended and not wanted when they ask me those questions. Questioning me as if I am a nobody. Now I'm not sure if its the way they were brought up. Most of those workers like that were not born in Canada they all went to nursing school outside Canada and just wrote their exam in Canada and were granted a license, cause I know most of the people I went to school with were disciplined and did not behave like that.
I also seem to be the employee who gets the negative attention, too. If only it was as easy as everyone says to just do your job and go home. Or turn around and walk away. Those two strategies have been what got me fired from my last two jobs.
No matter how much I try to get along and be nice to everyone, I end up being the one the mean girls pick on. The job before this most recent time, I walked into a facility where everyone knew everyone. Small town, small facility. Everyone grew up together, knew the patients as neighbors, started as CNAs in high school and been there for 20 years. I had 45 patients and if I was lucky, two CNAs and a CMA. Usually not. I tried to be pleasantly positive to everyone, but it only took one CNA to take a dislike to me because I insisted she do her job not sit at the nurses station doing homework and it took her two weeks to get me fired because nobody wanted to work with me anymore. Literally— told people I said that they were horrible at their job (I didn’t) or that I was writing them up (I wasn’t) and the DON called me and fired me because she couldn’t find anyone who wanted to work with me. I can’t blame her (and really I was sort of relieved because I was in over my head with that patient load!). It still hurt because I didn’t get a chance to defend myself, though. And I had gone to the DON for help with strategies to make things work smoother and she was never very helpful.
Most recently, I started at another small facility. The first two months were great. Then a new DON was hired, hired her friends, had me do their orientation shifts and help them get trained, then fired me. I never could get a straight answer as to why; she kept telling me that she just didn’t like what she was hearing about me from others. It wasn’t a nursing thing, it was a personality thing. She never even introduced herself to me before that day. I had probably exchanged 10 words with her and they were all patient centered. So obviously she listened to her friends say things about me or it was her plan all along.
Right now I’m trying to figure out how to get unemployment with these being my last two situations. And recover from Covid, which I found out I had about 10 minutes after getting fired from my last job. And find a new job. And figure out how to not be the person who gets either scapegoated or picked on by the mean girl staff. I really feel like just quitting the whole profession sometimes but I love my patients and I know I am good at being a nurse. I’m also going through a lot of soul searching and wondering if it really is me? I’m the lowest common denominator here. What can I do? How can I change and prevent this from becoming my life? I might not be cut out to be a team member! But nursing is a team sport!
I do know this, sometimes it doesn’t matter what you do, in nursing there are mean people who will still find a way to get you out if they want to. But if anyone has some suggestions for trying to win people over— not just walk away or ignore it— I’m all ears.
I also seem to be the employee who gets the negative attention, too. If only it was as easy as everyone says to just do your job and go home. Or turn around and walk away. Those two strategies have been what got me fired from my last two jobs.
No matter how much I try to get along and be nice to everyone, I end up being the one the mean girls pick on. The job before this most recent time, I walked into a facility where everyone knew everyone. Small town, small facility. Everyone grew up together, knew the patients as neighbors, started as CNAs in high school and been there for 20 years. I had 45 patients and if I was lucky, two CNAs and a CMA. Usually not. I tried to be pleasantly positive to everyone, but it only took one CNA to take a dislike to me because I insisted she do her job not sit at the nurses station doing homework and it took her two weeks to get me fired because nobody wanted to work with me anymore. Literally— told people I said that they were horrible at their job (I didn’t) or that I was writing them up (I wasn’t) and the DON called me and fired me because she couldn’t find anyone who wanted to work with me. I can’t blame her (and really I was sort of relieved because I was in over my head with that patient load!). It still hurt because I didn’t get a chance to defend myself, though. And I had gone to the DON for help with strategies to make things work smoother and she was never very helpful.
Most recently, I started at another small facility. The first two months were great. Then a new DON was hired, hired her friends, had me do their orientation shifts and help them get trained, then fired me. I never could get a straight answer as to why; she kept telling me that she just didn’t like what she was hearing about me from others. It wasn’t a nursing thing, it was a personality thing. She never even introduced herself to me before that day. I had probably exchanged 10 words with her and they were all patient centered. So obviously she listened to her friends say things about me or it was her plan all along.
Right now I’m trying to figure out how to get unemployment with these being my last two situations. And recover from Covid, which I found out I had about 10 minutes after getting fired from my last job. And find a new job. And figure out how to not be the person who gets either scapegoated or picked on by the mean girl staff. I really feel like just quitting the whole profession sometimes but I love my patients and I know I am good at being a nurse. I’m also going through a lot of soul searching and wondering if it really is me? I’m the lowest common denominator here. What can I do? How can I change and prevent this from becoming my life? I might not be cut out to be a team member! But nursing is a team sport!
