I hate being a nurse and i'm about to graduate

  1. I'm about to graduate nursing school in just a few weeks. I'm in my senior practicum and i honestly hate it. Like despise it. I've done pretty decent in school, i'm a low A student, i've basically made it through. But i've been dealing with these thoughts for a while, and i really don't like nursing. Before this quarter i had a revelation that i REALLY didn't want to be a nurse.
    I've spent 3 years trying to get into nursing school and here i am literally almost finished and i'm crying because i have a shift tomorrow at my capstone placement and i am trying so hard to force myself to even go. It's not like it's even terrible, my preceptor seems like she's nice, other nurses have been friendly enough.

    But I feel like an idiot, i'm barely able to draw up meds, my hands shake, i'm super awkward i can't really talk to patients, i don't know anything. And i'm freaking out cuz i've just put myself in massive debt to get a degree that i will hate. I have 12 more 12hr shifts/days i need to complete and i'm scared i'm going to end up quitting. my preceptor was talking about a previous student she had that was so lazy and couldn't do anything, and i'm terrified that i'll be the most recent version of that.

    I've never felt this way during my other clinicals, sure there were times i didn't want to go, but it was never because i hated nursing. I don't know why i hate this capstone clinical so much. I'm thinking it may be because i'm alone here, there's no other students and friends with me. I don't know what to do with myself, i'm a really awkward and introverted person, and i hate talking on the phone which you do a lot as a nurse. Everyone else is so confident and knows what to do, and i'm that idiot nursing student who can't draw up meds correctly.

    So what do i do?

    i'm so sorry for my rambling, but i need some sort of advice from anyone. I definitely will finish nursing school, but how can i make my capstone more enjoyable? How do i make myself more comfortable in the role of a nurse? What type of job should i apply for after school is over?
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    About Newtons

    Joined: Aug '18; Posts: 2; Likes: 1
    from WA , US

    30 Comments

  3. by   martymoose
    Can you ask to practice drawing up stuff from sterile water vials and needles just so you can improve your fine motor skills.take it from a fellow nervous nellie-you will HAVE to learn -note the word is "learn", to not be nervous. You cannot think when you are nervous. Try to see if you can practice some things so you can make that nervous feeling go away.Almost all jobs involve speaking to people/strangers.You just have to make yourself do it. Pretend to be an actor.rehearse your lines.do it enough and you will get better at it.
    Don't give up yet,you haven't even started.Be Strong.

    Addendum:also,1) you clearly are smart enough to have gotten this far and 2)I abhorred calling docs on the phone. But you have to do what you have to do. You do what you need to do for your patient. Make that pt as if they were (like)your family member.yes docs may yell at you, hang up, etc. But stick to your guns. And rehearse. Write notes/cheat sheets
    Last edit by martymoose on Aug 3
  4. by   Wuzzie
    You hang in there and realize that every. single. one. of. us had these moments when we were students or new graduates. Yes, you feel awkward and slow and stupid. Yes, you don't know what to say. How could you? These are the things that come with time and experience. They aren't learned in school. You will find your niche. It may not be your first job or your second or even your third but eventually you will be in a place where things just click. It doesn't sound like you hate nursing. It sounds like you're just scared and that's okay.
  5. by   Purple1234
    First...take a deep breath-you arent alone! I was very unsure of myself when I graduated and questioned why I even went to nursing school. I wish I could say I immediately found my niche in nursing after graduating but I didnt. I was so stressed/burnt out the last several months of nursing school that once I graduated and passed boards I didnt even look for a nursing job for awhile. Once I did, it took me several jobs to find my field of nursing I love! Sorry, not much advice except you aren't alone and there are MANY different things to do with nursing
  6. by   Luckyyou
    You hate being a nurse, but - you haven't actually been a nurse yet. Look, nursing school is 85% BS. I didn't enjoy it either. But you don't even know if you're going to like being a nurse yet. You will make friends on the unit you start on. You will get comfortable on the phone. If you hate the hospital, you can work a ton of other places. You've done all this work for your degree: don't throw it away yet.
  7. by   LibraNurse27
    I totally remember feeling super nervous, slow and stupid during clinicals and especially during capstone when I was the only student on my floor. Just know that if you stick with it it will get better, and if you do find that hospital nursing is not for you there are lots of other options: long term care, outpatient surgery, public health, clinics, etc. As you learn more and feel more confident you will feel more comfortable talking to patients, families, MDs, etc. Until then providing compassion and empathy to patients is really meaningful no matter how much clinical knowledge you have... sometimes listening is better than talking, and much easier in my opinion! If you show an interest in people and show them you genuinely care, even if you are a little awkward patients often open up to you and sometimes just need to vent as being in the hospital is stressful. Introverts can be great nurses! Best of luck to you =)
  8. by   BlinkyPinky
    I'm going to buck the trend and say: finish the program and get out now. Of nursing. If indeed your gut / mind tells you already that you hate it. I wish I had done so , years ago.
    The student loans are real, though , I know.
    Maybe work at the least - objectionable nursing job ( which is NOT the hospital!), until you pay off? Meanwhile planning for something else. Pharmacy Tech ? ( quick program while you pay off the SL)?
  9. by   ICUman
    I kind of felt like this during my capstone a few years ago as well.
    With time, comes experience, and you master all the issues you stumble with. It gets better.
  10. by   Miss.Jersey
    I'm a newer nurse, And I also get anxious at times. With time comes experience, which helps.

