How can I convince my husband that I NEED to go to nursing school?

Nurse2b7337 · Apr 23, 2012

Wow!! I have four children also. Maybe you could go online and do your research as far as the benefits of starting nursing school. When you're done with that then research the benefits of becoming a nurse with the pay included. If you go into nursing school would that cut out your childcare expenses?? Maybe if you mentioned this that would help. I understand your eagerness and it's good that you already found out you qualify for a tuition waver. Timing is everything maybe DH is concerned he will have t step up his game as Dad!!! Good luck to you!!! :)

BrittRN2B14 · Apr 23, 2012

I just think that has your husband he should support your dream and goals. Yes it is going to be hard while you are in the program but the long term benefits from going to college and getting a degree especially in nursing will make the suffering worth it. I am starting in the fall and my husband knows that this road isn't going to be easy but he's willing to support me and help through it. Maybe you could show him the salaries that graduate nures make or the demand for nurses! Good luck and I really hope things work out for you! If you like to read blogs check mine out at keepcalmnurseon.blogspot.com

Katie71275 · Apr 23, 2012

Put it all on paper. Do you do a budget already? If not, write down your current bills as well as your current income, then do another one but with just his income and show him that it will work!

I also have 4 children, age 2, 5, 7, 9, and was working full time making GOOD money...and although I loved what I did(child protection), I have always wanted to be a nurse and knew that is where my true heart lies....I did convince my husband and he has supported me. Good luck!

trutuyu · Apr 23, 2012

Hello Pam,

I have run into many nurses who have gotten divorces during or after school because their husband couldn't handle their new found independance (no longer dependant on him). It's hard for a man to not be the "man" and "take care" of his family. It can actually destroy a man all together. Just as a lot of women have been brought up to raise a family, the reverse is true that a most men have been brought up to take care of a family. I am a married man with children, and I am three weeks away from graduating nursing school after a 5 year long journey, so I might be able to help you a little, but maybe not. First, make sure that there is not an underlying issue that your husband isn't telling you about. A lot of men get jealous of their wives when they go to nursing school because nurses can make a lot of money and that might take away the "breadwinner" title that your husband currently holds. Also, If you become a nurse you will have a vast base of knowledge that your husband won't, and that might scare him a little too.

If those are not issues then show him some of what the advantages would be if their was a nurse in the house. Like how much nurses make and how much you could "take the burden off of him". Show him how much your new found knowledge could help the family. You would be learning how to eat better, exercise better, take care of the kids (and him) when they get sick. There is a lot advantages to being a nurse. Look into how some of your new knowledge could directly affect your family, then build your case.

mindlor · Apr 23, 2012

As a man, I will say that a lot of posts I have seen on this topic are silly.

A marriage is a partnership. You work part time and probably have primary responsibility for the care of the young children.

Hubby is probably busting his rump at least 40 hours per week.

With you in school his workload is going to get a lot heavier.

In your title you said you NEED to go to school. I think a better word would have been WANT?

Also, be advised that these days an RN license by no means guarantees a job.

I understand that you have dreams and goals. But so does your husband. Sometimes in a relationship these dreams and goals do not line up.

It may come down to what is more important to you. Your husband or going to to school.

If your husband does not support you it does not mean that he does not love you or that he is a scum bag, it means that he does not think the family unit can handle the additional stress and hardship......

rubato, ASN, RN · Apr 23, 2012

I agree with the comments that you need a written out plan. How much it truly will cost you with the loss of your job. How much hubby will have to pick up the slack with the kids and house. How much you could be making as a nurse, and what the chances are of you getting a job straight out of school. He may be scared of the change. He may be afraid you expect more of him at home. He may not understand what the financial implications will be. Sit down, talk it out with full facts, and see where it goes.

Yes, marriage is a partnership. It would be nice if both partners could always get what they want, but that doesn't work out. If he is adamantly against it after a full disclosure, and you are still completely for it, one of you isn't going to get what he or she wants. I hope you can work it out and find a way to make it work. Good luck!

LifeIsGood76 · Apr 23, 2012

Thank you all so much for your advice. You all have some great points. I am going to sit down with him today and lay out a complete budget. It is hard because we barely make ends meet as it is, so I know me not working will be hard, but hopefully would pay off in the end. He does have a decent job (he's a surgical tech in Labor and Delivery), but I don't know if we can survive on one income. I will let you know how it goes. Thanks again!

kids · Apr 23, 2012

Something to keep in mind, your childcare expenses will likely go UP, not down. There are a lot of hidden expenses with nursing school.

Not going to nursing school now doesn't mean 'never', it just mans not now.

To be honest, if you're barely getting by now, going to school now could just drive you deeper into debt. Right now I don't think nursing school can be viewed as a sacrifice now that will pay off later or counted on as an investment in your family's future.

Nursing jobs are scarce now and there is no guarantee that any of the 'health care reform' that is predicted to improve the job market will happen. Those reforms aren't fully integrated and coming up on an election year they could easily be reversed or gutted by a new administration.

Again, not going now doesn't mean never, it just means not now.

classicdame, MSN, EdD · Apr 23, 2012

agree with mindlor. Don't read too much in to the conversation. You and he need to sit down and talk and put it on paper. If it does not work now it may be worthwhile in the future.

ivikatasha · Apr 23, 2012

I am not sure how many supplies and other stuff you will need for your particular school, but first semester costs, not including tuition, were over $1000. Books, testing package, uniform, online require resources, insurance, required medical tests before class start, etc. Also for me I have had to get books not even on the book list, which is more money.

Feistn · Apr 23, 2012

What about getting your CNA certification this summer? You'd probably make at least as much money as you would with a circulation clerk job, and if you get a good reputation as a worker, they'll find a way to keep you working while you're in nursing school. You can also get reimbursed for the cost of your CNA course if you get hired at a medicare funded facility. And if you're lucky, some places will have tuition reimbursement or scholarships you might be eligible for. If you're barely making it, you can spend time looking into scholarships while you do your prerequisites.

For what it's worth, when I decided I wanted to go to nursing school, I didn't tell my husband I needed to. I said I wanted to, and we figured out how it could happen. Is it possible to postpone it another year? I don't think I would do it if it meant we couldn't make ends meet. You might not be making that much, but you are making something.