I do know this, sometimes it doesn’t matter what you do, in nursing there are mean people who will still find a way to get you out if they want to. But if anyone has some suggestions for trying to win people over— not just walk away or ignore it— I’m all ears.
Move. Small towns have a lot of small minds. Go somewhere big enough where you can be a widget, where people come a wide range of neighborhoods and you don't have to see them outside of work.
I also seem to be the employee who gets the negative attention, too. If only it was as easy as everyone says to just do your job and go home. Or turn around and walk away. Those two strategies have been what got me fired from my last two jobs.
No matter how much I try to get along and be nice to everyone, I end up being the one the mean girls pick on. The job before this most recent time, I walked into a facility where everyone knew everyone. Small town, small facility. Everyone grew up together, knew the patients as neighbors, started as CNAs in high school and been there for 20 years. I had 45 patients and if I was lucky, two CNAs and a CMA. Usually not. I tried to be pleasantly positive to everyone, but it only took one CNA to take a dislike to me because I insisted she do her job not sit at the nurses station doing homework and it took her two weeks to get me fired because nobody wanted to work with me anymore. Literally— told people I said that they were horrible at their job (I didn’t) or that I was writing them up (I wasn’t) and the DON called me and fired me because she couldn’t find anyone who wanted to work with me. I can’t blame her (and really I was sort of relieved because I was in over my head with that patient load!). It still hurt because I didn’t get a chance to defend myself, though. And I had gone to the DON for help with strategies to make things work smoother and she was never very helpful.
Most recently, I started at another small facility. The first two months were great. Then a new DON was hired, hired her friends, had me do their orientation shifts and help them get trained, then fired me. I never could get a straight answer as to why; she kept telling me that she just didn’t like what she was hearing about me from others. It wasn’t a nursing thing, it was a personality thing. She never even introduced herself to me before that day. I had probably exchanged 10 words with her and they were all patient centered. So obviously she listened to her friends say things about me or it was her plan all along.
Right now I’m trying to figure out how to get unemployment with these being my last two situations. And recover from Covid, which I found out I had about 10 minutes after getting fired from my last job. And find a new job. And figure out how to not be the person who gets either scapegoated or picked on by the mean girl staff. I really feel like just quitting the whole profession sometimes but I love my patients and I know I am good at being a nurse. I’m also going through a lot of soul searching and wondering if it really is me? I’m the lowest common denominator here. What can I do? How can I change and prevent this from becoming my life? I might not be cut out to be a team member! But nursing is a team sport!
I do know this, sometimes it doesn’t matter what you do, in nursing there are mean people who will still find a way to get you out if they want to. But if anyone has some suggestions for trying to win people over— not just walk away or ignore it— I’m all ears.
In many cases, you have the least chance of interaction with peers doing extended care home health. If you are lucky you can get on a case where you are the only nurse period. Or, you see another nurse only at shift change. This does not always eliminate problems with coworkers, but it certainly cuts down on the odds that every situation will be you against 'a world' of people who like to throw their weight around.
Specializes in Med Surg, Tele, Geriatrics, home infusion.
52 minutes ago, subee said:
Move. Small towns have a lot of small minds. Go somewhere big enough where you can be a widget, where people come a wide range of neighborhoods and you don't have to see them outside of work.
Agreed. The bigger the place the less likely to be trapped with petty people who succeed off the work of others. Also research culture, non profits are less likely to have these types of people. Positions with a lot of autonomy are also less likely to have these kinds of interactions. I do home infusion nursing per diem and in 1 year I've met 1 co-worker and my DON. It's fantastic, I take good care of my patients punch in on my phone submit my paperwork digitally and punch out of my phone and go home. not that it's 100% drama free I still have to deal with the idiosyncrasies of the pharmacy ? but significantly more peaceful than when I did LTC.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
5 hours ago, SweetLizaBeth said:
I also seem to be the employee who gets the negative attention, too. If only it was as easy as everyone says to just do your job and go home.
It wasn’t a nursing thing, it was a personality thing.
I know I am good at being a nurse. I’m also going through a lot of soul searching and wondering if it really is me?
In reading your entire post, SweetLizaBeth, I could identify and commiserate with just about all of it. It isn't easy for us to just do our job and go home when we work in a pit of vipers.
People with low self esteem have a tendency to put personalities before principles because principles can't give them their external gratification fix they need.
