I've been working at my current job for almost 3 months. Just a few week off orientation working independently.
Last night I worked with 2 other nurses. One happened to be another new nurse. The nurse that had been there longer had the nastiest attitude I've ever seen. From the moment she saw the assignment posted on the board you could just tell she was upset. I'm not sure why, maybe because she would be working with the two newest nurses? She complained, rolled her eyes, made us feel like she didn't want us to be working with her, made it clear that a certain area was hers, very unhelpful as well. It was completely unprofessional.
I notified the nurse manager. Apparently they are good friends, so that wasn't very helpful with the plan that the two of them had come up with. So I sent an email to someone one step higher than my nurse manager. We'll find out today if anything has changed. Apparently this wasn't the first time that this has been an issue with this nurse. Almost makes me feel like I found the wrong job because of this one employee. Advice? Opinions? Similar situations? Please share, thank you.
Exactly. RN's used to command respect from every one they worked with. It is not like that any more. And why are women so ugly to each other? Shouldn't we have each other's backs? I know there is always going to be that person you instantly dislike but if you can't say anything nice then just be quiet. I have worked with some great people and for that I am thankful. I try to learn something from dealing with the others.
Exactly.RN's used to command respect from every one they worked with. It is not like that any more. And why are women so ugly to each other? Shouldn't we have each other's backs? I know there is always going to be that person you instantly dislike but if you can't say anything nice then just be quiet. I have worked with some great people and for that I am thankful. I try to learn something from dealing with the others.
They did? That must've been back in 1960 when nurses stood when the doctor entered, gave up their seat to him, brought him coffee and lit his cigarette.
Exactly. RN's used to command respect from every one they worked with. It is not like that any more. And why are women so ugly to each other? Shouldn't we have each other's backs? I know there is always going to be that person you instantly dislike but if you can't say anything nice then just be quiet. I have worked with some great people and for that I am thankful. I try to learn something from dealing with the others.
It's definitely not just women. Some men I have worked with were real rats. Conniving, lying, favoring their buddies. Oh, yeah. Not just women.
OP, what's happening with you? I hope you are OK.
Some people are just miserable, they bring their misery and frustration to work, but it probably has very little if anything to do with you specifically.
As everyone else has said, it's best to solve problems at your level. And try very hard to never go over your immediate supervisor's head.
They did? That must've been back in 1960 when nurses stood when the doctor entered, gave up their seat to him, brought him coffee and lit his cigarette.
Watch some old movies with nurses training at a particular hospital, then working there, then running the place and teaching students. And yes - no one dared to give them any lip.
If not respected they were, at least, feared. I think fear is better, LOL.
I think it's good to help the docs. If only we still had time to do so...
@Rnnluvnit2006...By far this was the best reply. I have met all kinds of attitudes during my years nursing. I can clearly see some of the good, bad, and ugly characters by reading these replies. However 2 ears and one mouth is my motto. Solve things with rachete nurses via the 1:1 method only when it's a matter of losing your sanity from their shenanigans. Other than that, suck it up and put on your big girl panties.
I learned many years ago (before I was even a nurse) to observe but keep my mouth shut as a new employee. It is difficult when you are new because you are nervous, sensitive, and insecure. It takes a LONG time (months maybe a year) for all the coworker relationship dynamics to reveal themselves! I tried to be friendly with everyone but also just keep a low profile. It takes a while to learn who you can trust, who has a big mouth, which people are close, which coworkers secretly don't like each other. I am always surprised to learn: which coworkers are actually friends, which coworkers are secretly dating, which people are managements darlings, which people are harmless and which people are dangerous to tangle with. Unfortunately it's very hard to repair damaged professional relationships. When you are a new employee (1 year or less) keep your head down and observe, observe, observe.
Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
Although not a nursing position, when I worked as a bus driver, I stayed away from most drivers because they passed snide remarks or directly picked on me. For example; I had EMT plates on my car so police would know I was legal and in NY state it was a requirement for an EMT to stop if he/she came upon a wreck and no help was around. That particular person said; "empty" when he went past my car and saw the plates on it. His wife, also a driver, tried to get me to admit to some sexual thing that I didn't participate in, and told me she did. I just sat in the back of the bus and said nothing.
When my boss saw what was going on, he gave me special trips away from them, and when I was driving for the school students, I sat in my bus by myself.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Yes I worked with someone and handed off report to a nurse who screamed at me in front of a patient until I cried. I was 8 weeks postpartum (and overly emotional). I was a new hire and it was my first day on the unit. the nurse who was showing me the unit and supposed to be orienting me disappeared half the shift and I had no idea how to use the charting system. Because of this I was behind and not everything was as neat and tidy as it should have been. The foleys weren't dumped and a colostomy bag was half full. All meds/treatments and the important stuff was done,but this was still a big issue for this nurse.
I didn't complain but because of how much she had yelled, the other nurses overheard and reported to and she had to apologize. I proved myself as competent but always kept my distance. She said to me a year later, "are you ever going to forgive me?" I said, "the past is the past but you showed who you are and frankly short of work I have no reason or desire to interact with you." This was lateral violence. Your coworker with a poor attitude and the escalation was perhaps too advanced for the situation. You will encounter these types the rest of your career. I still do, now I ignore them because you cannot and will not be able to change them. A bad attitude is unfortunately going to happen with some always, but it's far different then verbal insults and those sorts of things.
You should have talked to this coworker first. It likely had little to do with you.
You know, that co-worker asked you for forgiveness. This was an opportunity for you to be the bigger person and extend it to her. Frankly, I feel sorry for her. We all will have days that we will not be at our best, and that includes you. Maybe you're not the type to scream, but the day may come when someone may feel hurt or intimidated by your actions, and you may be in the position to be asking for forgiveness. You may be thankful for the grace your co-worker gave you that you denied your own colleague.
I disagree that some of these people can't be changed. There have been examples in this thread and in others where the nurses were able to resolve their conflicts with others and become valued colleagues. To just shun someone without making any effort to improve your working relationship with him/her actually creates the same hostile atmosphere many new nurses complain about.
And it bears repeating: eyeball rolling is not lateral violence.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I hope you are not proud of your part in this interaction. "Frankly short of work I have no reason or desire to interact with you"? This nurse approached you in an attempt to put the past behind the two of you and you went nuclear on her. The workplace -- especially OUR workplace, where teamwork and communication are such a big part of keeping patients safe -- is no place to nurture enemies. In this case, YOUR attitude was bad, and the lateral violence was on your part as much as anyone else's. While it is true that you cannot change anyone else, you CAN work WITH them instead of nursing grudges. I hope your attitude improves.
Some other venerable nursing publications use the terms "bullying" and "lateral violence" for it. Personally, I think the term disruptive behavior is a bit more apt... Bottom line, all the three preceding classes of behavior don't exactly foster patient safety.
Some excerpts from link above:
Examples of Disruptive Behavior
• Targeting individuals for mistreatment
• Belittling or denigrating someone's opinion
• Using condescending language and attitude
• Engaging in patronizing nonverbal communications, such as eye rolling, raised eyebrows, smirking, and so on
• Refusing to answer legitimate questions
• Incessantly criticizing, finding fault, and scapegoating
• Displaying an attitude of superiority regarding another's knowledge, experience, and/or skills
• Undermining the effectiveness of a person or team
• Spreading rumors and making false accusations
• Putting staff members in conflict with each other
• Engaging in tantrums and angry outbursts
• Engaging in unnecessary disruption
• Assaulting a fellow employee
Factors Contributing to Behaviors that Undermine a Culture of Safety
• High-stress environments
• High patient acuity
• Increased productivity demands
• Cost-containment requirements
• Embedded hierarchies
• Daily changes in shifts, rotations, and support staff
clair14
1 Post
What an intense thread! As a student RPN, this has certainly given me food for thought! Many thanks!!