Getting involved with a co-worker

sissiesmama, ASN, RN · Mar 8, 2008

Hello - I have seen quite a few of the experiences you posted, and for the most part, they ended quite badly and gave the unit a ''weird'' feel when it broke.

On a personal note, I met my hubbie that way and we have been married almost 4 years. We worked before for over 10 years as co workers, then he left flloor nursing to be a NM on an LTAC unit. He was married and I got engaged just before he left the unit. Till I got divorced from that person, we had NEVER been anything but work related friends. I didn't know at the time of my divorce, he had also separated from his wife. When I left my ex hubbie, I called and he gave me a FT job.

We worked together on that unit for 1 year and I got an offer in the ER of the same facility. When I put in my notice, he told me that he was divorced and asked me out. I took both offers.

August will be our wedding anniversary. He was a godsend to me, because after a few years in the ER, I had to quit nursing due to cardiac problems, bigeminy, labile hypertension to name a few. So now I am a stay at home mom to his 10 year old and 16 year old sons. And we keep each other from going nuts. And the funny thing is, after working over 16 years as a nurse, I don't miss it at all, except for when I see an MVC being an old ER RN and adrenaline junkie as most ER nurses are.

Just my .02. Good luck and try to make a good decision.

Anne, RNC:redbeathe

Anyone have any experiences or advise you can offer me? I have been a nurse for almost 10 years now and i have managed to keep it business only until now. A month ago my unit hired a new beautiful, funny, smart nurse that comes on to me daily. She always ask me to hook up with her off duty.

She has even tried to kiss me in empty rooms. Something that would get me as a man fired but thats another story. The temptation to get involve with her is overwhelming. I have seen too many of these go very bad to say the list. I want to avoid this at all cost!!

Xbox Live Addict · Mar 8, 2008

You have to do what is comfortable for you, although you must maintain your professionalism. Excessive sexual play at work will lead, at the very least, to a number of very uncomfortable conferences in your manager's office, and can lead to termination. And it sounds like you are uncomfortable with this situation.

However, I do have some input into getting involved w/co-workers. When you work as much as we do, sometimes co-workers are all there are. You don't have time for any outside interests. I will also say that "office romances", if handled right, need not end in disaster. My romances with co-workers have generally been quite amicable, while romances outside of work have been generally bad for me. In fact, my current office romance has been quite successful. We will have been together for 3 years, married for 2, in August. Quite successful, but we are quite compatible and also don't bring home conflict to work either.

OC_An Khe · Mar 8, 2008

Simple when two people fool around at work at least one of the becomes a fool.

leslie :-D · Mar 8, 2008

i think 2 mature adults are capable of a romantic relationship outside of work.

in this case, hmmmm...

not too comfortable w/a new employee trying to corner you in an empty room.

she doesn't seem to be exercising much judgment or discretion.

and i'm not thoroughly convinced you're letting your head (the one on your shoulders) rule your heart.

just proceed cautiously, ok?

try to slow it down a bit.

if she's really interested in you, she'll respect your concerns and act accordingly.

leslie

Runman1914, MSN, RN · Mar 8, 2008

Is your hospital a member of a system with other local hospitals? At the very least could you transfer to another unit within your current hospital?
Trust me on this one: Do NOT attempt to date this woman and to remain working together. Some folks are quite capable of doing so, but I don't see that as happening with you two. Please don't regard that as a criticism, a judgement upon your maturity etc......but I'm speaking from experience here.
You know darn well you are going to give in to this woman. And since you are AND you said you want to avoid a bad situation "at all costs"-----get out now!!!!
Sad to say, don't be too shocked if she backs off once you are no longer forbidden fruit; but at least you'll still have your job and professional reputation. lolol And probably a little fun in the meantime.

Yea i think your right. Its just the forbidden fruit interest with her. I have been rejecting her advances . I was thinking tonight that she has done this at other jobs. I would love to believe im some superman lol . Im old enough now to know better than that. :wink2:

allnurses Guide · Mar 8, 2008

i think 2 mature adults are capable of a romantic relationship outside of work.
in this case, hmmmm...
not too comfortable w/a new employee trying to corner you in an empty room.
she doesn't seem to be exercising much judgment or discretion.
and i'm not thoroughly convinced you're letting your head (the one on your shoulders) rule your heart.
just proceed cautiously, ok?
try to slow it down a bit.
if she's really interested in you, she'll respect your concerns and act accordingly.
leslie

I agree - in this case there is something off putting about her behavior. Only there a month and comes on to you daily, tries to kiss you in empty rooms at work, wants to hook up with you . . she doesn't even know you.

Are you sure this isn't a script from "Grey's Anatomy"?

I'd be careful . .. .

steph

ERNurse752, RN · Mar 8, 2008

She sounds screwy. I'd be afraid of something green that drips and burns.

locolorenzo22, BSN, RN · Mar 8, 2008

Yeah, too many people can't "keep it seperated." At work, if you're together, no kissing, lovey-dovey stuff...I'm there to do my job.....that's it.

Yeah, and getting jumped in empty rooms...that's a story you don't want to be a part of....all you need to do is have someone walk in on y'all....and there you go.

Runman1914, MSN, RN · Mar 8, 2008

Yeah, too many people can't "keep it seperated." At work, if you're together, no kissing, lovey-dovey stuff...I'm there to do my job.....that's it.
Yeah, and getting jumped in empty rooms...that's a story you don't want to be a part of....all you need to do is have someone walk in on y'all....and there you go.

Im glad this didnt happen in my 20s when i was super gullible. I work day shift and she works nights. I only see her at shift change . Im afraid of getting caught . I know how women can become victims when their caught doing wrong. Thanks for the advice!! I will try to stay clear of her as much as possible.

santhony44, MSN, RN, NP · Mar 8, 2008

I know how women can become victims when their caught doing wrong.

As much as it pains me to say it, you are right. Some women will play the victim card in a heartbeat.

A woman of integrity, won't. However, I have to question the integrity, not to mention judgment, of someone who tries to kiss you in empty rooms. Particularly when, as others have pointed out, she doesn't really know you.

It is possible for workplace romances to be successful, but that requires two mature adults able to put the personal aside at work and be professional.

DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN · Mar 8, 2008

is your hospital a member of a system with other local hospitals? at the very least could you transfer to another unit within your current hospital?

why would he transfer?

tell her to keep her hands and lips to herself. my mother always told me never get your money and meat in the same place. my mother is always right

CRNA2007 · Mar 8, 2008

Never fool around with someone you work with or someone who lives real close to you. When things go south then you have to quit your job or move.