How can I convince my husband that I NEED to go to nursing school?

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Hi everyone! I am hoping to start doing my pre-reqs for nursing school this summer and applying to the nursing program in Spring 2013. The issue is that I work p/t, am married, and have 4 young children. I will have to quit my job in order to go to school because my job will not work around a school schedule. I am fine with that, because with everything else going on in my life, I would like to just concentrate on school and not worry about a job. The problem is my husband. He does not think it is a good idea and doesn't want me to go into nursing school. The thing is, there is no room for advancement in the job I have (a library assistant at the public library), and I feel that if I don't do this, I will be working a dead-end job my whole life. I have literally cried to him about needing to do this, but he feels we just can't afford it financially (even though my job doesn't contribute that much money, and nursing school won't cost me that much because I qualify for a tuition waiver). Any suggestions on ways I can convince him that this is the best decision for our family? Thanks in advance :)

Don't kill me, but...I support you in your dreams (as all of us because we are nursing students and then there are other nurses), but I don't view that as he doesn't support your dream. I think he is worried about finances. Remember, he does work as a tech or whatever in a hospital setting, so he has an idea of how easy/hard new grad RNs have it in getting a job there. Also, you quit your job and go to school. I know where I live (can't speak for you, so it could be different) they will not pay for unemployment or anything if you quit to go to school. Some places you can quit a job or something and still get unemployment. So, there will only be one income...with 4 small kids. I know my first year in nursing school there were the costs of uniforms, patches for uniforms, tuition, books, misc. fees, stethoscope, BP cuff, scissors/pen light, name tags, TEAS test, ATI program materials (it was like 300 dollars or there abouts), etc. Then, second year of school was tuition, books, gas (became big, we drove all over the place for clinical), if you want to do any NCLEX prep courses, cost of application/boards fees (It was over 300 here). Plus, you have to think about child care costs.

Just my thoughts. Sorry to be the debbie downer.

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The C.N.A thing is a good idea, it would just mean I couldn't apply to the actual nursing program until Fall 2013. I'm not saying my husband isn't supportive, he is great and I know he is only thinking about our finances, it is just hard because this is something that I really want. Oh well, we will see what happens :)

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Mindlor what a great post it's so nice to hear from a males perspective. Kudos to you!!! :)

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Just guessing, but if you have no prior college background and plan on going through a local community college for your training you're looking at a good 1-2 years of prerequisite courses just to get to where you can apply for admission to a nursing program. Then, you've got uniforms, equipment costs, materials costs, etc. which add up, and another 1-2 years to get to where can sit for the ol' NCLEX and get to hang those letters (LVN,LPN,RN) after your name. Not trying to dissuade you, but there's a LOT that goes into this, and an emotion-based argument (e.g. I NEED to do this) doesn't demonstrate that you've put much thought into it.

In addition to the CNA angle, one thing I'd recommend (in addition to coming up with an actual plan of attack to make this a reality) is to consider remaining employed and take classes part-time. True, it'll take longer - but, you still need the prereqs & it'll give you time to address what other issues might be lurking under the surface.

As for "will this work"? Give you one good guess as to what I'm doing right now. ;) On-call CNA, taking online classwork at a local CC & looking at going full-time for summer school, then back to part-time for fall & spring semesters for the next academic year.

----- Dave

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Let me just say, that if you want it bad enough, you can make it happen. Just focus on aligning your vision with your husband and you can worry about all the little details later.

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Specializes in CRNA, Finally retired.

Remember that many new grads here have been jobless for a LONG time. Be careful what you wish for. You could be unemployed and in a lot of debt. You had FOUR children and now you want to go to nursing school because it's your dream?

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Specializes in Emergency, Pre-Op, PACU, OR.

I second the CNA suggestion. It is an affordable, quick entry into the healthcare field and will show you quickly if you REALLY want to be a nurse before you commit financially. CNA experience will also look great on your resume, allow you to work while in school, and might open RN job opportunities with your employer down the road. I too think that going to nursing school is a decision that both you and your husband must be ok with if you want to have a healthy marriage.

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I do have to agree with other posters. I do not believe that your husband is being inappropriate to put your families fiscal stability ahead of your dreams. That is kind of what you have to do when you have a family. You don't have to give up, but you do have to compromise. I third the CNA suggestion. Since you will likely have a large number of pre-reqs, i would also suggest taking online courses for the non-lab classes (Math, Psych, English, communications, etc). By the time you complete all of those you will have a better idea if this is the path for you. Your family will also have the opportunity to build up some financial reserves to last though your education.

Good luck! And don't be too hard on your husband.

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Mindlor what a great post it's so nice to hear from a males perspective. Kudos to you!!! :)

Why thank you...

I have seen many hubbys get bashed on here for similar situations.

Truth is, marriage is not always forever. People grow apart sometimes.

My hope is that when this happenes it is handled in a mature and above boards way......

Now that said, I clearly understand the OPs position....I DO NOT believe that women should not have goals, dreams, careers, etc....I do believe that all of these things should be discussed before the marriage ceremony takes place.......

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Specializes in Oncology/hematology.

Now that said, I clearly understand the OPs position....I DO NOT believe that women should not have goals, dreams, careers, etc....I do believe that all of these things should be discussed before the marriage ceremony takes place.......

Well, sometimes, that's easier said than done. When I married my hubby 20 years ago, I never wanted children and wanted to be a personal trainer. I did the personal trainer thing, hated it. Had to have a child or I would die! Did that. Now, at 42, I'm going to nursing school. Sometimes, the talk can't come before the ceremony. ;)

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

There is no way to hold someone to discussing this kind of thing before a marriage takes place, since people go through many cycles of change. The commitment is that they then change together and that is what is important here.

Nursing school will still be there when your kids are older and don't require childcare. The market may have improved by then as well. It sounds like between the expenses, the economy and your marriage waiting is the prudent move at this time. If you pursue a CNA certificate, you may be able to secure a position in a hospital that has a grow-your-own nursing program in partnership with one of the local colleges. Most of them require you to have been employed there at least a year and work 20 hours a week through school with a commitment to work there as a nurse after. In exchange tuition, books, NCLEX etc are paid for. Something to explore for the future.

I waited until my kids were teenagers to pursue nursing and did my pre-reqs one class at a time for two years prior so that I would get As and be able to get accepted (another difficult achievement...just getting accepted is hard. What if you up and quit your job and then can't even get in?) I am working as a nurse now at a very good hospital and have happy, well adjusted kids who got to see me go through college all the way through, which seems to have set a great example for them. And I got my dream at the ripe old age of 41 (which oddly doesn't feel a whole lot different than 30 except for less angst about life).

"No" and "not right now" are not the same thing. I think your husband is being sensible and protective of your little family. Best of luck.

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