I've been working at my current job for almost 3 months. Just a few week off orientation working independently.
Last night I worked with 2 other nurses. One happened to be another new nurse. The nurse that had been there longer had the nastiest attitude I've ever seen. From the moment she saw the assignment posted on the board you could just tell she was upset. I'm not sure why, maybe because she would be working with the two newest nurses? She complained, rolled her eyes, made us feel like she didn't want us to be working with her, made it clear that a certain area was hers, very unhelpful as well. It was completely unprofessional.
I notified the nurse manager. Apparently they are good friends, so that wasn't very helpful with the plan that the two of them had come up with. So I sent an email to someone one step higher than my nurse manager. We'll find out today if anything has changed. Apparently this wasn't the first time that this has been an issue with this nurse. Almost makes me feel like I found the wrong job because of this one employee. Advice? Opinions? Similar situations? Please share, thank you.
While the nurse's attitude may have been unfriendly, was it really worth an email to the supervisor and then another email going above? I would save such drastic actions for extreme acts involving patient safety. Was it the first night you worked with this nurse? For all you know, her feelings might not have anything to do with you. Maybe she got horrible news before shift. One day I had to put down my puppy and go right back to work the next morning. Was I in a great mood? No. It's not an excuse to be mean to others, but you never know what someone else is dealing with.
I would just let this drop, don't bring it up again. If you feel this person has a bad attitude, just go about your business. If she asks you for help, be helpful, then get back to what you were doing. She may have been burned by another new nurse and just has her guard up, who knows. You can show her that you are worth trusting. We can't change other people and a less than stellar attitude may not be pleasant for you but it's harmless. You will need thick skin throughout your nursing career to get past doctors who yell at you or techs that sass you.
Yes I worked with someone and handed off report to a nurse who screamed at me in front of a patient until I cried. I was 8 weeks postpartum (and overly emotional). I was a new hire and it was my first day on the unit. the nurse who was showing me the unit and supposed to be orienting me disappeared half the shift and I had no idea how to use the charting system. Because of this I was behind and not everything was as neat and tidy as it should have been. The foleys weren't dumped and a colostomy bag was half full. All meds/treatments and the important stuff was done,but this was still a big issue for this nurse.
I didn't complain but because of how much she had yelled, the other nurses overheard and reported to and she had to apologize. I proved myself as competent but always kept my distance. She said to me a year later, "are you ever going to forgive me?" I said, "the past is the past but you showed who you are and frankly short of work I have no reason or desire to interact with you." This was lateral violence. Your coworker with a poor attitude and the escalation was perhaps too advanced for the situation. You will encounter these types the rest of your career. I still do, now I ignore them because you cannot and will not be able to change them. A bad attitude is unfortunately going to happen with some always, but it's far different then verbal insults and those sorts of things.
You should have talked to this coworker first. It likely had little to do with you.
I can relate to working with someone who seems off or to have an "attitude." I feel we need to give people a chance, especially when its our first time working with them. Anyone can perceive us in exactly the same way even if nothing was intended. I see this so often. We don't know the kinds of stresses and other life issues that people are dealing with and vice versa, so give people a chance and try to get to know them a little better before labeling them. Give it some time. Communication is so critical to the safety of our patients, so always try to keep a positive attitude and keep the communication lines open.
My personal mantra is: Treat others like you want to be treated (NOT preaching). I don't like to be dragged into the NM's office so I don't want to be the cause of others' problems. There are Debbie Downers absolutely everywhere and while you can't control the actions of your coworkers you can control your attitude and behavior. Try to be positive, if you can.
At a prior job (not nursing) I criticized another employee to my mentor, thinking I knew best. She reeled me in quickly and taught me an important lesson: as a newbie or even when you're not new, you do NOT go around criticizing for harmless stuff. Save the complaints for the truly unsafe situations. I got a good lesson in butting out and choosing my battles. Should I make stink about someone who I think is not as nice or doesn't work efficiently like I do? No. And ALWAYS go to the source or better still live and let live. If it isn't harming patients or some violation of protocol I'd leave it alone. Keep the main thing the main thing.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
While the nurse's attitude may have been unfriendly, was it really worth an email to the supervisor and then another email going above? I would save such drastic actions for extreme acts involving patient safety. Was it the first night you worked with this nurse? For all you know, her feelings might not have anything to do with you. Maybe she got horrible news before shift. One day I had to put down my puppy and go right back to work the next morning. Was I in a great mood? No. It's not an excuse to be mean to others, but you never know what someone else is dealing with.
