welcome to the hilton...please dont forget to tip your waitress

virmm1, LPN · Oct 25, 2004

Great thread, So often we have to say one thing when we really want to say something else. I enjoyed reading this thread.

bam_bam · Oct 25, 2004

She did not feel like getting up to brush her teeth but got UP to CONTAMINATE the ICE MACHINE/KITCHEN with her spit-in pitcher?????????????!!
Ummm freaking GROOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs and senseless.

Just wanted to clarify, we got her a new pitcher to use with the ice machine:chuckle

GirlArcher · Oct 25, 2004

One of my favs...68 year old female in for COPD to Swing Bed (don't you just love "swing bed":uhoh3: ) status. Yelling very loudly, "Nurse, nurse, nurse!!!" go in to find her having a "panic attack" stating, "I can't breath".....she is on O2 per NC @ 6L, which she has taken off.....again.....for the tenth time that shift. I put it back on and explain why she needs to leave it on....Leave the room and return to my duties. 20 minutes later, the CNA finds me and asks if "B"'s O2 should be at 2.5L.....uuummmmm no, it should be higher....her Sat is a lovely 70%.....This is the 100th time she has turned her oxygen down. One day she told me she was blind and the doctors didn't know why....and yet she was tracking me with her eyes and watching me pass in the hallway and was able to call out to me.....mmmmmmm??:uhoh21: :rolleyes: Ya gotta luv em

lifeisbeautiful · Oct 26, 2004

In the recovery Room, we will occasionally have patients that will go home from there. One of the criteria is to make sure they are tolerating liquids. I offered my patient a choice of 4 types of juice and he had the nerve to look at me (and he was serious) and asked me if I could get him some fresh squeezed carrot juice. What in the :uhoh3: ? This is a friggin' hospital, not Jamba juice! :angryfire

xmaxiex · Oct 26, 2004

I haven't laughed so hard in a long time ! Last week when I dealt with an irate family member demanding to know why I didn't have time to clean her mothers jewelery in colgate toothpaste(apparantly this works well) . I stopped and laughed thinking of all my kindred nurse souls across the planet steppin and fetchin !

If only I had known what nursing was really all about !

lyceeboo · Oct 26, 2004

Pull you up in bed? I'm sorry sir/madam, but this unit has a "No Lift" policy, in order that patients be encouraged to participate in light therapeutic movement, to reduce incidence of DVT, and so as not to foster dependency, which in turn leads to a longer hospitalisation. Do it yourself.

That's a great one!! I'm going to use this next time. Last night my pt. kept calling for his "waitress". This is not the first time I've been called that.

laurakoko · Oct 26, 2004

I love this thread.......... I got a GOOD one.

It was 7:40 PM, and I am standing at the employee elevator with my purse on my shoulder, stethescope off my neck, jacket off, ready to go.

A family member walks up to me and asks me to get her some ice.

I gazed at her for a second, thinking, don't you see that I am off duty and leaving?!?!?, she says then, well can you get me some ice?

I then said, nope, my elevator is here.

WHAT are these people thinking??????????????????????

Cherybaby · Oct 26, 2004

This thread has been a riot! I loved reading it and knowing I am in GREAT company!!!

I do a lot of plastic surgery. We have a lot of young girls coming in to get breast implants. We always ask them to bring pictures of what size they would like to be, the look they are expecting, etc. We do this on purpose so that everyone is on the same page.

Well, we had one little lady who wanted to be "a nice full B". (She was so flat she was practically inverted!) We suggested that she goes to a "C" because generally, women like the way they look while the breasts are still swollen. Then, the swelling goes away, the boobs go down some, and they aren't as happy.

Nope. Make me a B.

So, we make her a nice full B.

Two days later...she wants her breasts redone. She wants more saline added. Okay, we said. No problem...we still had another 150cc's more to go in her implants. So, we set up surgery...and fill her up.

One week later...

I don't like them. They're too small.

Back into surgery she goes, only now, it's for NEW implants...because her old ones simply wouldn't expand as far as she wanted.

Two weeks later...

More saline please.

Long story short...she is now a size DD and stands STRAIGHT out at attention. One wrong move, and the eyes are poked out.

We've taken to calling her "Torpedo Tammy". :rolleyes:

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · Oct 27, 2004

:rotfl: Anything like this???? :rotfl:

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · Oct 27, 2004

:rotfl: Anything like this???? :rotfl:

Town & Country · Oct 27, 2004

Pull you up in bed? I'm sorry sir/madam, but this unit has a "No Lift" policy, in order that patients be encouraged to participate in light therapeutic movement, to reduce incidence of DVT, and so as not to foster dependency, which in turn leads to a longer hospitalisation. Do it yourself.

UNACCEPTABLE!

Don't you realize that your main goal in life is to provide the utmost in *Customer Service* so that your patient doesn't even have to move?

"Is there anything else I can do for you? I HAVE THE TIME" :angryfire

Town & Country · Oct 27, 2004

Pull you up in bed? I'm sorry sir/madam, but this unit has a "No Lift" policy, in order that patients be encouraged to participate in light therapeutic movement, to reduce incidence of DVT, and so as not to foster dependency, which in turn leads to a longer hospitalisation. Do it yourself.

UNACCEPTABLE!

Don't you realize that your main goal in life is to provide the utmost in *Customer Service* so that your patient doesn't even have to move?

"Is there anything else I can do for you? I HAVE THE TIME" :angryfire