I hate being a nurse and i'm about to graduate

[Newtons]

I'm about to graduate nursing school in just a few weeks. I'm in my senior practicum and i honestly hate it. Like despise it. I've done pretty decent in school, i'm a low A student, i've basically made it through. But i've been dealing with these thoughts for a while, and i really don't like nursing. Before this quarter i had a revelation that i REALLY didn't want to be a nurse.

I've spent 3 years trying to get into nursing school and here i am literally almost finished and i'm crying because i have a shift tomorrow at my capstone placement and i am trying so hard to force myself to even go. It's not like it's even terrible, my preceptor seems like she's nice, other nurses have been friendly enough.

But I feel like an idiot, i'm barely able to draw up meds, my hands shake, i'm super awkward i can't really talk to patients, i don't know anything. And i'm freaking out cuz i've just put myself in massive debt to get a degree that i will hate. I have 12 more 12hr shifts/days i need to complete and i'm scared i'm going to end up quitting. my preceptor was talking about a previous student she had that was so lazy and couldn't do anything, and i'm terrified that i'll be the most recent version of that.

I've never felt this way during my other clinicals, sure there were times i didn't want to go, but it was never because i hated nursing. I don't know why i hate this capstone clinical so much. I'm thinking it may be because i'm alone here, there's no other students and friends with me. I don't know what to do with myself, i'm a really awkward and introverted person, and i hate talking on the phone which you do a lot as a nurse. Everyone else is so confident and knows what to do, and i'm that idiot nursing student who can't draw up meds correctly.

So what do i do?

i'm so sorry for my rambling, but i need some sort of advice from anyone. I definitely will finish nursing school, but how can i make my capstone more enjoyable? How do i make myself more comfortable in the role of a nurse? What type of job should i apply for after school is over?

[infinityRN_BSN]

hey I might be saying what others have already said- but, you are still in nursing school, that is a burnout in itself. The nervousness could just be from your preceptor or clinical professor just watching you, I get like that when like the joint commission or DOH is watching me- it happens. You will be nervous on your first job, because school doesn't compare to real life experience. You are going to learn on the job. But if after all that your guts tell you to leave before you even start, then do it. Just my opinion. hope you make whatever decision makes you happy!

[City-Girl]

Give it time, you haven't finished school yet and it's a lot different practicing on your own in the real world. If bedside nursing makes you nervous, maybe consider a job in an out patient setting (family practice, school for children with autism, home care). With that being said, only you know what's right for you. In my opinion, no education is ever a waste. You could consider moving your completed credits into a different career path (public health, pharmacy, research just to name a few.)

[ladedah1, BSN, RN]

Your experience sounds almost exactly like mine... all throughout nursing school, I felt like it was just not meant to be. Not only did I feel like I was terrible at it, but my clinical instructors said nothing dissuade this belief. I lacked confidence, was incredibly slow and nervous, and had a hard time adapting when something came up which altered my initial 'plan.' I was great at tests and written assignments, but I sucked when it came to 'real' nursing in clinical rotations... and this lack of confidence in my ability made me dread the idea of becoming a nurse.

Fast forward to my career and orientation was an entirely different experience. The process really helped me to hone my skills, the staff were supportive and encouraged my asking for help. Nearly three years later, I am confident in my role and would dare to say that I am a pretty awesome nurse... and I love my job. Don't let your pre-career experience determine how you feel. You have come so far and dedicated so much time to have this amazing opportunity. Clinical experience and real experience are often entirely different. Once nobody is 'hoovering' over you and anticipating your next mistake, the freedom to develop your skills and confidence will change how you feel about everything. Many of us are indecisive and shaky when learning something new and carefully watched under a critical eye. Your own criticism of your performance will guide you to ask for help when you need it, but the lack of constant surveillance will free your mind from unnecessary fear and allow you to focus on the task at hand. Stick with it and keep your head up. :)

[bitter_betsy, BSN]

You remind me a lot of my daughter... she is currently waiting for a doc appt (next week) to get herself onto anxiety meds. She is not in nursing school - but is a comp-sci major with an extremely heavy load. She is fully capable of doing what is being requested of her, however her lack of self confidence just blows all of her knowledge into shreds sometimes and she just loses it.

You wouldn't have gotten as far as you did if you weren't capable - so you have the skills. It sounds as if you need to BELIEVE that you have the skills. Whether this stems from anxiety or lack of self confidence or both - the result is the same. I believe you will find the right position for yourself in nursing - it might take a little time. In the mean time, I would utilize your schools counseling services. Talk to someone just a bit and be sure that you aren't battling a monster that could be tamed with a little medication. Our brains are incredible and they can help us and sometimes get us into situations that are difficult to handle (like anxiety).