I would just let this drop, don't bring it up again. If you feel this person has a bad attitude, just go about your business. If she asks you for help, be helpful, then get back to what you were doing. She may have been burned by another new nurse and just has her guard up, who knows. You can show her that you are worth trusting. We can't change other people and a less than stellar attitude may not be pleasant for you but it's harmless. You will need thick skin throughout your nursing career to get past doctors who yell at you or techs that sass you.
I think your post is spot-on except for one small thing. The OP has already shown all of her colleagues that she is NOT worth trusting. She's going to have a mighty uphill battle to get past that.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Yes I worked with someone and handed off report to a nurse who screamed at me in front of a patient until I cried. I was 8 weeks postpartum (and overly emotional). I was a new hire and it was my first day on the unit. the nurse who was showing me the unit and supposed to be orienting me disappeared half the shift and I had no idea how to use the charting system. Because of this I was behind and not everything was as neat and tidy as it should have been. The foleys weren't dumped and a colostomy bag was half full. All meds/treatments and the important stuff was done,but this was still a big issue for this nurse.
I didn't complain but because of how much she had yelled, the other nurses overheard and reported to and she had to apologize. I proved myself as competent but always kept my distance. She said to me a year later, "are you ever going to forgive me?" I said, "the past is the past but you showed who you are and frankly short of work I have no reason or desire to interact with you." This was lateral violence. Your coworker with a poor attitude and the escalation was perhaps too advanced for the situation. You will encounter these types the rest of your career. I still do, now I ignore them because you cannot and will not be able to change them. A bad attitude is unfortunately going to happen with some always, but it's far different then verbal insults and those sorts of things.
You should have talked to this coworker first. It likely had little to do with you.
I hope you are not proud of your part in this interaction. "Frankly short of work I have no reason or desire to interact with you"? This nurse approached you in an attempt to put the past behind the two of you and you went nuclear on her. The workplace -- especially OUR workplace, where teamwork and communication are such a big part of keeping patients safe -- is no place to nurture enemies. In this case, YOUR attitude was bad, and the lateral violence was on your part as much as anyone else's. While it is true that you cannot change anyone else, you CAN work WITH them instead of nursing grudges. I hope your attitude improves.
Specializes in Peds Urology,primary care, hem/onc.
I have been a nurse for 18 years and an PNP for 11 years. Like ANY job, you have to learn to get along with ALL personalities. Nursing being high stress means you have to have patience with people. You have to learn to give people the benefit of the doubt and CHOOSE your battles. I worked for a doctor's office for 4 years and there were a few nurses I worked with that were like the OP. They ran to our manager about EVERY LITTLE THING and then our manager ran to the "offender" to "discuss". It was ridiculous. I remember one incident where I was scheduled to be the late nurse. We were done seeing all the patients in the back, everyone was going home and I went to the desk where our phone nurse worked (handling phone triage). The computer screen was black (which I assumed meant off), chair pushed in and she was nowhere to be seen. My assessment of what I saw concluded she was done (phones had already been rolled over to the answering service) handling all the patient messages b/c she appeared to have already left (which was not unusual as it was a large office with a lot of employees, you did not see everyone as they left for the day). So I left. This was on a Friday. Sure enough, I walk in Monday morning and barely got my coat off when my manager pulls me into her office and have to listen to being scolded for five minutes b/c apparently this nurse had NOT left and she went running into the manager's office first thing that morning. The whole time I was being lectured, in my head I was saying, "really?". All she had to do was come to me, call me out on it and I would have apologized and let her know that I honestly thought she was done and had left. I did not have the reputation of always leaving without checking to make sure everyone else was done, this was the first time it had happened. A mountain was made out of a molehill. Was ridiculous.
Compare that to my current working environment. I have worked there as a PNP for 11 years. Our chief is known for his short temper. He tends to get very over stimulated (too many patients, too many calls needing him in 5 places at once etc) and can have his meltdowns. They are typically brief, we typically let him blow off steam and then he feels better and we move on. Is it ideal, no it isn't. BUT, he is an amazing physician, runs our division very well and always stands up for us to the powers that be in the hospital. SO, I learned to choose my battles. He has been at my place of employment for 25 + years. He is not going anywhere. I have periodically looked for jobs over the years but I do not think any opportunities that I have seen are any better than where I am now so I have stayed at my job. My actual job and patients I take care of, I love and I am good at it. I have gone to management about him TWICE in 11 years. 5-6 years ago he started getting on my case (for no reason) for a good 3-4 months. He put me on his radar and decided nothing I did was good enough and he was ALWAYS on my case. after 5 months I had enough and went to our lead NP in the hospital (who is all of the NP's manager) and just had a heart to heart with her b/c I was having trouble dealing with him. I have NO idea what was said to him, but he pulled me aside a few weeks later and basically groveled at my feet and apologized. The two of us have never had an issue since then.
