How to deal with mean old men

[AMCNurse]

I was wondering what I should have done in this situation. It was start of night shift and I heard about this very demanding guy who was being really rude. The day nurse had two patients like this and was at wits end. I noticed his call light was on and I went in the room and he just starting yelling about how his IV has been beeping for a half hour and nobody is addressing it. He goes on this tirade of how us nurses pretty much suck and the doctors are a 12. He also says "I don't care what my nurse is busy with she needs to take care of me when I need it. Are there other sick people on this floor (duh) because I don't get why nobody takes care of me. I pay for insurance I'm not a loser patient who doesn't have insurance so I deserve to be waited on hand and foot." At the time I was kinda in shock about how rude he was. I just let him sort of get it out and I was trying to be super kind but I just wanted to scream back. He did end up calming down thankfully. I didn't want him to keep abusing the other nurses like this but I just don't know what to say to these type of patients. Any suggestions?

[Gem83]

OMG that is unreal, however, I'm sure we've all experienced these kinds of patients. What bothers me the most about these situations is that hospitals are completely enabling this sort of behavior; the louder, more selfish, and meaner the patient the more the hospital/mgmt will do to appease the patient. I think this is BS. The worst is when patient's families gang up against the RN and complain incessantly about waiting, and then add, "but I know it's not YOUR fault," but by then they've already ruined your day. Also, patients who are really sick get overlooked because the loud patients get the most attention, which is also really dangerous...

Honestly, most times I tune these patients out; you're only human and you work as fast as you can, don't let them get to you - if they get to you then you stress out and then you slow down or start making mistakes. They can carry on but getting into it with them can cause more problems for you... If they really become abusive, bring it to management... or, you can also kill them with kindness. If you don't think that'll work, flat out tell them you had a patient that couldn't breath, was dying, or was more sick than he is and needed your time - you have other patients to care for too!!

Good Luck!!!!

[SoundofMusic]

I don't know. I always get grumpy old guys and usually, 9 times out of 10, I have them eating out of my hand by the end of the shift.

I sometimes will just say something like, "Jesus *hrist -- can you just frickin' wait a minute?? I'm doing the best I can here. And I say it FIRMLY. I then start to treat them like a grumpy scolding mother figure .. . "Look at you. You're a mess. Let's get you cleaned up. For God's sake, you haven't had anything to eat yet? Ok, let's sit you up and change this gown. Come on .. .get with it. Sit up ... and what's with this IV here . . . .it's a mess and it needs to be changed. Just when was the last time you were cleaned up? . ..etc, etc.

The tough talk seems to humor them a bit .. .and at the same time, I'm meeting their physical needs. I think it reduces them to little boys again ... and they're warmed by it. I try to validate their feelings bit by bit ..".yeah, it's crap ...but what can you do? This ain't the Hilton, you know."

Then I start to ask them about themselves -- show interest in them. So, what do you do? What did you do before you retired? They like that also.

I think always, always, ill rotten behavior is a sign of a hurting human being. They need someone to validate them, show interest in their concerns, and of course, take charge and take care of their needs. Sadly, they're like children ...but aren't we all.

[PintheD]

duckhillbandit WE DON'T CARE. And I would venture a guess that the "bewildered" gay male nurse isn't itching to handle you either.

Nurses treat patients with dignity and have respect for their privacy. If any patient chooses not to respect me in turn by thrusting their "endowment in my face", as you posed on another post, you're being charged with assault. Assault of a healthcare worker is a felony btw.