Have anxiety issues over making friends

[krazykchan]

I have one week until classes start for me. I know that many new nursing students start to feel anxious around this time. I am not so worried about the work, clinicals or anything like that. I'm actually excited about diving my nose into the books again. I thrive when I'm super busy in academia and I love it. (Most of the time. )

The one thing I am having anxious thoughts and a sick feeling to my stomach about is making friends. I am going into this program with no established friends or study groups. I do recognize a few faces here and there because many of my fellow new nursing students were in the pre-req classes with me.

Don't misunderstand me. I do have friends! Many of them are back in my hometown. I have been living in the current city I live now for 4 years and only have 2-3 established friendships. I did have more but I ended those due to drama and I do not want drama in my life.

I tend to be very quiet and reserved around others, especially women. This is because I am a geek through and through. I love sci fi stuff, gory b-rated horror movies, anything that involves dragons and swords, computer related stuff (I build my own). I'm 24 and still watch some Anime. My main hobby is gaming (board and video). I like anything relating to zombies. My fiance is just like me. We spend our weekends together playing either a video game or an MMO video game (like world of warcraft). I also tend to have a weird way of looking at things and I am known to be loud when you know me well. (I never do it in a professional setting though!) I am not ashamed to like or do these things. However, I have tried to make friends in the past only to have us part ways eventually because of the lack of interest in each other's hobbies. (I can only stand talk about shoes or manicures for so long! )

I have yet to meet anyone in my nursing school who I feel like I can bond with. I know that your friends don't necessarily need to like the same things as you. However, I feel that a lot of my interests are instant turn-offs in the friends department. Incidentally, I have MANY friends online in the games that I play.

In nursing school, the topics of almost everybody's conversations will be related to classes. However, I do know that sometimes you just want to take a break and chit chat about other things. I do REALLY well in a good study group. I like being able to shoot ideas off other people.

I'm just worried that even if I do get into a good study group then that is maybe all it will ever be. Maybe I want to get invited out for drinks after a test every once in a while ya know? I want to be able to look forward to seeing certain people in class. Someone that I can shoot the s**t with, know what I mean?

[llg, PhD, RN]

You don't need to be "social friends" or "personal friends" in school. What you need are "positive professional relationships." So don't put too much importance on the personal friends thing and stress yourself out.

Smile, be polite, listen to what other people want to say about their personal lives, etc. and strive for pleasant interactions that are supportive to your classmates. (Stay away from the drama queens if you can.) That should suffice for the first semester or two -- and give you a chance to develop a reputation for being an OK person while you figure out the lay of the land.

If you find some people you would like to be a little closer to, invest some effort into finding (or developing) some common ground. That might mean watching a few TV shows that you wouldn't normally watch ... or a movie ... or something. For example, I started watching "Dancing with the Stars" not because I wanted to, but because that's what my coworkers talked about at lunch regularly. (I just can't get into that whole "American Idol" drama.)

Everybody eats. So, you can talk about food, diets, restaurants, cooking, etc. You can always ask, "Do you have any special plans for the weekend?" or "Did you do anything special over the weekend?" and listen attentively as they answer.

You don't need to have a lot of common ground to have the kind of positive relationships you need in a professional or school setting. )You don't need to do things together when you are not in school.) You just need to smile, be polite, and appear a little interested in other people. The nice ones will meet you half way.

Good luck.

[Newbiestudent]

omg, i can relate to u so much!

lol

i'm also worried about making friends in nursing school..

i do not know anyone there, it's the first time i've seen them.

We had our orientation already, and i felt like i wouldn't make any close friends amongst them. I just didn't feel any connections with anyone and they mostly formed "groups" already...and i don't wanna be the person to "butt in"... >.

Well, i have a different interest than u though, and it will sound "unfamiliar" to most people here in the U.S. but i'm really into "kpop" it's Korean music industry, i love korean drama,movies and especially kpop. which is korean pop.

so yeah..

i mean, i can't really give u advice sorry...lol

coz we're on the same boat.

and i'm also shy and quiet when i first meet a person, but if i become comfortable enough with u, i can be really talkative too.

