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got shouted at yesterday night

Posted

Specializes in paediatric and trauma. Has 3 years experience.

yesterday night I was shouted at by a 15 yr old male patient what happend was he pressed his call light and i didnt get to him quick enough and he snapped at me and said move quicker and then he kept giving me the evils all the rest of the night I was a bit upset because I had looked after him and done things for him for the past three nights so I was a bit angry and sad

LilyBlue

Has 10 years experience.

I don't put up with that. No reason for you to, either. You are a human being, a professional even, not someone's verbal punching bag. And I don't buy into that ******** that they are ill and therefore it's fine to scream and curse you. I look patients dead in the eye and say, "I will not tolerate you speaking to me like that. I don't speak to you like that, and you don't speak to me like that". And if it continues, I have security come chat with them.

gonzo1, ASN, RN

Specializes in CEN, ED, ICU, PSYCH, PP. Has 18 years experience.

How sad. Is he simply a brat, or is he compensating and/or acting out due to a serious illness?

chevyv, BSN, RN

Specializes in Gero Psych, Ortho Rebab, LTC, Psych. Has 20 years experience.

I hope you 'schooled' him on the proper way to address those that are caring for his sorry butt! Sorry this 15 yr old felt it was ok to speak to you in the way he did. Hope you didn't take it!

WalkieTalkie, RN

Specializes in CVICU.

I've had many people like this before, and most (and I repeat most) will calm down and shape up a bit if you just sit down, shut the door and have a little chat with them. Explain what you are doing, how many other patients you have, and that you are here to help them but that you can't be in the room 24/7.

ghillbert, MSN, NP

Specializes in CTICU. Has 20 years experience.

I'd say "I'd be happy to come back when you can speak to me respectfully" and leave the room.

JB2007, ASN, RN

Specializes in LTC, Med-SURG,STICU. Has 5 years experience.

That does sound like a teenage boy to me. I have one of those lovely little critters in my house. Of course, he would not talk to someone like that because he knows his mother would make his life pretty miserable for a while if I found out. However, many children are not raised with consequences for their actions, so they think it is ok to act in such a manner.

eriksoln, BSN, RN

Specializes in M/S, Travel Nursing, Pulmonary. Has 15 years experience.

melz, I am willing to bet you are on a M/S floor.

Not saying this doesnt go on anywhere, but in my experience, it happens most often on M/S floors. Not because of the patients who are usually on M/S or because of anything the nurses do differently. Its just the natural flow of the process of sickness.

People come to us, the M/S unit, from other higher acuity floors. Or, if they have been in the hospital a number of times, perhaps they spent some time during another admission on a higher acuity unit. They see the nurse on the other unit more often, because they are in a higher acuity environment and are by default checked on more frequently. When they then go to a lower level of care, they resent not getting the 1:1 they had before. The M/S unit often times is used to assist the person back to independence, back to not relying on others. Sometimes patients resist this and demand the same attention on the M/S unit they were getting at the ICU or Step-down.

I dont recommend "schooling" the patient or even confronting them about their attitude. Instead, point out how well they are doing, how you have great faith in them getting better. That will go much further in preparing the patient for returning home.

With a 15 year-old I'd probably have said something like "If you yell at me, something strange happens. I actually get SLOWER.....it happens with old age.....you'll have to watch out for it as YOU get older." You have to be able to say it with a straight face. He'll think you are WAY crazier than he is, and he'd probably better comply and be nicer as who knows what crazy nurse MIGHT be up to......:) Gotta keep adolescents on their toes, especially when they are PITA to deal with. Of course, I'm assuming he's not deathly ill. Now if he keeps yelling, then we need to have a chat....

Edited by tencat

Jules A, MSN

Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

While I would have had "the chat" with him I'd also keep in mind that he is a 15 year old. Not making excuses and yes he could just be a brat but he also could be terrified, in pain, so used to being neglected that acting out and demanding attention is the only way his needs are met and/or mentally ill. As you work with him more it will get easier to figure out how to be the most therapeutic. Hang in there, they can be rough but are also most wonderful creatures once you have a good rapport with them.

rngolfer53

Has 2 years experience.

While I would have had "the chat" with him I'd also keep in mind that he is a 15 year old. Not making excuses and yes he could just be a brat but he also could be terrified, in pain, so used to being neglected that acting out and demanding attention is the only way his needs are met and/or mentally ill. As you work with him more it will get easier to figure out how to be the most therapeutic. Hang in there, they can be rough but are also most wonderful creatures once you have a good rapport with them.

My cousin who has managed to get 8 teenagers thru to adulthood maintains that kids are brain dead for a few years starting about 15 or so.

I would tend to cut the kid some slack, because kids aren't adults. This could be a time to set an example of how to react in an adult manner. Address the problem--his yelling at the nurse--while not making it personal in any way.

We have all too many putative adults who are behaving like children, and we continue to make excuses for them. Being sick or stressed does not relieve an adult of the duty to act like one.

RIGHT ON...unfortunately these type of adults will just call the NM or house supervisor if you answer them like you do so and you will get a good talking to or write up at my hospital, unfortunatly security is way too busy to handle calls re: verbal abuse by a pt, we are to just smile, apoligize, suck it up and move on. It's all about having good pt scores so our managers and muckity mucks can get raises.

truern

Specializes in Telemetry & Obs.

Anybody remember Erikson?!?