    Have you considered different settings for nursing? There are so many options as a nurse. For example: there's a big need for Pediatric home care, and with the right company you can make pretty good money. One-on-one patient care, 8 to 12 hour shifts, some patients just have feeding tubes.

    There's a lot of patients who need a nurse to accompany them to school each day. Just think outside the box a little before you call it quits okay? And remember, in any new job there's going to be a learning curve and anxiety for you until you get comfortable. Don't let your anxiety win.

    On my way to work this evening I was feeling a little anxious. And I'll share with you what I told myself.

    Fear (anxiety) is like a strong wind. If you don't lean into it it'll overcome you and knock you off your feet. So next time you're afraid just say 'blow me'!
    Last edit by Miss.Jersey on Aug 4 : Reason: Because: paragraphs
  11. by   Davey Do
    Hi Newtons! Welcome to AN.com!

    Maybe you could consider going into administration. You'd have a leg up on the majority, since your grades show that you have quite a bit of intelligence.

    I'm as serious as a myocardial infarction! I can give you examples of others who got their RN, went almost directly into supervisory positions, and virtually lived happily ever after without a clue as to what it is to be a nurse!

    Good luck to you, Newtons!
  12. by   AutumnApple
    Often on this site I see people giving the advice to "Be a nurse's aid while you're in school." I've always considered this flawed advice.

    While, at first glance, it seems to make perfect sense, I don't think the average person can/should do it. You get adapted to the medical culture, learn a few basic skills and get exposure to patients. All good things, sure.

    What these advice givers are neglecting to take into account is: THIS PERSON IS ALREADY IN NURSING SCHOOL. That takes up a large portion of your life already. And your advice is to fill up what time they have away from school (and homework, and clinicals) with working a medical job right in the mix of things?

    You see, I think it's a bad idea because: You'll get burned out on nursing.......before you are even a nurse.

    School tends to burn us out every bit as much as though we were working the floor (or whatever). From what I understand, most schools have become more competitive and are quick to dismiss you if you don't come off as someone who will pass boards first time. Stressful, stressful, stressful. So how does adding more nursing "stressors" to the recipe help?

    I understand you're not working as a CNA per se, but there is something worth hearing in all this OP. Nursing school burns us out. So many of my classmates were "sick of nursing" before they even took boards and were actually nurses. It's how things are right now. You didn't do anything wrong to get to this place, but you *could* react to it in such a way that makes things worse.

    Take it for what it is. Burn out, caused by the stress of school. Just because you're not technically a nurse yet doesn't mean you don't suffer the same burn out that nurses go through. The educational process these days, from what I understand, us very mechanical, impersonal and tedious. (Hmph, sounds a bit like the profession, coincidence?).

    So, research how to deal with nurse burn out and approach things that way. Perhaps take a week or two off once school is over. You just sound like someone who needs to recharge their batteries to me.
  13. by   caliotter3
    Finish school and get the license. That will put you in a better position to deal with your future, in or out of nursing. Should you decide to pursue other career goals, place the nursing license in an inactive status.
  14. by   infinityRN_BSN
    hey I might be saying what others have already said- but, you are still in nursing school, that is a burnout in itself. The nervousness could just be from your preceptor or clinical professor just watching you, I get like that when like the joint commission or DOH is watching me- it happens. You will be nervous on your first job, because school doesn't compare to real life experience. You are going to learn on the job. But if after all that your guts tell you to leave before you even start, then do it. Just my opinion. hope you make whatever decision makes you happy!

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