What is the thing that has been the hardest to learn for you as a nurse over your career? Early on, midway, or late.
I've been an RN just over a year now, and for me one of the most difficult things has been learning to be assertive. I still find it difficult as I was very timid growing up. I'm getting better especially when I keep in mind it's for my patients' well being (I.e. ambulating after surgery, sc heparin/injections, q2 turns, etc).
Specializes in Mental health, substance abuse, geriatrics, PCU.
9 hours ago, Davey Do said:
Your statement struck a note with me, NightNerd.
I'm pretty much of an antisocial recluse, but over the years I have made a few lasting relationships stemming from my nursing career, but they are not upfront and personal.
Except my medical nuse wife Belinda.
About 10 to 12 years ago, I became really friendly with a psych tech, Leevil, at Wrongway. Leevil was an artist with a great sense of dark humor and we became good chums, showing off our works, trading ideas, going to shows together, etc.
Leevil was wanting to put on a show over in the Delmar Loop area of St. Louis and make some money to boot. However, he was short on funds, and I freely volunteered to monetarily fund the majority of his show.
Leevil's show was a success, had made a profit, and he was willing to reimburse me. Knowing Leevil had this great talent that was marketable, I suggested that he put the money that I had invested back into his works for another show. I said, "If I ever need any of the money, I'll let you know".
Agreed.
My mistake: Not getting anything in writing.
Much later, Leevil refused to repay the money and was eventually terminated from Wrongway.
The hard thing learned was to keep everything on the up and up. Even if I love and trust someone, if there's any chance of negative repercussions from a deal in a relationship which could occur, I get it in writing.
There is so much truth in this post, Davey. At the very beginning of my career I experienced a betrayal by a co-worker I thought of as a close friend. Since then, I have become incredibly selective with whom I allow a professional relationship also become personal. I have been lucky to have had some very good friendships that stemmed from professional relationships, but I also make sure I won't get stabbed in the back again!
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
11 hours ago, TheMoonisMyLantern said:
At the very beginning of my career I experienced a betrayal by a co-worker I thought of as a close friend. Since then, I have become incredibly selective with whom I allow a professional relationship also become personal. I have been lucky to have had some very good friendships that stemmed from professional relationships, but I also make sure I won't get stabbed in the back again!
A hard lesson to learn is the fact that anybody, at any time, has the potential to betray us.
We are often lured in by he acts and subsequent feelings of closeness. Those types of betrayals, by ones we trusted and felt close to, are the most painful.
It's a scary thing to believe that we could trust another, vulnerate ourselves only to be, as you stated Moon, stabbed in the back.
Leevil's betrayal was quite an emotional blow and I dealt with it in appropriate ways which included, as always, humor.
Abraham Lincoln said something along the lines of, "I destroy my enemies by making them my friends".
I have a cartoon character, Stinkin Linkin, who is the exact opposite of Mr. Lincoln.
Stinkin Linkin said, "I destroy my enemies by making them my friends. Then, when they least expect it, I really give it to them!"
As my signature line reads, "Overcome fear by seeing the funny yet ridiculous side of every situation".
Picking battles. You can't please everybody, nor can you get patients to do everything you need them to do. I remember getting so stressed out about patients wanting to leave the unit to go smoke, or trying to get them to take their meds (especially if they refuse for absurd reasons). Why take on that stress? Educate, and if they still resist, then let them. Just document/ escalate as appropriate/ follow policy. People are entitled to make poor decisions.
The hardest thing to learn is how to admit you maybe wrong, shutter the ego and shelve your pride.
Happiness and contentment lies on the other side once you are in control of these things.
Learning and truly understanding that we are all the same under the skin, with the same insecurities and fears means that you don't have to fear anyone AND you will find that they actually fear you because of your bluntness and ability to know them.
Picking battles. You can't please everybody, nor can you get patients to do everything you need them to do. I remember getting so stressed out about patients wanting to leave the unit to go smoke, or trying to get them to take their meds (especially if they refuse for absurd reasons). Why take on that stress? Educate, and if they still resist, then let them. Just document/ escalate as appropriate/ follow policy. People are entitled to make poor decisions.
