About a month ago my manager called me to ask me to come in bc the unit needed help. I didn't answer /wasn't by my phone. The ANM called me a half hour later and I did answer and told her I could not come in that day.
the next week I asked my manager what days she needed me to pick up OT if we are short staffed. She said "I gave all your days to agency nurses since you never answered my call" I told her "I had an appointment that day" she said "your hair doesn't count". (It was not for my hair, I never told her or anyone that. She assumed)
One more time a couple weeks later she asked in a group chat for someone to come in OT, I offered to come in and she declined me.
I want to be clear that I have picked up more days OT when we were short staffed than anyone on my unit and I'd bet than many people. One time I worked 10 12 hour days in a row. (Granted, it was good covid bonus but still) This is a new manager though but she knows I've come in when called 9/10 times.
so I finally got a per diem job somewhere else now, and won't be picking up ot on my unit anymore. She might not ask me to come in again...but if she does, I wanted to word my answer respectively but still give the reason why I will not come in, because of those 2 times she wouldn't allow me.
Can anyone give me a good way to say it please? I am not great with words. I want to be prepared. Thank you
No is a complete sentence. This manager, no manager needs to have an explanation, a simple no, I'm not available is fine. There's no need to feel guilty either. If you consistently work your scheduled hours and your contract does not specify a requirement for on-call or picking up additional hours beyond your scheduled shifts their staffing problems are not your problem.
Feel the need to say I have worked under managers, directors and house supervisors who were very respectful when asking for help (actually this was more often than not). They have to do it, and I appreciate that they ARE doing it; after all, they were also trying to find help during those times when I was one of the nurses already scheduled to work and there was a staffing hole. I think it's a good general courtesy to give them a response if one is so inclined so I usually tried to let them know if I could or couldn't come in whenever I saw/heard the message in time. It's kind of a head-scratcher when there are stories of managers who don't handle this part of the role well; it's hard for people to WANT to be super helpful when they are treated poorly.
Hey there, just joined in on this thread and thought I'd chime in!
Honestly, I think the folks here have already nailed it—there's no need to explain yourself or engage in that manipulative back-and-forth. Like others mentioned, you don't owe anyone an explanation for protecting your personal time, especially when the treatment you've received has been disrespectful. If your manager tries to guilt-trip you into picking up extra shifts, you can keep it simple and professional: "Thanks for thinking of me, but I'm not available for overtime at this time.”
I know it's tempting to throw in something more, especially after the way she's handled things, but at the end of the day, focusing on your own priorities and boundaries is the most important. Plus, with your per diem gig now, you've got more control over your schedule, which sounds like a win!
Hope things smooth out for you—sounds like you've been carrying a lot!
Specializes in Med/surg,orthopedics,emergency room,.
Well, it does appear that she is being quite petty giving all your OT shifts to an agency nurse. The issue I have is the fact that she ASSUMED you got your hair done! So what if you did? What you do on YOUR time off is YOUR business! AND if you say no, then don't let ANYONE guilt trip into coming in. Listen, you are not obligated to tell anyone why you cannot come in. A simple " I'm not available is good. End of conversation.
Excellent replies above. If you feel you want to say something:
Thanks for considering me, but I've decided to focus on my other commitments and am not available to pick up any additional shifts. After recent rejections, I've decided to reprioritize my time. Thank you for your understanding.
I love an intentionally placed "thank you for your understanding" — it implies that the conversation has concluded, and that no further argument is required... AND that understanding is the only reasonable response
JKL said it all. But I must chime in! You have a new manager that wants to exert her authority (bully is a good word too).Don't get into any issue with her. You are already on her radar. I have seen managers like this get nurses out the door. Might be time to make a move.
Agree 100%. This was my first thought too...making a move. My second thought, because I'm a petty Betty, was answer phone, say no can do, I have a hair appointment. LOL. I don't advise that but yeah, new managers can be a trip. This one sounds as if SHE thinks her employees owe her 24/7 availability and that is ridiculous. OP has a life and, yes, hair does count.
The fact that she has agency staff on speed dial and doesn't need you but is making a case that you didn't call on your day off is a red flag. The only reason they want staff to pick up is you are cheaper than agency or travelers so it keeps her budget down. Managers like to keep the budget down as they are usually rewarded with a bonus at the end of the year. I've heard of a ten percent bonus at Aurora, for instance.
Agree with the others, don't engage her. She is a bully and you don't have to work extra, nor do you have to give her an explanation why. I personally don't think you need to answer your phone on your days off either. She sounds like a controlling, punitive person who I would avoid if possible. It is good you have another job.
She reminds me of my previous manger who tried to get rid of us older nurses during 2020 covid because she had hired a handful of new grads and thought she didn't need us. Right away she started her harassment and write ups by calling a nurse on her vacation to leave her a message that there was a problem and she needed a meeting with her to intimidate and try to wreck her vacation. Because we were union she couldn't just fire us, but did her best to harass us on petty BS. Nurses did start leaving just to avoid dealing with her. Shortly after this covid peaked and then she started having to run around and tell the older nurses she needed us after all, which she did!
I had a similar experience in 2018. Relatively new manager key upping our assignments from 6/1 to 7/1 and was talking 8/1 patients on a telemetry floor. Plus we had quite a few agency nurses who weren't a lot of help. We all complained. She said "I'll get rid of all of you and staff entirely with agency.” That was my cue, my thought being "have at it then". I left shortly thereafter for home care which I absolutely loved. Haven't looked back.
Emergent, RN
4,307 Posts
Here's how you word it "No thank you" or "No thank you, I have plans.".
Even if your plans are just to lay on the couch all day and watch Netflix.