How to deal with mean old men

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I was wondering what I should have done in this situation. It was start of night shift and I heard about this very demanding guy who was being really rude. The day nurse had two patients like this and was at wits end. I noticed his call light was on and I went in the room and he just starting yelling about how his IV has been beeping for a half hour and nobody is addressing it. He goes on this tirade of how us nurses pretty much suck and the doctors are a 12. He also says "I don't care what my nurse is busy with she needs to take care of me when I need it. Are there other sick people on this floor (duh) because I don't get why nobody takes care of me. I pay for insurance I'm not a loser patient who doesn't have insurance so I deserve to be waited on hand and foot." At the time I was kinda in shock about how rude he was. I just let him sort of get it out and I was trying to be super kind but I just wanted to scream back. He did end up calming down thankfully. I didn't want him to keep abusing the other nurses like this but I just don't know what to say to these type of patients. Any suggestions?

Set your boundaries...I would have responded...mr so and so...my name is_____..sounds like things have not gone well for you today..but now I am here and my goal is to take care of you....let's put all that aside and what can I do for you right now so we can get you well and home real soon.....I have people like this have their world turned upside down and need to just be validated....if the abuse continues I would let him know in kind words that you feel abused by his words and need to know what can be done to stop it...

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Specializes in DOU.

If my IV pump was beeping for half an hour, I would be cranky, too. :D

I like the suggestion about using humor (we will take you off the loser-with-no-insurance list).

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Mr Smith...I am sorry you are having problems. I understand you are upset. Just being in the hospital/ nursing home is upsetting. No one ever wants to be here or signs up for this or one day wakes up and says...I'm going to the nursing home. Let me see what I can do for you now while I am in here and get things settled. As far as insurance....I have no clue who pays for what or how...everyone gets treated the same. I know it is no excuse that we are busy, but it is a reality in nursing. I'd love to spend more time with each of my patients but sometimes I can't. I will be here until 11pm tonite and I do answer call bells. Please give me a few mintues to get to it..we all try to work together but we have 28 patients down here. What can I do for you now?"

Oh..you were a pharmacist? Have you ever read the angry pharmacist blog? I understand retail pharmacy is crazy?

make sure when you leave he has everything he needs and let them know that you will try to be back in xyz time just to check on them.

This works.

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Specializes in Infectious Disease, Neuro, Research.
I think, "I am witnessing the throes of wounded animal that is scared and threatened."

Maybe not the best analogy- I've carried a .357 mag to "ease suffering & wounded livestock". I'm thinking I might not get my 3% next year, if I implement that...:D

An employee complaint should take no more than five minutes (ask your administrators).

Follow the script:

What happenned?

I am sorry that that happenned.

Why didn't you______?

Don't forget - five minutes tops.

Fixed that for ya'.:smokin: In all fairness, that script works well for those needing/wanting validation. It does not work well at all for those of better than average intelligence, who know the car-salesman soft-soap rub.

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Well sir, The Ramada Inn is just down the street. I can give you the name of a great maid, but here you will be treated just like all of the other patients. Here we do not care if you have insurance or not, everyone is treated equal.:nurse:

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Specializes in Gen peds,ER,Retail medicine, peds heme.
"I am sorry sir, your insurance entitles you to medical care, yes, but not a maid to wait on you hand and foot. Turns out my 8 other patients have insurance and are also entitled to medical care, and none of them are being waited on hand and foot."

This is awesome

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Specializes in LPN.

Don't forget to document on their behaviors. They may need a psych eval. I also write it in the 24 hour report, because repeated behaviors need to not only be documented, but followed up on by the doctor.

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Specializes in Emergency/Cath Lab.

Close the door and have a very frank conversation with him. Respect goes both ways. He is not allowed to treat people the way he does and expect to get whatever he wants in return. If it continues, treat him like a spoiled little brat, let him sit in the corner for awhile haha

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Specializes in LTC, Psych, Hospice.

Call me weird, but I like taking care of grumpy old men. I joke w/ them and just don't let their gumpiness get to me. Before you know it, they are smiling and we get along fine. I remember that under every grumpy old man is a scared little boy.

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Specializes in LTC.
I was wondering what I should have done in this situation. It was start of night shift and I heard about this very demanding guy who was being really rude. The day nurse had two patients like this and was at wits end. I noticed his call light was on and I went in the room and he just starting yelling about how his IV has been beeping for a half hour and nobody is addressing it. He goes on this tirade of how us nurses pretty much suck and the doctors are a 12. He also says "I don't care what my nurse is busy with she needs to take care of me when I need it. Are there other sick people on this floor (duh) because I don't get why nobody takes care of me. I pay for insurance I'm not a loser patient who doesn't have insurance so I deserve to be waited on hand and foot." At the time I was kinda in shock about how rude he was. I just let him sort of get it out and I was trying to be super kind but I just wanted to scream back. He did end up calming down thankfully. I didn't want him to keep abusing the other nurses like this but I just don't know what to say to these type of patients. Any suggestions?

What I would've done was just calmly responded to his requests. He's probably lonely and just wants someone to care about him too! Not saying that no one there cares about him, but he clearly felt like he wasn't being cared for. Then, after that, I would've charted his behaviors and left a note in the social worker's book about his behaviors. They're better trained in those situations.

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Specializes in ICU, ER.

I do not take that crap from anyone. Pts, co-workers, people in public, etc. If anyone is rude to me I just say something along the lines of "your behaviour is inappropriate/unprofessional/unacceptable, I do not deserve to be treated this way and I will not tolerate it" and walk away.

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Specializes in Med Surg.
Close the door and have a very frank conversation with him. Respect goes both ways. He is not allowed to treat people the way he does and expect to get whatever he wants in return. If it continues, treat him like a spoiled little brat, let him sit in the corner for awhile haha

That's pretty much my tecnique and one well seasoned nurse I know calls this her "come to Jesus" talk. The secret is to let the person in charge know what is going on and document, document, document.

A dog keeps barking at the mailman everyday because the mailman always goes away. The dog wins. If you validate bad behavior by sympathizing with unreasonble demands and complaints, the patient sees no reason to modify his behavior. The dog wins.

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