For what its worth - I don't think you would still be here if you hated nursing. I am rather inclined to think you hate your current reactions to the environment - and luckily you are capable of changing those reactions. Being an introvert does make some things a little more difficult. You may need time and training to overcome some of those difficulties - or you just find a job where those skills aren't required or aren't required as much. You have come so far - this is just another step in the process. You can do this!!! Just close your eyes and jump if you have to. It will be ok.

[TruvyNurse]

I hated nursing school and I hated clinical even more. Hated my first 6 months as a nurse. Then it got better. I started to more and enjoyed my job. Stick it out. I think we all hate school and life in general toward the end

[gennn19, BSN, RN]

I just graduated from nursing school a few months ago and I can kind of understand your frustrations. I'm more on the introverted side too and I'm sure what you're feeling right now is very debilitating and daunting. When I had my med-surg clinicals, I HATED them. I thought, if this is nursing I'm not sure I want to do this. But the good thing about nursing is that there are tons of specialties and there is one for almost every personality type out there. As other posters suggested, have you considered outpatient services? I've heard there is a big need for nurses in these types of settings.

Personally, I was feeling discouraged from nursing when I thought everything was like adult med-surg. Then I had my pediatrics clinical and an externship with a peds rotation, and I absolutely loved peds (peds med-surg in fact!). Same specialty (med surg) but different population (children) and it made a world's difference for me. I also did an OR and PACU rotation, and a 2-week periop immersion program and discovered another hidden passion for perioperative nursing. I'm currently looking for a job in either of these areas as a new grad because I believe it'll make me happier than being in adult med-surg. The atmosphere is just so much different! I really do believe you can find your role in a certain specialty. Don't give up just yet! You worked very hard and you haven't given nursing a real chance yet. If after a year of nursing in your desired specialty you're still feeling discouraged, then maybe you should look into something else. Best of luck :)

[dee4422]

Hi I'm just starting and would love to see if I could buy your books from you. I hate that it didn't work for you, but its tons of things you can choose from. My email is [email protected] please let me know either way good luck to you.

[BS2RN]

I think you are scared and I used to be in your position. Once you get the hang of it, you will learn to love it. You did not graduate yet and I have to say that when you start working you might hate it even more depending on which unit you start in ( you will hate it even more before you like it) but once you start to build confidence with a couple of years of experience it will get better. I work in Post Anesthesia Care Unit ( PACU) and i love it. if you don't want to work at a hospital you can work in an office setting or work as a home health nurse, there are so many options. I wish you luck.

[Ben_Dover]

You Can be a writer. For some reason, i enjoyed reading your rant!

Wishing you the very best!

[mrnurse543210]

Since you say that objectively speaking it is not that bad (friendly coworkers and good preceptor), I wonder if it's just a general anxiety or bodily health issue. If your not functioning optimally in terms of body and brain burnout is much more likely to occur. I know this from experience. You could also try herbal remedies. I find that it helps me stay calm as well.

Nursing is a stable career with decent pay so objectively it's a smart choice. If you keep yourself healthy you can keep at it much easier.

[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

You don't know yet if you hate being a nurse, you're not a nurse. You do know you hate being a nursing student, and that's ok. You're certainly not the first to have second thoughts when hitting the home stretch. Nursing school can be brutal, especially toward the end. While nursing can also be brutal, especially at the beginning it is a different kind of brutal.

I won't lie to you and say the beginning of your nursing career will be a walk in the park because odds are it won't. The beauty of nursing though is there are so many different places you can work, so many different types of nursing you can do that you are bound to find a comfortable fit at some point. Since you are already so close to the end of school at least give yourself a chance to find what you like about nursing. It might not be easy. Actually I can pretty much guarantee it won't be easy, but give nursing and yourself a chance and you might find out it's worth it.

[Medic_Murse, BSN, RN, EMT-P]

Hi Newtons! Welcome to AN.com!

Maybe you could consider going into administration. You'd have a leg up on the majority, since your grades show that you have quite a bit of intelligence.

I'm as serious as a myocardial infarction! I can give you examples of others who got their RN, went almost directly into supervisory positions, and virtually lived happily ever after without a clue as to what it is to be a nurse!

Good luck to you, Newtons!

I can't top this. Goodnight folks!