Move forward to last year, he had a good 6 months where his behavior was completely OFF the charts. Verbally abusive (and I am not using that lightly), he was erratic, short tempered, lacked impulse control, was totally making up things he perceived were happening that weren't etc. I seriously was worried about his mental health b/c he really was THAT bad. He was not directing any of this directly to me, but he was to our nurses (in front of me). It was so bad, one of our nurses, after being out our institution for 30 years, took early retirement (and that is NOT why he was acting that way, no one wanted her to leave). I felt I HAD to do something to advocate for my nurses (b/c I was a witness) so I initially took it to the same lead NP I did previously and THEN was encouraged by her to take it to the lead administrator for the practice. Guess what, I was HEARD. They believed EVERYTHING I was saying and knew I was not exaggerating. Why, because in 11 years, I NEVER lodged a complaint like this before (and he has a reputation for his short fuse). I was thanked for handling the situation so professionally. And it got a lot better. I am not sure how they handled it (b/c they keep discipline quiet) but he has gone back to normal (I swear he went off some kind of medication and restarted it). He apologized to the nurse that retired (and she, in the end, was happy that she did retire).
Moral of the story? Pick your battles. Learn to work with difficult personalities. In an ideal world, you should never have to work with difficult people, but that is not the real world. If you can work with difficult people, if they ever truly start bullying you (Like our chief did), your chances of being believed are MUCH better when you take it to management. When you have a difficult person, try to see things from their point of view with their personality. Maybe they are overloaded, they de-compansate. I know, from feedback I have gotten over the years, when I am REALLY stressed, I get short. I do not mean to, and I try really hard not to, but I do. I am grateful that the people I work with, see when I am having a bad day and overlook it, just like I do them.
Healthcare is stressful. There are A LOT of demands on all of us from ALL disciplines. You have to learn to deal with difficult people. You also have to do your own assessment, b/c none of us are angels. We ALL have times when WE are difficult too. When you are having your OWN moment, nice when your coworkers over look it and give YOU the benefit of the doubt.
This thread is thought-provoking, with a lot of good input. I still must say that do not think that incivility should be accepted as a norm in our workplace. I am not saying it will not occur, but I think it should be rare. --I suppose I may be too idealistic. --I think incivility stems from institutions pressing workers to do more with less (poor ratios, inadequate equipment/supplies, etc.), hierarchical structures, complacency, and habits. --I think workers deserve good working conditions---in the interest of patient safety.
On another note, I also don't think that individuals should run to management with each infraction. I think workers should communicate directly with one another, and escalate only if needed. Running to management with every little thing, rather than working things out directly does not make for a good culture, either.
I think this article adds to this discussion... "What Has Happened to Respect in Healthcare?" by Carolyn Buppert, MSN, JD. Medscape: Medscape Access
I was brand new on a job and had one fellow nurse that had everyone fooled. She would smile and hug fellow employees and then turn around and say the nastiest things about them and me. I tried figuring out why she didn't like me and treated me so bad from the start. After 3 months I finally had enough and quit. When I told my supervisor why, she said I should have come to her sooner. Really? After listening to what y'all say and knowing this nurse was putting on a false personality and was so good at it that everyone believed she was so nice.....I had no choice but to quit. It was a smart move. It was an adolescent psyche hospital. I was glad to get out.
I'm all for respectful and hospitable work environments. I believe there is a certain standard that adults and professionals should be held to.
One thing slightly off topic I've noticed is generational differences.
Every heard of "safe spaces" on college campuses? That wave of the entitled and delicate will be coming through the hospital doors soon and some day be in positions of power. I would venture that workplaces will have "safe spaces" soon, so nobody has to feel uncomfortable and serious consequences will be given to those causing offense.
chacha82, ADN, BSN
626 Posts
While the nurse's attitude may have been unfriendly, was it really worth an email to the supervisor and then another email going above? I would save such drastic actions for extreme acts involving patient safety. Was it the first night you worked with this nurse? For all you know, her feelings might not have anything to do with you. Maybe she got horrible news before shift. One day I had to put down my puppy and go right back to work the next morning. Was I in a great mood? No. It's not an excuse to be mean to others, but you never know what someone else is dealing with.
I would just let this drop, don't bring it up again. If you feel this person has a bad attitude, just go about your business. If she asks you for help, be helpful, then get back to what you were doing. She may have been burned by another new nurse and just has her guard up, who knows. You can show her that you are worth trusting. We can't change other people and a less than stellar attitude may not be pleasant for you but it's harmless. You will need thick skin throughout your nursing career to get past doctors who yell at you or techs that sass you.