About a month ago my manager called me to ask me to come in bc the unit needed help. I didn't answer /wasn't by my phone. The ANM called me a half hour later and I did answer and told her I could not come in that day.
the next week I asked my manager what days she needed me to pick up OT if we are short staffed. She said "I gave all your days to agency nurses since you never answered my call" I told her "I had an appointment that day" she said "your hair doesn't count". (It was not for my hair, I never told her or anyone that. She assumed)
One more time a couple weeks later she asked in a group chat for someone to come in OT, I offered to come in and she declined me.
I want to be clear that I have picked up more days OT when we were short staffed than anyone on my unit and I'd bet than many people. One time I worked 10 12 hour days in a row. (Granted, it was good covid bonus but still) This is a new manager though but she knows I've come in when called 9/10 times.
so I finally got a per diem job somewhere else now, and won't be picking up ot on my unit anymore. She might not ask me to come in again...but if she does, I wanted to word my answer respectively but still give the reason why I will not come in, because of those 2 times she wouldn't allow me.
Can anyone give me a good way to say it please? I am not great with words. I want to be prepared. Thank you
Your manager is playing a mind game. You owe nobody with your free time. Don't answer. If you want to work extra, apply somewhere where they don't play a head game.
Wow her behavior sounds a lot like my DON that I used to have. She had the same childish attitude and bullying behaviors that you talk about. She was also double dipping at my facility because the registry agency we were using was owned by HER (though when you'd ask her if she did she'd deny it). She'd deny our regular staff that offered to work extra days in favor of her agency workers. She also refused to help out to cover the floor when we were short and would rather just use her agency instead of actually having to help.
I won't get into it here, but she was the most dishonest and obnoxious manager I've ever had in my entire 12 year career as a nurse. Needless to say, nobody missed her after she left.
I had a similar experience in 2018. Relatively new manager key upping our assignments from 6/1 to 7/1 and was talking 8/1 patients on a telemetry floor. Plus we had quite a few agency nurses who weren't a lot of help. We all complained. She said "I'll get rid of all of you and staff entirely with agency.” That was my cue, my thought being "have at it then". I left shortly thereafter for home care which I absolutely loved. Haven't looked back.
I'd be curious what happened as she was just using an intimidation tactic and there is no way she could maintain agency nurses in place of staff nurses due to the budget cost! Curious how many of your coworkers stayed and if she is still there. Usually, these things backfire and after enough nurses vote with their feet, the patient staffing is brought back down as even agency or travel nurses have their limits of what they will put up with! Also wonder if the manager is still there. I keep track thru the union and thru linked in.
Many times, these troublesome managers or CNO's find their next job harder to find or may even require more travel time or relocation. I admit to having schadenfreude toward these nasty types and enjoy hearing of their downfall as it is inevitable and only a matter of time! For instance, a group of managers including the CNO were bragging about their 400K houses back in the early 2000's around the sole nurse in the Clinical Ladder Committee right before voting to demote a nurse with a 4% pay cut! But karma came a coming as the CNO was fired and sent out of the building by security, crying no less. Then one of the managers took her job, only to be later fired in the same manner, crying as well! Both of them had trouble finding a job after, took over a year and one had to relocate to a rural area. I smiled when I thought of her having to sell her fancy house! They had no compassion or empathy toward the nurse they demoted with a pay cut and she was far from the only one they did this to!
Also the nasty manager that tried to fire us during covid who looked and had a mean streak like Cruella de Ville complete with a long streak of silver in her hair ended up having to drive even farther from her house when she finally quit the hospital I worked at. She had to start over at a new system losing her seniority and benefits. She had already been laid off at her prior Ascension hospital and only given the job by us as a favor of being the friend of the CNO and was an L&D/OB nurse and really not qualified to be a Cardiac Manger. Ascension had cleaned house and laid off all our management and educators after they took over our hospital so they would only hire yes people!
I felt sorry for the poor nurses who would have to deal with her as she acted like Jeckyl and Hyde, she would start off emails with Jesus and Mother Teresa and they would always end with I will write you up...threats over something or other. Made me feel good she had an even longer commute at least and the people left at my old place were finally rid of her and her nonsense! I had taken early retirement by then. She is one of those people that give Christians a bad name!
"Thank you, but I'm not able to work today" or you can also add "If I become available I'll let you know". Not being 'able' can really mean you aren't able. Mentally or physically you may need a break.
Do they make you'put away ' your phone at wk ? Tell them you give the same courtesy to your family by not answering your phone with them, your not on call 24/7 unless they pay you call. That's what messages are for. They don't answer if they aren't on call
Nurse bullying is real. I left hospital nursing for that very reason and will never go back. Don't wait until she gets others to bully you too. They travel in packs. Her next step will be to make sure your don't get full time (3 shifts). She call you off, or once there tell you they are overstaffed and send you home. Move on.
JohnHood, BSN
73 Posts
You do not owe an explanation if you cannot or do not want to work an extra shift. No, is all that is needed.