Help! Being stalked by a resident!!!

Nurses General Nursing

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So, I get out of work last night, and there's a text from a number I don't know. The person spelled my name wrong, which I find odd, but I brush it off..no biggie.

So today I'm in a room, and I get a call from my charge nurse. S, please come talk to me at the front desk as soon as you can. Apparently someone called and was like, "This is a resident. I need S's phone number." Luckily my charge nurse, said, "uhhh...there is no number." and hung up. Too weird and embarrassing.

Later, I'm getting some chapstick out of my locker, and there's a new text message from the unknown number. It is longer, etc, and then, has a name. Of course, this isn't the MD's given name, but nickname. So, I go to charge and explain who this might be.

I met this guy last week while he was rounding, and he was cute and friendly, but I got red flags right away. Every time he saw me, he would address me repeatedly by my first name. Like, S, how are you doing. Oh S, the pt in 28 requires 2 U PRBCs. S, Can you order them. It just struck me as odd..but I brushed him off as an eager resident trying to be friendly.

What concerns me now is, how did he get my cell phone number? Did he go in our private personnel/floor phone book and write it down? Creepy!

Well, there's no question that he went about this the wrong way.

But he's just either very shy or very conceited. Only time will tell which.

:)

Specializes in ICU.

Change your cell and be done with it,...do NOT post your new one in the general view of anyone. It would creep me out too and is probably just bad manners.:uhoh3:

This is something that needs to rise up through the chain of command by your nurse manager. This resident should be reported to the Medical Affairs office, and ultimately to the Chief of Medical Affairs. This is an HR issue and this behavior by the resident is very close to being illegal. There are laws against pursuing relationships between coworkers, especially when the advances are unwanted. Do not delay - talk to your nurse manager. Residents are expected to uphold the highest of ethics, and this is an ethical violation as well. It makes me wonder what kind of professional this guy is with patients. If he feels free to harass you, what will stop him from a patient violation? Hop on it, this is serious stuff that needs to stop. You will in no way be punished, written up, etc. Laws are laws!

Specializes in CDI Supervisor; Formerly NICU.
Specializes in Family Practice/Primary Care.

Tell your charge or NM what you are going to do.

Take him to a side, away from everyone, and lay it out that you are not interested, but don't be harsh about it. Have your NM near enough to hear, but looking like she is uninvolved.

If this solves it, cool. If he tries to retaliate, now you have a witness and can take it from there. Give the guy the benefit of the doubt, I remember when I was 10, I acted sort of the same way.

Specializes in Corrections, Cardiac, Hospice.

I dunno. I am a firm believer in intuition. She said she got red flags right away. I would tell him sorry, not interested. If he continues I would absolutely go up the chain of command.

Here is another person that is very happy to be married.:yeah:

Specializes in Operating Room.

They say to follow your intuition..if she got red flags from this guy, then she shouldn't make apologies to anyone. I think it's creepy too that he tried to get her phone number the sneaky way. Yes, he could just be a maladjusted moron and not a psycho. But, does the OP really want to find out which one he is, the hard way?

OP,at any rate, I'd talk to his attending/s. Maybe they can set him straight. And you shouldn't be made to feel like you're overreacting either. Our jobs can be difficult enough and now you have to be stressed out over someone else's poor behaviour? Do you have any heavily muscled, tough guy male friends? You could send one of them to set him straight too. I have done this in the past...it works.;) And no, I'm not saying they need to beat him up...just stand there looking mean while you tell the twerp to shove off!

Specializes in ER,ICU,L+D,OR.

Can not say I have ever seen a resident be that immature.

Talk with the attending.

If that doesnt work I know a few male nurse that will convince him of the error of his ways.

Specializes in UR/PA, Hematology/Oncology, Med Surg, Psych.
This is something that needs to rise up through the chain of command by your nurse manager. This resident should be reported to the Medical Affairs office, and ultimately to the Chief of Medical Affairs. This is an HR issue and this behavior by the resident is very close to being illegal. There are laws against pursuing relationships between coworkers, especially when the advances are unwanted. Do not delay - talk to your nurse manager. Residents are expected to uphold the highest of ethics, and this is an ethical violation as well. It makes me wonder what kind of professional this guy is with patients. If he feels free to harass you, what will stop him from a patient violation? Hop on it, this is serious stuff that needs to stop. You will in no way be punished, written up, etc. Laws are laws!

I disagree with this. I certainly don't think this resident's behavior has risen to the level that his career needs to be harmed. Just give your NM a head's up to the situation, then let him know that you are not interested in him. If and only if he continues or escalates his behavior do you need to get others involved.

Specializes in ER/Trauma.
Egads.
You got that right...

Geez...what ever happened to direct communication? Just talk to him and then if he continues to bug you go through your chain of command. I can see why it bothered you but come on with all this weird advice :bugeyes:. He is -- as has already been stated -- probably just a dumbazz. He'll most likely turn red when you talk to him and hang his head and say he's sorry...

Don't wreck the guy's career -- just set him straight so he can get back on the path.

Specializes in NICU.

Just text him back and tell him you aren't interested. In this new world of technology you don't even have to confront him. Then the next time you see him just keep it professional. If he mentions anything about it just laugh it off.

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