If you know you're a good nurse and have been doing some soul-searching, you are on the right path.
The bad news is that it is most likely you. That doesn't mean you have to change who you are, and please don't because I feel a sort of kindredship with you. However, in order to survive, grow and evolve we need to learn techniques in order to successfully deal with the mainstream rabble.
Dealing with the mainstream rabble has been a lifelong endeavor of mine, and I've been successful enough to be a part of this field for forty years and retire from it.
I loved being a nurse and was very good at it myself, but good riddance to it and society in general!
If you wish to discuss this some more, you know where to find me.
In many cases, you have the least chance of interaction with peers doing extended care home health. If you are lucky you can get on a case where you are the only nurse period. Or, you see another nurse only at shift change. This does not always eliminate problems with coworkers, but it certainly cuts down on the odds that every situation will be you against 'a world' of people who like to throw their weight around.
I can second this. One of the reasons I enjoy extended care home health is because I don’t have coworkers. I’ve never been a “team player” and have social anxiety, so the fewer people I have to deal with and talk to on a daily basis the better.
I can second this. One of the reasons I enjoy extended care home health is because I don’t have coworkers. I’ve never been a “team player” and have social anxiety, so the fewer people I have to deal with and talk to on a daily basis the better.
I tend to be sensitive too, but I never let anyone bring me down. I had come to a conclusion years ago on this topic. There are people in the world who have to make others feel bad to make themselves feel good. They usually have low self esteem and are toxic. Stay away from them and go to work bearing in mind why you become a nurse in the first place. Remember and be happy. Good luck, you can do this.
It doesn't bother me. It's their problem about how to deal with my presence. If people dislike me, I'm okay with it. When a person dislikes me, I'm at advantage, nobody bothers me. It's a treasure.??
Is this only happening with those people disliking you? Do you like everybody? Are you well-liked by your own kind? Stop worrying about not being liked by everyone. There are people who will like you for who you're.
They are most likely not very happy people and there is no reason to personalize what other people do. Like someone else just suggested on here you have to make YOU happy by finding hobbies or doing things you like to do. Cherish the relationships you have to counteract the jerks!
SweetLizaBeth, BSN
8 Posts
I also seem to be the employee who gets the negative attention, too. If only it was as easy as everyone says to just do your job and go home. Or turn around and walk away. Those two strategies have been what got me fired from my last two jobs.
No matter how much I try to get along and be nice to everyone, I end up being the one the mean girls pick on. The job before this most recent time, I walked into a facility where everyone knew everyone. Small town, small facility. Everyone grew up together, knew the patients as neighbors, started as CNAs in high school and been there for 20 years. I had 45 patients and if I was lucky, two CNAs and a CMA. Usually not. I tried to be pleasantly positive to everyone, but it only took one CNA to take a dislike to me because I insisted she do her job not sit at the nurses station doing homework and it took her two weeks to get me fired because nobody wanted to work with me anymore. Literally— told people I said that they were horrible at their job (I didn’t) or that I was writing them up (I wasn’t) and the DON called me and fired me because she couldn’t find anyone who wanted to work with me. I can’t blame her (and really I was sort of relieved because I was in over my head with that patient load!). It still hurt because I didn’t get a chance to defend myself, though. And I had gone to the DON for help with strategies to make things work smoother and she was never very helpful.
Most recently, I started at another small facility. The first two months were great. Then a new DON was hired, hired her friends, had me do their orientation shifts and help them get trained, then fired me. I never could get a straight answer as to why; she kept telling me that she just didn’t like what she was hearing about me from others. It wasn’t a nursing thing, it was a personality thing. She never even introduced herself to me before that day. I had probably exchanged 10 words with her and they were all patient centered. So obviously she listened to her friends say things about me or it was her plan all along.
Right now I’m trying to figure out how to get unemployment with these being my last two situations. And recover from Covid, which I found out I had about 10 minutes after getting fired from my last job. And find a new job. And figure out how to not be the person who gets either scapegoated or picked on by the mean girl staff. I really feel like just quitting the whole profession sometimes but I love my patients and I know I am good at being a nurse. I’m also going through a lot of soul searching and wondering if it really is me? I’m the lowest common denominator here. What can I do? How can I change and prevent this from becoming my life? I might not be cut out to be a team member! But nursing is a team sport!
I do know this, sometimes it doesn’t matter what you do, in nursing there are mean people who will still find a way to get you out if they want to. But if anyone has some suggestions for trying to win people over— not just walk away or ignore it— I’m all ears.