How to deal with mean old men

[AMCNurse]

I was wondering what I should have done in this situation. It was start of night shift and I heard about this very demanding guy who was being really rude. The day nurse had two patients like this and was at wits end. I noticed his call light was on and I went in the room and he just starting yelling about how his IV has been beeping for a half hour and nobody is addressing it. He goes on this tirade of how us nurses pretty much suck and the doctors are a 12. He also says "I don't care what my nurse is busy with she needs to take care of me when I need it. Are there other sick people on this floor (duh) because I don't get why nobody takes care of me. I pay for insurance I'm not a loser patient who doesn't have insurance so I deserve to be waited on hand and foot." At the time I was kinda in shock about how rude he was. I just let him sort of get it out and I was trying to be super kind but I just wanted to scream back. He did end up calming down thankfully. I didn't want him to keep abusing the other nurses like this but I just don't know what to say to these type of patients. Any suggestions?

[KareBear0609]

And it sucks that if we were to tell a rude patient anything else besides, "oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Let me fix this right now"... they complain and WE get in trouble. Customer service for ya..........

[Cuddleswithpuddles]

This is not a very concrete solution-oriented reply but here goes.

Whenever a patient gets under my skin, I calm down and think that they are suffering much more than I ever have.

I think, "I am witnessing the throes of wounded animal that is scared and threatened."

I just happened to be in the line of fire.

It helps. Their pain does not justify verbal or physical abuse but it helps tremendously to depersonalize any nasty comments thrown my way.

[tothepointeLVN, LVN]

This is not a very concrete solution-oriented reply but here goes.

Whenever a patient gets under my skin, I calm down and think that they are suffering much more than I ever have.

I think, "I am witnessing the throes of wounded animal that is scared and threatened."

I just happened to be in the line of fire.

It helps. Their pain does not justify verbal or physical abuse but it helps tremendously to depersonalize any nasty comments thrown my way.

This I like and what I should have said if I was intelligent enough to say it. My basic reaction is "It's not about me. It's not happening to me just around me"

[ajt575s]

I think you did the right thing really, and dudette10's suggestion was good, as well. I work in psych, so I have to deescalate people all the time who are often aggressive and rude like this guy. Usually, the trick is to remain very calm and not really react to what they are saying while validating their feelings. Maintain a non-threatening, relaxed type of posture (no crossing arms, tapping the foot, etc.). It can be a balancing act in this situation, since you don't want to criticize your colleagues, either. I like the approach of saying, in a calm tone of voice, "Mr. Smith, I hear what you're saying. I'm sorry that you feel this way--what can I do to help you right now?" Sometimes, it's helpful to give the angry patient a decision: "Mr. Smith, I'm sorry that you're feeling frustrated right now. Would you like me to help you with X or Y first?" They have to stop and think to make the decision, which can calm them down, too.

You'll find that using a calming approach like this will often mean less trouble/episodes from the patient later, while giving the patient a sarcastic type of response will probably mean the patient is going to act out again and staff is going to continue having problems. I'm often surprised by how well this can work with patients who are very violently agitated (i.e., throwing things, cursing, yelling, etc.). It sounds like he's actually upset about something else to me--something I tell myself to be calm in these situations is: don't take this personally. This person's anger really has nothing to do with me. That helps you maintain the placid mannerisms/expression necessary to deescalate the person quickly.

Hope that helps!

[DizzyLizzyNurse]

I usually say very calmly, "I'm sorry you seem to be having a bad day today. Once you calm down and can speak to me more calmly I'll be more than happy to help you with what you need. Ring the bell when you are ready."

It has worked almost every time.

[brandy1017, ASN, RN]

I had a very unhappy patient complaining how she had been ignored and no one had checked on her in hours. Family was present and she kept going on and on. I just said I'm here now and I'll take care of you. That won't happen while I'm here"

She kept repeating herself like a broken record and I kept reitirating I'm here now and we will take care of you. Finally she settled down. I doubt her complaints were true. I think she had unrealistic expectations, wanted to be the center of attention and of course did this in front of her family to get sympathy from them!

[anotherone, BSN, RN]

no idea how to respond to patients like this as a nurse. in my personal life i handle it pretty well. at work i keep my mouth shut, ignore them, go in there when i have to, including, hourly rounds to check on them, tell them what i am there fore and let their tirades continue.

[nurse_autumn]

Can I call the supervisor for you? :)

The supervisor does not appreciate this

[AMCNurse]

Thanks so much for the great replies!!

[ProgressiveActivist, BSN, RN]

A patient complaint should take no more than five minutes (ask your administrators).

Follow the script:

What happenned?

I am sorry that that happenned.

What can we do to make it better.

Don't forget - five minutes tops.

[xtxrn, ASN, RN]

The supervisor does not appreciate this

That's what the extra 0.17/hour is for

My first thought every time I see the title to this thread is "Send in a mean old woman"

[kool-aide, RN]

I deescalate the pt by saying something like "I'm here to help, what can I do for you?" in a calm tone but I also follow up with, "I expect you to treat me with the same respect that I treat you with."