Definitely agree with this one. I very much believe in patient autonomy - and this includes them making not so great decisions. I can always educate and suggest things, but ultimately it is their decision.
Along these same lines, I used to want all my charting to be beautiful and perfect. Just not realistic. I absolutely chart, and make pretty good shift notes for each patient especially with any significant events. But there is no reason to go over the top with it -- I'd rather spend the time with my patients, as long as I am charting to cover myself and communicate to the care team.
I would say probably everything about nursing was the "hardest" for me to learn. Except for writing excellent progress notes and completing documentation, there is absolutely nothing about nursing that comes naturally to me, whether it is learning a new hands-on skill to calming down an agitated/angry/anxious patient or family member. Almost anything and everything about work has the potential to cause me stress and usually does. When I have the option to spend all day in bed on Saturdays and Sundays, that is usually my choice of activity as I need time to recover from the distress that being a nurse causes me.
The patients are the best,easiest part. I love them,figure out what they need, get more brains involved if I can't figure them out, and document with excellence. The hardest part has been discovering and accepting that hospital and nursing administration care about one thing and one thing ONLY...making money. They do not care about you or the patients at all. They are not interested in your ideas on improvement, they do not understand what you have to do to keep the patients safe but will totally dictate what you do, how you are staffed, and what equipment you have to work with. They OD on management seminars and pop psychology fads and spout the latest "coolest" phrases like they mean something. They will never ask what you think of one of their new dictates, or even if it's something you can accomplish, because they do not care. There is no team between administration and staff, and hospital situations would be vastly improved if there were.
Specializes in Mental health, substance abuse, geriatrics, PCU.
On 2/21/2021 at 10:17 PM, jmtndl said:
The patients are the best,easiest part. I love them,figure out what they need, get more brains involved if I can't figure them out, and document with excellence. The hardest part has been discovering and accepting that hospital and nursing administration care about one thing and one thing ONLY...making money. They do not care about you or the patients at all. They are not interested in your ideas on improvement, they do not understand what you have to do to keep the patients safe but will totally dictate what you do, how you are staffed, and what equipment you have to work with. They OD on management seminars and pop psychology fads and spout the latest "coolest" phrases like they mean something. They will never ask what you think of one of their new dictates, or even if it's something you can accomplish, because they do not care. There is no team between administration and staff, and hospital situations would be vastly improved if there were.
Your post really hit it on the head for me. Administrators seem to have such an enormous disconnect over what the patients and staff need and what the facility delivers.
Hardest lesson:;For me, it was separating working relationships from my personal. I no longer socialize with coworkers. I'm friendly, but professional, and need that separation to keep myself fresh. I've found that if I hang out with work chums, all we talk about is work, and this just adds to the feelings of 28 years that are not the same as my feelings when I began years ago. I surround myself with people who share my other interests
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
3 hours ago, Hoosier_RN said:
I've found that if I hang out with work chums, all we talk about is work,
And isn't it something how a common ground is like a chain that bind?
I've had some of the best, closest relationships with people I've worked with, only to have them fade away once that chain is broken. Even though one or the other of us tries to keep the friendship momentum going, it never lasts.
I figure one of the reasons is because I'm such a loner, keep to myself, and am attracted to others who choose a similar lifestyle.
It's sort of like, "Introverts! Unite! Separately, in your own homes!"
I've learned to listen to my inner voice and critical thinker "what have I forgotten?", "what have I missed", "go into this room and check on this patient again".
What I haven't learned is to be gentle with myself. Almost 30 years in I still haven't learned to silence my inner critic that is hell bent on calling myself the most incompetent, bumbling dope of a nurse there is.
TheMoonisMyLantern, ADN, LPN, RN
923 Posts
There is so much truth in this post, Davey. At the very beginning of my career I experienced a betrayal by a co-worker I thought of as a close friend. Since then, I have become incredibly selective with whom I allow a professional relationship also become personal. I have been lucky to have had some very good friendships that stemmed from professional relationships, but I also make sure I won't get stabbed in the back again!