Having a hard time fitting in!

AlishiaRN77 · Apr 9, 2010

Hang in there. I'm sorry that you are having a hard time. I have a feeling I may be in the same boat as you come August. I have been accepted to a nursing program in a different area then where I have been taking my prereq classes.

I think the best option, at least this is my thought process, is to continue working hard through nursing school. It's not really a time for socializing, etc. Yes it would be great to get into a "study group" and perhaps that will come along once clinicals start.

I'm hoping that I will find myself in a situation that will allow for this to happen.

I'm shy as well but study very hard to get the grades that i have. Certainly nursing school is going to be a lot harder and the nonexsistent social life will continue throughout...but in the end...i'll have my license.

Striving to do well for yourself is what's going to make the experience through nursing school the best. In time, people will notice (if you want them to) or you'll find a group that fits your needs the most. Allow yourself some time to adjust to the changes and life will bless you with wonderful friends.

Future RN! · Apr 9, 2010

Having a good friend(s) can make a huge difference in your whole experience in nursing school! I don't want you to have to dread breaks and feel like an outsider because that will burn you out quickly! My best advice is to just take a seat beside someone and start up a conversation. Talk about an upcoming test, jobs, the teacher/class, just anything you think you may have in common. After you make one friend it is easier to network and become a "friend of a friend's". The hardest part is breaking the ice! Some times if you feel uncomfortable or out of place it is difficult to be yourself, so just relax and do the best you can! Before class, make a point to sit near some classmates and talk to them. Start slow, just asking them questions about themselves makes you seem more approachable.

After talking to a few of your classmates, I am sure you will hit it off with someone..then just ask if they would like to do lunch or study together.:) Hope this helped a little!

Are you in nursing school?

Britt

beth66335, BSN, RN · Apr 10, 2010

If you haven't started clinicals yet then hold on! Once I started clinicals we all had to help each others so friendships formed faster. Plus, in clinicals you sometimes have amusing things happen with patients and laughter is very bonding!

allnurses Guide · Apr 10, 2010

All the above. And BE the friend you want to HAVE. If you are friendly and open and willing to put yourself out there, others WILL respond in kind. Being shy is painful and hard, I know...but if you are feeling the crunch, take the risk. You say you are already alone, so what do you have to lose? Look for others like yourself and approach them. Wave when you see your classmates. Heck, just make eye contact and smile and say Hi.

It is scary, but easier than it seems on the surface. I know social anxiety is hard to muster through. Do your best, be friendly, approachable and helpful and you will find others who mesh with you. I hope this resolves soon and you start getting some confidence to carry you through :)

addiesmom · Apr 10, 2010

I agree, wait until you get to clinical. I am she myself, but I have experienced enough, and know what it takes for me to open up. I went to my orientation and thought, wow, these ppl are not that friendly. I am not discouraged by this. I know that when I am in clinicals, I will make bonds with people that will hopefully be my friends for a long time. I know it is hard, but you just have to put yourself out there. There might be people that are still **tches, but you just have to put that aside. I, myself, am going to a school were I do not know anyone, but I would rather it that way. I am not clinging on to the one person I know. You can do it, you just have to force yourself a lil bit. If you want to, you can pm me.....

addiesmom · Apr 10, 2010

And know that there are most likely people that feel the same exact way as you do

daylightfadin · Apr 10, 2010

When I started school I didn't know a soul!! I didn't even know the area. I felt completely out of place and at first i just sat by myself, too. But then I was assigned a "desk buddy" and we started talking. And gradually we started talking to other people. Now most of us are inseparable. Just hang in there. You will make friends. Don't be afraid to open up to people...There might be someone else in the class who feels the same as you and is hoping to make a friend!!

Take care and good luck with school

llg, PhD, RN · Apr 10, 2010

Don't push it too hard. That will just make you look desparate and pathetic -- and that image only attracts pity, not friends.

Let it happen naturally. Be nice to people. Smile. Be helpful when you can. Try to interact with your classmates in ways that develop naturally from the situation. Slowly, you will all get to know each other better -- particularly when labs and clinicals start.

Shellyanne · Apr 10, 2010

I don't think you should worry. Having friends in nursing school is only a good experience if it's the right friend. Study hard, and participate. I'm sure people notice you but don't approach you because they think you want to be left alone. You must be a nice a person if your asking how to make friends. All it takes is one sentence to start a conversation, so start one and let me know how it goes.....Good luck:)

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · Apr 10, 2010

I just started school and I'm having a really hard time - not with the classes but with the social aspect. It seems like everyone already has already made friends and has split into groups. I feel totally left out and I dread time between classes because I usually spend it alone. I'm a shy person so going up to other students and starting conversations is hard for me. I'm really frustrated and pretty upset. What is your advice?

How long have you been in school? It took a few weeks before I really found a group I meshed well with and liked and now I couldn't imagine having to go through school. There were a few people in the beginning I thought could be cool and in time after getting to know people I am SO GLAD I ended up with the group I did. Also when you get to starting clinicals and stuff you will have a group and might find some people you end up fitting with as well.

I know in the end it's about you getting your degree and people say you aren't there to make friends and stuff but unless your the type of personality that doesn't like social interaction and stuff, it can have an impact on your time in school.

Give it a little time and see how things go. Hopefully you can at least find one person that you can relate well with. I am betting you will once things settle down and stuff. :)

CBsMommy · Apr 10, 2010

I am one of those people that does not have to make life-long friends through nursing school. I have enough friends on the outside of school. I did have a couple of "fair-weather friends" however one of them asked to cheat off me, one of them was using me for homework and the other one folded under the pressure and yelled at me because I was trying to help her (after she asked). And, when I needed a little help, you know who was there? No one!

I'm not saying that is the experience that you will have, I'm just saying that I pretty much stay to myself and I'm one of the top people in my class. During breaks between classes, I study. Before class, I study. After tests, I study.

I'm nice to everyone but I can't see myself making any "life long friends". And, that's okay. I'm at school for training for a new career to make my son's and my life better. Good luck to you but honestly, I wouldn't worry about it!