So I guess maybe just try to be more friendly to everyone, ur only going to be with them for 2 years anyways, so i'm sure u'll meet new friends that u can really relate to when u graduate :)

[RunninDad]

With the amount of work you're about to have, I wouldn't be going out of my way to look for friends. Make friends when you have your degree an are working =D But in all honesty, study groups will be formed once classes start. be proactive and throw your name/number/email out there so things can get setup. While you're in your study groups, I guarantee you'll have no issue making friends as time goes on. you'll find a core people you enjoy learning/working with and this post will be ancient history to you. You have the right mindset when you think about going to school and nose diving in to the books! Don't worry about making friends. They'll come in time, IF you have the time, lol!

[HappyMeNow]

You know I've found to be strange about nursing school? Regardless of what your interests and hobbies are, you build a super strong bond with your classmates. You might be from different decades even, and you still learn to care about them. I think it's because our nursing program was so hard that we all just looked out for each other.

You may not hang out with each other and call each other when you're not school together, but that's because what's left of your free time should be spent with your older friends and family. However, when you're sitting in class and standing around in clinicals, your classmates will be there and they will help each other out.

[ShantheRN, BSN, RN]

We've often joked that nursing school is like a cult. Trust me....you'll become acquaintances at the very least with the majority of your fellow students, if only because you share the same pain. I've lost track of how many times I've had convos with random people in the skills lab. I couldn't tell you a name, but I know what class they're in!

This is true of me - the outspoken ex bartender - and the quietest wallflower that manages to pipe up with her two cents now. In this case, misery does love company :)

[ashleyisawesome, BSN, RN]

i know exactly how you feel! im going to be starting NS in January, at a new school thats about an hour away from my community college, where im finishing my prereqs, and i am pretty sure no one from my CC is going there.. (there are plenty of other NS in the area, including the CC's own program), so I wont even have people that I've seen before in prereqs to just be like "hey, i remember you from micro..", and I'm scared that there are going to be groups of people who had prereqs together at the CCs closer to the school who all stick together in little cliques because they already know eachother.

im pretty shy around new people, and at times i can come off as awkward. (my bf calls me frazzle tweet, because he says i always get myself all worked up and frazzled about silly things.. haha)

its not that i need these people to be my friends, i do have friends, i swear. haha but its just nice not to be the girl sitting at her desk staring at her her notes nervously waiting for the last group who doesn't have enough members to do the group work assignment to ask if she wants to join them-- out of pity..

okay, that sounded rather dramatic, but thats how it feels! i don't want to be the freakin class loner!

[kristi1111]

This is something that I am nervous about also because I have taken most of my prerequisites at another University so have a feeling I am going to be in classes with a lot of people whom I have never met but may already know each other since a lot of the students may have taken their prerequisites there. This University also has a tendency to attract more traditional students than nontraditional (which I am) and this also makes me a bit nervous about being able to fit in.

[whichone'spink, BSN, RN]

Oh don't worry about it. You will bond with people during group projects and during clinicals because you're all going through the same thing. And even if you don't become BFF with anyone, you'll at least be friendly with at least half the people in your classes.

[healthstar, BSN, RN]

I have no problem making friends. I get along and respect everybody. For some odd reason people get so freaking attached to me..it's like they know me for a long time. I am afraid to say "hello to classmates" once I say hello I get asked for my number lol.I have a problem getting rid of people. I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so I still keep in touch and help them.

[ruaalien2]

I wish you were going to NS with me! (D&D, video games..... yeah, I'm your girl!).

But just breathe and remember that your in school to learn, and as long as you can get along and bond over the work stuff everything else will fall into place!

[krazykchan]

Thanks for all the comments guys. I'm feeling better about the whole thing. I just get worried about the being the loner because, as someone already mentioned, there seems to be groups established already. I hope that I make at least one or two friendships that last outside of school but if not, I'll still have my current friends who will be there for me.

Good luck in classes everyone!