I'm in my first semester of an RN program at an older age. I was eagerly looking forward to it until I actually got into it and found that I don't seem to be getting the respect I think I deserve. Let me preface this by saying I'm in no way a prima donna type, but I am extremely accomplished, so would expect a certain amount of normal respect. I don't want to say too much and give away who I am, but I have a couple of undergrad degrees & a master's degree in very difficult subject areas. In addition, I come from a background full of people with doctorate degrees and other types of very decent accomplishments. When I first started the program, I was very quiet about my background although the instructors may have known (at least, about my education assuming they bothered to look). As I said, I'm not the ego-driven, braggart type. However, I'm wondering if I was too quiet since I seem to be getting bypassed for people in my class who have nowhere near on the ball what I have going for me. I'm actually starting to wonder whether maybe it's due to my age (in which case, I'd be pretty annoyed about any kind of age discrimination). Seems like either that or I've been too quiet about who and what I am - especially relative to some of my classmates who, although they have no previous degrees, are quite vocal about calling out answers trying to impress classmates & instructors. Btw, I do have straight A's so far in the program, so even if the other students didn't know that, the instructors do know. Yet, it seems I get no respect from the instructors - one in particular. Can't quite figure whether she's intimidated by me or what (I have more education than she does) - whatever it is, she has been rather rude from almost day 1. The first week or two in her class, I did ask questions and such - but she kept ignoring me and trying to shut me up. So I tried a different approach - just sat quietly asking no questions. Then I started getting annoyed that some of the class loudmouths were encouraged to get even louder by the instructors (especially this one). It's also to the point that she and one of the other instructors are actually flirty in class with one of the younger male students too. The male student seems OK but he's not a particularly good student - so I find myself sitting there thinking why are the intructors paying any attention to him at all. Well, I KNOW why - they're literally flirting with him as I said. Meanwhile, those of us who deserve to be recognized based on accomplishment take a 2nd seat to that. Smacks of not only unprofessionalism but also of gender and age bias. The instructor who flirts the most (gets all giggly and such around the male student, always calling on him, joking with him, and so on) is actually a great instructor (insofar as knowledge and teaching ability) and treats me well too, but I'm still somewhat shocked at her behavior in class. The rude instructor heaps attention on this (20-something) male student too (although she is old enough to be his mother and then some - she's older than me too and I'm 44 - guessing she's about 55 and the other instructor is probably late 30s to early 40s). What's even stranger yet, is, at times, these 2 get annoyed with the male student when he starts getting too rambunctious in class. Well, no kidding, they've been encouraging it, so of course he's going to get rambunctious. Even he seems confused - at times, he's really eating it up and then they pull the rug out from under him at other times, so he gets really quiet then. Adding to all of that, other students are starting to gossip about the male student being too loud in class now. Anyway, you get the idea: weird happenings in class with 2 out of my 3 instructors, classmates starting to flip out, and no respect from the rude instructor. I keep flipping in my mind between thinking they're complete idiots (the rude one especially) and just blowing it off, total shock other times, total irritation at other times (and on the verge of saying something I might regret), and at other times just thinking the whole program is totally unprofessional. The main thing I'm concerned with is that if these are the kind of people with whom I'll eventually be working, I'd better figure out a way to deal with them. I've thought about assertively approaching the rude instructor after class, but I really don't want to totally burn bridges (you never know who she knows - plus that also risks her rattling on to other instructors I may have in the next 3 blocks & I don't want to make my name "mud"). Besides, with such a wacky situation, not sure talking to anyone would accomplish much. On the other hand, I've been so irritated at times that I've muttered a couple of things under my breath that she probably heard. I've been thinking maybe it's better just to confront her assertively and professionally rather than risk my irritation coming out even more - but then I flip back to thinking I need to just keep my mouth shut due to the the burning bridges aspect. Then again, bridges may already be burned if the one heard my mutterings. Adding to all of this, I'm beginning to get very sheepish in class in response to all of this. Thinking this is going to be a long haul in the program if things are shaping up this way so early. As I said, my real bottom line is I don't want to burn bridges and screw up a new career before I even graduate. So, any advice on how to deal with the situation? Also, does anyone else think some of these nursing programs seem totally unprofessional?
Wowza! I'd be pretty surprised to see what is a supposed to a be professional instructor acting like the classroom was the the local pickup joint! That's going too far to be openly flirting (or even covertly flirting with a student). Aren't we taught about boundaries in nursing school too? What happened to THAT?! At minimum, it blows the image of the professional. At maximum, the instructors in question are playing with fire.
Why stop with flirting? I'm sure the young man in question will be most appreciative if they forget their underwear next time! Flash 'em while you teach 'em; afterall, it'll keep 'em riveted, and isn't that what a good instructor does?! Now I know why they have those beds in skills lab too!!!!
Specializes in ICU, PICC Nurse, Nursing Supervisor.
im going to put my input in here and its the best advice you are gonna get...stop the drama ,keep you head down and tend to your own. if you want to be a registered nurse do your work ,clinicals and move on. you dont want to be on a nursing instructors hit list...
If you are getting this upset over not getting the "respect that you deserve" in nursing school, how do think you are going to feel when you are actually working as a nurse? Just because you have a nursing degree it won't garner you respect on the floor. Are you going to get upset when the charge nurses choose someone else to complete a task and you think you should get to do it because of your degrees? Are you going to complain about not getting respect then?
Just from reading your posts on here it sounds like you are full of yourself and that is an attitude that will not work in the nursing world.
Wow.... I'm not even a 1st semester RN student and I can tell that you're headed down a bad path. You feel that your instructors are unprofessional? They seem to be providing you with information. You're getting good grades. Your instructors' flirting with other students? Not paying attention to you? Guess what... it's not hurting your performance. You're getting good grades.
You have multiple advanced degrees. Are they in Nursing? No? Then the only benefit you get from them is that you've been trained to think critically. That's about all that means for Nursing School or any other school/program that is unrelated to any of the degrees you have.
You feel like you're not getting the value you expect for what you've paid for the program? Well, let's look at what you're paying for. You're paying to be presented with information. You're paying to have someone demonstrate skills and teach them to you along with the rationale behind their use. You're getting good grades. You're NOT paying to be paid attention to. You're not paying to get any respect. You're not paying be flirted with. You're not paying to to have someone act in a professional manner. Someone that has an informal style of teaching can be just as effective as someone who has a very formal style.
Honestly, I don't care if the instructor is standing stark naked on a desk in front of the class as long as I'm being presented with the information that I need. The onus is on me to absorb that information.
My advice is simple: lay low, do your own thing and stay out any drama and do not create any. Get through school, get your RN license and get on with life.
Really? come on you are all nursing students what do you expect from these people I wouldn't care if you were the president your still sitting next to me in NS we are all trying to get the same thing
Now I know why they have those beds in skills lab too!!!!
traumaRUs, MSN, APRN
87 Articles; 21,287 Posts
What type of respect do you think you deserve?
Granted on the Internet comments can come across different then you intend. I guess I just don't see what you are expecting.
Threatening legal action is not the way to go.