How can I word this to my manager when she asks me to pick up extra?

[Nurse4lifewithparrots]

Hi

About a month ago my manager called me to ask me to come in bc the unit needed help. I didn't answer /wasn't by my phone. The ANM called me a half hour later and I did answer and told her I could not come in that day.

the next week I asked my manager what days she needed me to pick up OT if we are short staffed. She said "I gave all your days to agency nurses since you never answered my call" I told her "I had an appointment that day" she said "your hair doesn't count". (It was not for my hair, I never told her or anyone that. She assumed)

One more time a couple weeks later she asked in a group chat for someone to come in OT, I offered to come in and she declined me.

I want to be clear that I have picked up more days OT when we were short staffed than anyone on my unit and I'd bet than many people. One time I worked 10 12 hour days in a row. (Granted, it was good covid bonus but still) This is a new manager though but she knows I've come in when called 9/10 times.

so I finally got a per diem job somewhere else now, and won't be picking up ot on my unit anymore. She might not ask me to come in again...but if she does, I wanted to word my answer respectively but still give the reason why I will not come in, because of those 2 times she wouldn't allow me.

Can anyone give me a good way to say it please? I am not great with words. I want to be prepared. Thank you 

[JKL33]

No, no, no. This is not something one should engage in as a nurse. You don't need to give reasons.  Do nothing further to entertain their childish punitive behavior (which is stupid but gives them satisfaction and inappropriate power over you—eg you spend your precious life worrying about stuff like this and listening to ridiculousness, pettiness and just crap).  They never needed to know your reason in the first place and as you can see, offering them a reason just gave them a chance to get their digs in with the hair comment. Let it go. Get your extra hours at your per diem job. They don't need to know about it. 

And before anyone comes along to say that managers just want an answer so they don't keep calling the same people/can cross people off the list: That isn't all THIS manager wants; she wants to bully people. She is **EXACTLY** the kind of reason people dread answering the phone in the first place.  

 

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

JKL said it all. But I must chime in! You have a new manager that wants to exert her authority (bully is a good word too).Don't get into any issue with her. You are already on her radar. I have seen managers like this get nurses out the door. Might be time to make a move.

[Nurse Beth, MSN]

Excellent replies above. If you feel you want to say something:
 

Thanks for considering me, but I've decided to focus on my other commitments and am not available to pick up any additional shifts. After recent rejections, I've decided to reprioritize my time. Thank you for your understanding.

[mtmkjr, BSN]

Agree with the others. She does not need any explanation from you when you are unable to pick up additional shifts and her manipulative behavior is a red flag.

As the one who is usually calling for help when we are short I am super respectful of people's non-work time. If they don't answer I don't pursue. If they say they can't I say "thank you, no problem, thank you for the quick reply". 

No one owes me anything.  I'm always grateful for those who can do extra, but I never take them for granted!

[brandy1017, ASN, RN]

The fact that she has agency staff on speed dial and doesn't need you but is making a case that you didn't call on your day off is a red flag.  The only reason they want staff to pick up is you are cheaper than agency or travelers so it keeps her budget down.  Managers like to keep the budget down as they are usually rewarded with a bonus at the end of the year.  I've heard of a ten percent bonus at Aurora, for instance.

Agree with the others, don't engage her.  She is a bully and you don't have to work extra, nor do you have to give her an explanation why.  I personally don't think you need to answer your phone on your days off either.  She sounds like a controlling, punitive person who I would avoid if possible.  It is good you have another job.

She reminds me of my previous manger who tried to get rid of us older nurses during 2020 covid because she had hired a handful of new grads and thought she didn't need us.  Right away she started her harassment and write ups by calling a nurse on her vacation to leave her a message that there was a problem and she needed a meeting with her to intimidate and try to wreck her vacation.  Because we were union she couldn't just fire us, but did her best to harass us on petty BS.  Nurses did start leaving just to avoid dealing with her.  Shortly after this covid peaked and then she started having to run around and tell the older nurses she needed us after all, which she did!

 

[klone, MSN, RN]

W T F.
You should find a job elsewhere. The level of disrespect is breathtaking.

[Nurse4lifewithparrots]

Thanks for the replies. I guess I wanted some sassy comment to "tell her" if she ever asked me again, but you all are right. Not worth my time thinking about this anymore and I am on her radar already. It's hard to believe that I'm one of the most senior nurses on the dayshift now at 6 years a nurse. We had a little exodus of nurses recently and a bunch of new grad hires and agencies for the first time I've been there. 

[brandy1017, ASN, RN]

Nurse4lifewithparrots said:

Thanks for the replies. I guess I wanted some sassy comment to "tell her" if she ever asked me again, but you all are right. Not worth my time thinking about this anymore and I am on her radar already. It's hard to believe that I'm one of the most senior nurses on the dayshift now at 6 years a nurse. We had a little exodus of nurses recently and a bunch of new grad hires and agencies for the first time I've been there. 

Your vested now re 401k/403b so you can always leave for greener pastures.  That is honestly the best way to get a decent raise as well!  If you stay at one place they usually give out crappy raises like 2-3%.  Ascension wouldn't even give raises during 2020 covid, nor covid bonuses unlike the rest of the systems in our area!  Because we were union they had to give us the raise we were contracted for, but it was only 2% or so if I remember right.  Since the mass exodus of nurses they have revamped wages and increased the salary scale but it still isn't ideal.  They are in contract negotiations now and it isn't going well.  I retired end of 2020 but still keep abreast of things.

[FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN]

"Thanks for asking, I have other commitments and will not be picking up any overtime for the foreseeable future.”

[chare]

When anyone calls from work, I rarely answer.  I'll listen to any voice mail, and will occasionally return the call, depending on the message; but not if the call was regarding picking up a shift.

If they ask me in person, all I say is that I am unable to work that day.  They don't need anything more than that.

And I agree with @Been there,done that; you've got a target on your back, and should consider moving on.

Best wishes.

[Savvy20RN, BSN, RN]

Why are hospitals under the impression that nurses are obligated to work more hours than they signed up for? If you agreed to 36 hours per week and they want more then that's their problem. The gaslighting truly needs to stop in this field.