Hardest Thing to Learn

[Okey Foley]

What is the thing that has been the hardest to learn for you as a nurse over your career? Early on, midway, or late. 

I've been an RN just over a year now, and for me one of the most difficult things has been learning to be assertive. I still find it difficult as I was very timid growing up. I'm getting better especially when I keep in mind it's for my patients' well being (I.e. ambulating after surgery, sc heparin/injections, q2 turns, etc).

[Davey Do]

1 hour ago, Tweety said:

 Almost 30 years in I still haven't learned to silence my inner critic that is hell bent on calling myself the most incompetent, bumbling dope of a nurse there is.  

It seems that the very best nurses are their own worst enemy, doesn't it, Tweety.

But on the other hand, we can sleep well with ourselves, knowing we did the best we could in any given circumstance.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

4 hours ago, Davey Do said:

It seems that the very best nurses are their own worst enemy, doesn't it, Tweety.

But on the other hand, we can sleep well with ourselves, knowing we did the best we could in any given circumstance.

True enough.  I think I'm so harsh on myself because I care and that and I want to be the best I can be.  Rather than accept that I'm doing my best, my inner critic always thinks my best isn't good enough.  But given the working. conditions of being understaffed and an ever growing sicker patient population along with their entitled demands, I do need to be more gentle with my self talk.  ?

[vintagegal, BSN, DNP, RN, NP]

I found it difficult to learn when to not say something. Then I discovered the benefits of being silent in certain situations. As nurses we tend to want to fix, or blab on about what we know-and-show. But sometimes it is better to be thought the fool then open your mouth and be proven right! 

[2BS Nurse, BSN]

Tolerating annoying co-workers who like to gossip and complain. I just want to focus and do my job. 

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

15 hours ago, vintagegal said:

I found it difficult to learn when to not say something.

I hear that! The number of times I listen to my manager droning on about something totally insignificant and I'm standing there yelling at myself "shut up! shut up!" Then, all of a sudden I hear "Well, wait about...." and I realize it's coming from my mouth. When will I learn?!?! Nothing good comes from pointing out the stupidity of others, especially in management. 

[PsychNurse24, BSN, RN]

Having worked in a county inpatient psych unit for about 10 years total, I am sorry to say that sometimes I become cynical.  We frequently see the same people over and over who are medication noncompliant, who continue to use substances, who don’t make therapist or psychiatrist appointments etc.  Now I know that mental health illnesses are chronic  and recurrent.  So on the fairly in frequent days when I start feeling cynical, I remind myself that these are real people with real problems and real feelings who struggle every hour of the day.  And that as a nurse I am not to think about how I am feeling, but to concentrate on the patient.  

[PsychNurse24, BSN, RN]

On 2/22/2021 at 5:05 AM, Davey Do said:

And isn't it something how a common ground is like a chain that bind?

I've had some of the best, closest relationships with people I've worked with, only to have them fade away once that chain is broken. Even though one or the other of us tries to keep the friendship momentum going, it never lasts.

I figure one of the reasons is because I'm such a loner, keep to myself, and am attracted to others who choose a similar lifestyle.

It's sort of like, "Introverts! Unite! Separately, in your own homes!"

Hello, as a fellow introvert, I understand!  I am one of the few people I know who has enjoyed staying home during this pandemic!  One of the best books I’ve ever read in my life is called “Quiet:  The Power of Introverts in a World That Won’t Stop Talking”  by Susan Cain.  In fact I’m not sure where my copy has gone, so I’m going to order another one.

[Davey Do]

1 minute ago, PsychNurse24 said:

 One of the best books I’ve ever read in my life is called “Quiet:  The Power of Introverts in a World That Won’t Stop Talking”  by Susan Cain.  In fact I’m not sure where my copy has gone, so I’m going to order another one.

Can I barrow that one when you get it?

As a friend once said, "All my best books are on other people's  shelves".

I will check that one out, thank you PsychNurse24!

[JBudd, MSN]

Being a team player, aware of what is going on with my coworkers..... I tend to tunnel vision on getting all of my stuff done promptly and well when others might be drowning; some of my stuff could have waited a bit.

[Kitiger, RN]

On 2/24/2021 at 9:37 PM, vintagegal said:

I found it difficult to learn when to not say something. Then I discovered the benefits of being silent in certain situations. As nurses we tend to want to fix, or blab on about what we know-and-show. But sometimes it is better to be thought the fool then open your mouth and be proven right! 

My Dad always said that if you say one intelligent thing and then keep your mouth shut, people will believe that you're intelligent.

[Okey Foley, BSN, RN]

11 hours ago, Kitiger said:

My Dad always said that if you say one intelligent thing and then keep your mouth shut, people will believe that you're intelligent.

That's so good. Sometimes we say more by saying less.

[Okey Foley, BSN, RN]

15 hours ago, Davey Do said:

Can I barrow that one when you get it?

As a friend once said, "All my best books are on other people's  shelves".

I will check that one out, thank you PsychNurse24!

Seconding that this is an excellent book. When I read it, I felt so understood like all of these things my family and classmates thought were so weird. I learned that these things don't make me less, they make up part of who I am. I've changed over the years and am more outgoing, but I am still introverted for sure and gain my energy by being alone. But reading this book helped me accept very fundamental things about myself.

12 hours ago, JBudd said:

Being a team player, aware of what is going on with my coworkers..... I tend to tunnel vision on getting all of my stuff done promptly and well when others might be drowning; some of my stuff could have waited a bit.

Having a coworker come up to me and say "how can I help?" when I'm drowning is one of the best feelings in the world. Even if it's just giving a synthroid for me at 0600, it can make a world of difference.