lost panties - page 4

I am almost at the end of the rope. I have a family member that is very upset and acting a fool because her resident's panties and skirts are missing. She pays $8 - $12 a pair for the panties that... Read More

  1. by   flashpoint
    I would bet that indigo girl is right...they were probably thrown away. A lot of residents are embarassed when they are incontinent and try to hide it.

    BTW...$12 doesn't seem like a lot of money to me...I love my Victoria's Secret thongs!
  2. by   txspadequeenRN
    this is a subject that makes me want to spit nails.. what is it with missing clothes and crazy families....i kid you not... one time i had a man drop dead in the living area and we were doing cpr ambulance on the way ,the whole 9 yards... when a crazy wife came up asking about her husbands pants demanding to know why the laundry has not delivered them or have they already lost them.. i said "uhhhh i cant talk to you about this now".. she says " did you hear me john lost his pants." mind you this woman got on her knees right beside me.. crazy!!! i told her " did you hear me i will be with you later."...uuuuuuuugggggggggggggggg
  3. by   ktwlpn
    allright allright-I CONFESS.....I couldn't resist.They reminded me of my momma.I had to have them.I'm not wearing them,mind you...Just taking them out from time to time just to look at them so I can remember her....And the skirt-identical to one my momma loved and wore often......
  4. by   adrienurse
    They must be in the same black hole that the glasses and dentures and hearing aids that go missing ends up in.

    My guess? They were put in either the wrong laundry bin or the garbage probably by the resident herself. Or else they're balled up somewhere being hidden or kept from being "stolen" by someone confused. Our personal laundry is ALL marked whether it's washed by the facility or the family and it is always getting sent to the wrong place or being put in the wrong closet.
  5. by   prmenrs
    Anyone else see this kind of thing as a cover issue? Families have no control over Mom or Pop being in the facility, and certainly no control over eventually losing their loved one, so they get angry w/staff for stuff like lost clothing or other nit-picky stuff. "I can't get mad @ you because I'm losing her, so I'll get mad about losing her clothes."

    I'd suggest drawing up a "contract" w/the family: clothing must be labeled, checked in w/staff, like on an inventory sheet, new stuff locked up; what facility is able to do, and NOT DO, re: searching for lost items, replacing, whatever.

    And, most imp't, reassure the family that caring for the patient is #1 priority, keeping track of personal items is not. Any time spent searching for stuff is time away from patient care.
  6. by   ktwlpn
    .................................................. ........ Of course it is NOT about the panties...But knowing that does not always help us deal with the issue at that time.These things will take over your routine and cause you to neglect the other residents while you search for the missing "whatever" I made the daughter of a 98 yr old resident cry last week and I felt terrible.She came in and voiced several minor concerns similar to the mystery of the missing undies.I acknowledged her concerns and pointed out that focusing on things like underwear,fingernails and dentures enables her to focus her attention away from the reality that her mother is 98 and declining and we don't know what tomorrow will bring....Now the daughter won't talk to me at all-oh well---not exactly a bad thing IMHO. I can deal with the DPOA as needed and let him deal with his sister (lots of family dysfunction in this bunch) As for the panties-the family member may have displaced them at home.In my facility our policy states that if we are not doing the residents laundry in house then we are NOT responsible if anything goes missing...Too many chances for things to get put in the regular laundry by staff unfamiliar with the residents routine and lost.
  7. by   ayla2004
    its all been said
    residents will hide soiled clothing, they will move stuff around even other residents we has one once who would take all the pictures frames of the wall(used to be a carpenter ) or residents whom we had to remove all the cllthing from there wardrobe(closet) as they though it was a toliet.
    we ended up (once residents were up)locking residetn rooms during the day to try to prevent things going missing and being very careful to make sure the right laundry went . or that everyone knew whose laundry wnet home and not to put it in our wash. but the guilt factor from some famillies meant you were waiting foor the next complaint of what you weren't doing.
    all clothing had to to marked by the familly and we logged everything brought in and gave them a recipt.
    even sadder are the elderly who have no one who visits or cares what they have, espically if they ahve living familly in the area.
    the NH i worked in was all demetia
  8. by   prmenrs
    I sorry if I was out of line in "stating the obvious".
  9. by   CRNI-ICU20
    Ya caught me!!
    It was me.....I have been doin' a side business on eBAY...
    It wouldn't surprise me if there isn't a little night owl, alzheimer's ridden patient who is going around re-arranging the knickers at night when no one is looking.
    We used to have patients who changed around peoples teeth in their teeth cups at night...(I guess they were thinking that everyday, people would have a different smile on their face that way at breakfast!)
    Sometimes that LUNESTA can do funny things to little old folks who are on about a gajillion other medications....
    The family members aren't really steamed about the clothes....the clothes are just a symptom of a bigger issue....many of them are guilt ridden for having to put their loved one in a home....they have unrealisitc expectations, they don't understand that you cannot lock doors for safety reasons and that some people wander around at night....that's why they are in a HOME!! DUH!
    I would explain that we don't have an underwear police, and that clothing does come up missing sometimes. That it is best to just buy the cheap ones, since grandma won't know the diff. anyway.Tell them that they are welcome to bring in a small suitcase that has a lock, which can be labeled with the patient's name, room number, etc. and that it could be stocked with plenty of panties for grandma when she needs them. The nurses can store it in a designated place where family or nurses may have access....
    It's worth a try....
    good luck
  10. by   SuesquatchRN
    Quote from CRNI-ICU20
    I would explain that we don't have an underwear police
    Okay, I just snorted coffee out my nose.
  11. by   BabyRN2Be
    Quote from prmenrs
    Anyone else see this kind of thing as a cover issue? Families have no control over Mom or Pop being in the facility, and certainly no control over eventually losing their loved one, so they get angry w/staff for stuff like lost clothing or other nit-picky stuff. "I can't get mad @ you because I'm losing her, so I'll get mad about losing her clothes."
    Wow, this describes my MIL to a tee. Her mother has Alzheimer's, and she's always faulting every nursing home with something. She has been in and out of several nursing homes for minor complaints. The food isn't good (or not enough), she can't buy her anything nice because "the laundry person always steals it", among other complaints. Until recently, she was placed in rock bottom nursing homes. Now she's in a much better NH and her latest complaint? "Mother is kept up too late at night." I'm here, "Lady, if that's your worst complaint, she's doing pretty well."

    There's just no pleasing some people.

    She actually tried to get a private room for her mother by complaining that since her clothes were "missing", they owed her private room rates for her stay! Not!
    Last edit by BabyRN2Be on Apr 3, '07