Have anxiety issues over making friends

Nursing Students General Students

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I have one week until classes start for me. I know that many new nursing students start to feel anxious around this time. I am not so worried about the work, clinicals or anything like that. I'm actually excited about diving my nose into the books again. I thrive when I'm super busy in academia and I love it. (Most of the time. :lol2:)

The one thing I am having anxious thoughts and a sick feeling to my stomach about is making friends. I am going into this program with no established friends or study groups. I do recognize a few faces here and there because many of my fellow new nursing students were in the pre-req classes with me.

Don't misunderstand me. I do have friends! Many of them are back in my hometown. I have been living in the current city I live now for 4 years and only have 2-3 established friendships. I did have more but I ended those due to drama and I do not want drama in my life.

I tend to be very quiet and reserved around others, especially women. This is because I am a geek through and through. I love sci fi stuff, gory b-rated horror movies, anything that involves dragons and swords, computer related stuff (I build my own). I'm 24 and still watch some Anime. My main hobby is gaming (board and video). I like anything relating to zombies. My fiance is just like me. We spend our weekends together playing either a video game or an MMO video game (like world of warcraft). I also tend to have a weird way of looking at things and I am known to be loud when you know me well. (I never do it in a professional setting though!) I am not ashamed to like or do these things. However, I have tried to make friends in the past only to have us part ways eventually because of the lack of interest in each other's hobbies. (I can only stand talk about shoes or manicures for so long! :uhoh3:)

I have yet to meet anyone in my nursing school who I feel like I can bond with. I know that your friends don't necessarily need to like the same things as you. However, I feel that a lot of my interests are instant turn-offs in the friends department. Incidentally, I have MANY friends online in the games that I play. :clown:

In nursing school, the topics of almost everybody's conversations will be related to classes. However, I do know that sometimes you just want to take a break and chit chat about other things. I do REALLY well in a good study group. I like being able to shoot ideas off other people.

I'm just worried that even if I do get into a good study group then that is maybe all it will ever be. Maybe I want to get invited out for drinks after a test every once in a while ya know? :D I want to be able to look forward to seeing certain people in class. Someone that I can shoot the s**t with, know what I mean?

I wish you were going to NS with me! (D&D, video games..... yeah, I'm your girl!).

But just breathe and remember that your in school to learn, and as long as you can get along and bond over the work stuff everything else will fall into place!

I'm sure that there is more of us geeks out there in NS!

I have a bit of social anxiety I must admit. (Must be why I gravitate towards the activities that I do! :lol2:) But I'm feeling better.

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With the amount of work you're about to have, I wouldn't be going out of my way to look for friends. Make friends when you have your degree an are working =D But in all honesty, study groups will be formed once classes start. be proactive and throw your name/number/email out there so things can get setup. While you're in your study groups, I guarantee you'll have no issue making friends as time goes on. you'll find a core people you enjoy learning/working with and this post will be ancient history to you. You have the right mindset when you think about going to school and nose diving in to the books! Don't worry about making friends. They'll come in time, IF you have the time, lol!

I will have a little free time I'm sure. I'm not working while in school, I have no kids, and I cook and freeze my meals a month in advance. I also read quick and have a good memory. Though I will probably use my free time for football on Sundays and gaming. :D

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Sometimes having friends in class make it harder. For example, if a friend isn't doing well, you feel the need to help them, but sometimes you just don't have the time, then they get mad at you. Or when friends rely on you to help them and they don't pull their weight.

What about when friends are too busy chatting instead of paying attention. You'll kind of look like a jerk telling them to shut it, or even when you walk away from them because you want to learn.

I don't really like study groups,sometimes. Personally, I've had quite a few experiences where there are people in the group who are wrong and then I have to be the bad guy by correcting them. Sorry, but I'd rather tell you that your wrong than allow you to believe wrong information.

You are in school to learn. That's your focus. Friends will come and go. Don't focus on making friends. If you are out looking for friends, you're going to be disappointed and hurt. Been there! People will be drawn to a naturally pleasant personality, which has nothing to do with the activities you enjoy outside of school.

I've made good acquaintances. These are people that I wouldn't necessarily go out with, but I like to catch up with and we do help each other out on schoolwork at times. I don't really have anything in common with these people, but our personalities are similar, so we work well together.

Got to love Xbox Live ;) I'm not really into the world of warcraft, but I do like zombie games, ha ha. Sometimes it's just nice to escape reality.

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You are in school to learn. That's your focus. Friends will come and go. Don't focus on making friends. If you are out looking for friends, you're going to be disappointed and hurt. Been there! People will be drawn to a naturally pleasant personality, which has nothing to do with the activities you enjoy outside of school.

I've made good acquaintances. These are people that I wouldn't necessarily go out with, but I like to catch up with and we do help each other out on schoolwork at times. I don't really have anything in common with these people, but our personalities are similar, so we work well together.

