Published
yesterday night I was shouted at by a 15 yr old male patient what happend was he pressed his call light and i didnt get to him quick enough and he snapped at me and said move quicker and then he kept giving me the evils all the rest of the night I was a bit upset because I had looked after him and done things for him for the past three nights so I was a bit angry and sad
I would tell on him. He not the boss.
Seriously though, it's a mind game- he thinks he is in control- forgetting that his needs are now being met by the nursing staff.
Once he is subtlety reminded that you are his link to food and medication- it will bottom out that ego surge (for a little while).
thanks for all the replys and I know I shouldn't take it to heart but at first I felt a little bit sad but i feel alot better now its just because I don't expect to be spoken to like that when I am taking care of them I expect to be respected by all my patients. It's not the end of the world I was 5 seconds slow and he gobbed of at me just because of that i'm just going to talk to his parents about him he is expected to be with us for another week.
I was referring to the situation I described - you took the part of my post about the adult I was talking about and made it about the kid. I said that a gentle reminder is often all that is necessary.
No worries, I got that but in staying on topic I felt it was apples/oranges and others were veering off in the adult direction also. As I said we do deserve respect but much of our patient's behavior, adult and child, can be related to their state of health so I think we need to keep that in mind. :)
i've had many people like this before, and most (and i repeat most) will calm down and shape up a bit if you just sit down, shut the door and have a little chat with them. explain what you are doing, how many other patients you have, and that you are here to help them but that you can't be in the room 24/7.
oh i would have had "a little chat with him," it would have had nothing whatsoever to do with a breakdown of my patient load. i would have informed hime that i understand that you are unwell but at no time is it appropriate to speak to me in such a fashion. i will take very good care of you, you will recieve very good medical care. your part of this relationship is to be respectful no if's and's or but's. i have had this conversation with many patients, i do not care how old they are.
The fact that he has been there fir a few nights must mean that he is pretty sick. You know that you are tired, and doing all that you possibly can for all of the patients that you are for during a shift...but you do not know what he is truly going through. He is human, and humans get tired, emotional, and impatient (no matter the age). You had to know that you would experience things like this (and sometimes even worse) when you decided to work with ill people. So just try to put yourself in his shoes...keep being nice, and he will feel sorry for how he spoke to you.
I dont recommend "schooling" the patient or even confronting them about their attitude. Instead, point out how well they are doing, how you have great faith in them getting better. That will go much further in preparing the patient for returning home.
I have a problem with allowing pt's to act like this without saying anything. It is not acceptable to be rude just because you don't feel well--and I have taught my children that too. Yes, this child could be very sick and scared and the talk should not be confrontational but firm and loving. But...you can't just tolerate it and ignore it--that leads to more of the same and him/her thinking that that is the only way to get attention.
When I have confrontational pt's like that I very calmly explain to them that it is hard for me to give them the best care if they are shouting and rude to me and that I would appreciate it if they would remember that I am a person too. Then I ask them what is wrong and why they feel so angry, upset, sad etc. that they have to yell and be rude. Many times it has calmed down a pt who felt they were being ignored or treated badly themselves.
Then there are the times where it doesn't help at all and nothing anyone can do about it. There are just rude, mean people out there who are very selfish/self-centered and will never be kind to "just a nurse". Those are the ones you just have to set firm boundaries with and grin and bear it. Our security helps too if they get too badly behaved!!
Regardless, you can't just ignore the behavior! It doesn't do the child any good because the next person they try that with may not be as understanding or professional!
The fact that he has been there fir a few nights must mean that he is pretty sick. You know that you are tired, and doing all that you possibly can for all of the patients that you are for during a shift...but you do not know what he is truly going through. He is human, and humans get tired, emotional, and impatient (no matter the age). You had to know that you would experience things like this (and sometimes even worse) when you decided to work with ill people. So just try to put yourself in his shoes...keep being nice, and he will feel sorry for how he spoke to you.
thanks for this advice ill try it he is still with us now
We often have the "problem teens" on my floor, you know, the ones peds refuse because they are such trouble makers. While it is true they are most often the products of poor parenting, that is still no excuse to put up with bad behavior. I apologize for making them wait, tell them that I will give them the best care possible, but I WILL NOT put up with any disrespect. I tell them that we can have a really good 12 hours or a really rotten 12 hours, the choice is theirs. I let them know respect is a 2 way street, they give it to me, I will return it. If they are jerks, I will still take care of them, they just won't get anything extra. Usually works. Often times they apologize to me and we get along fine the rest of their stay. By the way, I am the mother of 3 and none of mine (one who was chronically ill and hospitalized often as a child) would have dreamed to speak to a nurse or any other adult in such a manner. Of course, when you usually meet the parents you see that the apple didn't fall far from the tree.
Um, I don't think so. Being unceasingly nice when someone is being abusive means that you are giving the person a license to become even more abusive of your person. Trust me these types rarely feel sorry about their behavior if it's getting them what they want. There is a reason why nurses are required to take a certain amount of psychology and psych. It's to help us develop an understanding of human emotions and behaviors. So use it...there is NOTHING wrong with establishing boundaries and setting limits for acceptable behavior. Nurses should always maintain their professionalism and should never allow patients to see them become angry or aggressive but that doesn't mean that they should allow themselves to be screamed at and called names.
The fact that he has been there fir a few nights must mean that he is pretty sick. You know that you are tired, and doing all that you possibly can for all of the patients that you are for during a shift...but you do not know what he is truly going through. He is human, and humans get tired, emotional, and impatient (no matter the age). You had to know that you would experience things like this (and sometimes even worse) when you decided to work with ill people. So just try to put yourself in his shoes...keep being nice, and he will feel sorry for how he spoke to you.
kellykelly
76 Posts
melz don't take it to heart, it happens sometimes. I like the suggestion of shutting the door, sitting down and having a chat with him. I don't know if he has other issues going on that make it not quite that simple but it often works wonders.