"Adolescence: 12 to 18 Years

Ego Development Outcome: Identity vs. Role Confusion

Basic Strengths: Devotion and Fidelity

Up to this stage, according to Erikson, development mostly depends upon what is done to us. From here on out, development depends primarily upon what we do. And while adolescence is a stage at which we are neither a child nor an adult, life is definitely getting more complex as we attempt to find our own identity, struggle with social interactions, and grapple with moral issues.

Our task is to discover who we are as individuals separate from our family of origin and as members of a wider society. Unfortunately for those around us, in this process many of us go into a period of withdrawing from responsibilities, which Erikson called a "moratorium." And if we are unsuccessful in navigating this stage, we will experience role confusion and upheaval.

A significant task for us is to establish a philosophy of life and in this process we tend to think in terms of ideals, which are conflict free, rather than reality, which is not. The problem is that we don't have much experience and find it easy to substitute ideals for experience. However, we can also develop strong devotion to friends and causes."

A 15 yo male has just begun being an independent person and suddenly finds himself threatened with the loss of that independence and further a loss of his privacy and dignity by virtue of being hospitalized. He may have even reverted back to the previous stage of development.

While I certainly would not allow him to continue to yell at me or others, I'd try to understand where he's at developmentally and approach him from that understanding.

We have all too many putative adults who are behaving like children, and we continue to make excuses for them. Being sick or stressed does not relieve an adult of the duty to act like one.

Right on! I had a nurse who got ripped apart by a family the other night, and she was so shaken and upset that she had to leave the floor for awhile and I had to change the assignment midshift so that someone else could take over the care - she was afraid to go back into the room. The family member claims to be a nurse (we think she's really a CNA - she doesn't know basic things like how to check NG placement - she yelled at that nurse for "putting all that air in her (pt's) stomach!" and several other things). If she really is in the biz, she should know how things go and that she can't have someone instantly when she wants them - we are not ICU. That's what happened when she snapped - she said she needed to speak to the pt's nurse, and that another nurse couldn't help her. So we told the nurse, who was in with another patient doing a task that takes some time, then told the family she would be in as soon as she could but she was with another pt just then. As soon as she was done, less than 10 minutes later, she came out of that room and headed for the room that had asked for her. She stopped on the way to plug in her computer cart (the battery was dying), and the family saw her in the hall. This one particular one who is the "nurse" and who is causing 95% of the problems and seriously interfering with the care the patient recieves, came out into the hallway and chewed her head off in the station. She threatened to sue, told this nurse that she was sick of her ********, she was going to call everyone under the sun and report her behavior, etc. I wasn't there at the time, I was on one of the other pods on our unit and had no idea any of this had happened until a few minutes later. The nurse came to me in tears, completely shocked. She didn't do a thing wrong - the family is unreasonable. I paged the house sup and stayed with her till she was calmer. Then I changed the assignment and went to talk to the family - the house sup was behind the station reading the patient's chart. The family came out of the room while I was headed that way and demanded that I send the nurse that she had just spit out into the room. I told her that that Nurse A wasn't going to be with them anymore and that Nurse B would be taking over but she was still getting report and would be available shortly. Before I could even offer to do anything, introduce myself, or get any other word out of my mouth, she started screaming at me too. Luckily the sup came around the corner and took over just then so I didn't have to deal with them that time. They behaved for the rest of the night, but I told the sup that if she did that again, I wasn't going to mess around - I would just call security and let them lay down the law. She was being disruptive to all the nurses and the other pts by screaming in the hallway every time she didn't get what she wanted immediately!

Sorry for the long tale - the moral of the story is: I won't tolerate that kind of behavior. Sometimes it just takes a gentle reminder that we are very busy and taking care of many people and we really are doing the best we can. Other times, it takes more than that. Either way, it's not going to happen twice on my unit (at least, not while I am there). Our jobs are hard enough, we should not have to deal with that kind of abuse. Plus, if I screamed at the kid at McDonald's the way that person was screaming at the nurse, they would have called the cops on me so fast I wouldn't know what hit me. Yes, the hospital is a high stress environment for them, but it is for us too, and I'm tired of everyone making excuses for irrational people. If they have a true problem, they should address is correctly and like adults, not by throwing a tantrum and making threats.

Sounds like he needs some more home training!!

ChristineN, BSN, RN

Specializes in Pediatric/Adolescent, Med-Surg.

yesterday night I was shouted at by a 15 yr old male patient what happend was he pressed his call light and i didnt get to him quick enough and he snapped at me and said move quicker and then he kept giving me the evils all the rest of the night I was a bit upset because I had looked after him and done things for him for the past three nights so I was a bit angry and sad

I work with teenagers and it is not uncommon to have issues lkike that. The nurses that I work with are not opposed to putting these kids in their place and reminding them, that they can go home, or they can behave. Normally Mom and Dad aren't going to take these kids home, so they'll straighten up. I've found too, that if you have to, tell the kids parents what happened, and then, magically they'll start behaving once the parents have a talk with them (if the parents have any sense).

You should stand up for yourself. Regardless of the age of the patient, nurses deserve to be respected.

You are an excellent charge, standing behind the nurse and up to the patient's family like that. Too bad there aren't more like you out there, at least not where I work. You nailed it!

Jules A, MSN

Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

Yes, the hospital is a high stress environment for them, but it is for us too, and I'm tired of everyone making excuses for irrational people. If they have a true problem, they should address is correctly and like adults, not by throwing a tantrum and making threats.

Yes but this is a 15yo not an adult! I'm all for nurses being treated with respect but frankly a child this age yelling at me isn't going to send me away in tears. He absolutely should be more polite but there is so much going on that we don't know about him, his background or present illness. I would address his concerns in a professional empathetic manner. Isn't that what we do?

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