Got to love Xbox Live ;) I'm not really into the world of warcraft, but I do like zombie games, ha ha. Sometimes it's just nice to escape reality.

I understand that I'm not there to make friends. My social anxiety was kicking into overdrive and took over in this post for a bit. :) :redpinkhe

I don't play world of warcraft and haven't for a few years. I just used that as an example of an MMO game because everyone seems to know what that is.

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You'll be fine. You see like a nice person. Just stay away from the meanies and the lazies. lol

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I'm sure that there is more of us geeks out there in NS!

I have a bit of social anxiety I must admit. (Must be why I gravitate towards the activities that I do! :lol2:) But I'm feeling better.

There has to be! You'll be ok I'm sure!

I understand that I'm not there to make friends. My social anxiety was kicking into overdrive and took over in this post for a bit. :) :redpinkhe

I don't play world of warcraft and haven't for a few years. I just used that as an example of an MMO game because everyone seems to know what that is.

What do you play, COH/COV? I've tried them they give me such a headache!

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What do you play, COH/COV? I've tried them they give me such a headache!

I've played quite a few (WoW, COV, Guild Wars, WAR, AoC). My last time waster of choice was Lord of the Rings Online. I canceled my subscription over summer break to play through some console games. I'm eagerly waiting for SWTOR. That will be my next one. Hopefully, one I can stick with. :cool:

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I used to be terrible at making friends as well, until I somehow became mature enough to figure out the right approach to it. Thankfully I had figured it out prior to starting nursing school:

1. Be open and friendly, ALWAYS. Just go up to people and talk to them. "Hi, I´m (your name), what´s your name?" "I´m so excited about nursing, how about you?" "are you from the area here?" "do you have kids?" "is this a first or second career for you, what did you do before nursing?" just general chat, but keep it going, whenever you sit in class or orientation introduce yourself to the person on your left and on your right, etc.

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2. Find common interests with people. You already have a big one - nursing. Start off with that. Then move on to general things you may have in common, ie. family, kids, relationship, where you live, etc. I´d keep quiet on the more out-of-the-ordinary stuff at first (the D&D, zombies, anime) but if you´re chatting with a male student it may be safe to mention that you like video games. Just don´t say anything too weird about yourself so people aren´t turned off. First impressions count for a lot, if someone thinks you are strange that may stick all through the program.

3. Be helpful to other students, if you´re a good person to study with, upbeat and smart then people will want to study with you.

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I felt the same way when I started NS last summer.

I'm quiet and reserved myself. I hadn't made any close relationships while taking my pre-reqs. Most of the people in my program already lived in the city where the school was and could go to all sorts of meet-ups before class started (I lived in a city 2 hrs away). I know that they say that friendships aren't important and you'll be too busy to go out on the weekends anyway, but having a social life and people who know what you're going through to vent to can be refreshing. To be honest, even though I'm in an ABSN program, I still have plenty of time to socialize.

Maybe 4-6 weeks into the semester, I started to really establish friendships and have a large group of people in the program I consider friends. I think just being open to everyone will help out a lot. You could also organize and/or attend class meet-ups and as mentioned by a previous poster, be as helpful as you can to your fellow classmates. You'll be doing practice physical assessments, and procedures on various classmates, and a simple, "hi! do you want to be partners?" is enough to get the ball rolling. Just think of them as your patients. You're going to be making conversation with people you've never met during clinicals, so what better time than to practice on your peers?

I think once you begin, you'll be surprised at how easy it is to make friends in NS, even if it takes a while. :)

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Specializes in Emergency Nursing.

I felt the same way, not knowing anyone when I started. So on the first day I collected everyone's contact information from my clinical group and sent out a mass email. That little act made me look responsible and organized (whether I actually am remains to be seen!) and all of a sudden everyone wanted to get to know me and be my friend. It was that easy!

Hopefully by now you've started school and realized it's not as bad as you imagined it to be, but if not just take away from your post that a majority of your classmates feel the exact same way. :)

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If you do really well in study groups, volunteer to start one up. You will be suprised how many people would like to join you!

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Well, Krazykchan, you sound like a perfect person to build a stable long-term set of relationships in a virtual world such as Second Life, especially if you like WoW.

Three huge advantages of building friends in virtual space: (1) they can stay with you forever, if you want, regardless where you move on the planet. (2) with at least 30 thousand on-line even at 3 AM, you can usually find someone you know regardless of the time of day, and (3) If you prefer, you can remain 100% anonymous but otherwise just let it all show.

If you're not anonymous, at least to your friends after a while, you can build a cadre of support that can you can take with you when you start that first exciting day on the floor, or at least with you after it to console, share, and get advice from.

To really make it powerful, once you become an old hand, take newbies under your wing, both to help bring in new blood, and to gain the human satisfaction that comes from being a mentor -- as well as realizing, gosh, you have come such a long way from when YOU asked that question.

Check it out: Virtual Worlds, Avatars, free 3D chat, online meetings - Second Life Official Site

:)

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