Nurses EAT their own!!! Help!

[jaxnRN]

I am getting very depressed. I was working in a small OB office until last October. I worked with different women and we had our days but worked things out.

Well, I started at a hospital in October, (career change) and am working in OB. But, within the first 2 hours of work, I noticed something that might be the norm to some of you.

EVERY SINGLE nurse had something bad to say about another. Whether it was about her looks, her work, her anything!!! I didn't listen, as I always form my own opinions about everyone. But the problem is getting worse. It is almost like everyone is stabbing everyone else in the back. Little things, big things. I can't take it!!!!

If someone has a problem with me, I would rather they come to my face and tell me about it. I want EVEYRONE to just get along. I want us all to be NURSES, and be at our job for the patients. To stick together, to stick up for each other. The way that doctors do. But I am learning that nurses eat their own.

I don't know what to do. I interupt someone if they start talking negative about someone else. I don't listen and if I do hear it, I ignore it. I don't put in my 2 cents.

I know that I won't fix the world with this but does anyone have this as a major problem where they work??

I don't know who to trust. A nurse the other day told me to watch out for a couple of nurses who like to report things to administration. One of the nurses I THINK is my friend. BUt now I don't know.

I can't stand the phoniness in someone's actions when two minutes before they were talking really bad about that person. It's like junior high again and I hated junior high. It is another reason that I don't have too many women friends.....which is sad.

I don't know if I am being a victim of the problem but I would like to know, I think. I just don't know if I want to work somewhere like this. What do you think???????

[DebsZoo]

Originally posted by Stargazer

have been heard to wonder aloud why they don't just whip 'em out, measure, 'em, and be done with it.

:chuckle :chuckle :chuckle ROFL

[rachel h, BSN, RN]

Ugh... the last place I worked at as an aide was HORRIBLE! I sincerely believe that this catty behavior is a female thing, as I have NEVER had a problem with any of my male co-workers- they have always come to me with a concern.

That being said, I now work on a med/surg floor at a different hospital and the staff is fantastic! I think it is because our floor is so huge, you don't work with the same people very often and no one has time to muster up any gossip. It's beautiful!

[Gator,SN]

JaxnRN,

As a future new grad, as long as no one tapes their name to My chair, I promise to get along. :)

Seriously, its not just nursing, It's everwhere!! Keep doing what you are doing and sooner or later people will get the message that you are not willing to listen.

Gator

[NurseShell]

I'm a little late, but I'd like a Cosmo please!!

Women are catty, and territorial - PERIOD! End of discussion.

[angelbear]

Unless you are very tough skinned and dont care about fitting in, my advise is leave. If you stay and it goes against your grain but you find yourself unable to stand up to it, it will be toxic to you emotionally. Best wishes to ya.

[Stargazer]

Originally posted by NurseShell

Women are catty, and territorial - PERIOD! End of discussion.

Please, let's stop perpetuating this tired stereotype. It's really unhelpful, and if we ourselves have this attitude, why the hell should anyone outside our profession take us seriously?

As I said before, in my experience in the corporate world, men are at least as territorial as women; they're just more aggressive about it. So what? It's not a valid excuse for someone of either gender to treat a colleague like crap.

[psychonurse]

It's called but not very nice, nurses eat thier young and it happens all the time. I saw it happen in the hospital all the time....no matter what mostly from the fact that not only are you taking care of way to many patients and then you have this snot- nosed.....sorry for the terminology new nurse that is following you around that has had only one or two patients during thier student days and you have to work with them and all those patients.

I can remember when I came to work for corrections, there were about 4 older and wiser nurses that rode me like there was no tomorrow. I came very close to quitting cause I didn't think that I could do anything right. But through the years I started to realize that they weren't riding me cause they were mean but they were trying to make me the best correctional nurse that I could be and I am now glad that they were that way. I just hope that I am not that way to the younger staff but there are times that I am.....

[emily_mom]

Originally posted by psychonurse

...no matter what mostly from the fact that not only are you taking care of way to many patients and then you have this snot- nosed.....sorry for the terminology new nurse that is following you around that has had only one or two patients during thier student days and you have to work with them and all those patients.

I just hope that I am not that way to the younger staff but there are times that I am.....

Then maybe not generalizing new nurses as "snot-nosed" would make me believe you.

[askater11]

It's a WOMAN thing. I worked in a insurance company prior to nursing...all women it was the same problem.

I'm starting on a new unit/hospital. I'm so happy how nice/helpful they are. I'm really enjoying it at this hospital. I'm hired to float between two units/eventually three units.

So I hear the backstabbing that occurs. It occurs at lunch. I thought maybe I should stay away from people...don't really socialize with my fellow colleagues...but that's not me. I'm a quiet person...but I love conversing or talking to others. So I've decided to join everyone at lunch but stay neutral in the backstabbing conversations. (don't say anything at all)

[FloridaCCRN, CRNA]

Originally posted by KC CHICK

I know this sounds bad, but ...here it goes anyway....

I think this backstabbing is a problem of WOMEN and not of nurses in general. I've worked with men in an office environment (before I became a nurse)...and they don't behave in the catty way that women tend to do. Working with women in that same office, I observed much backstabbing and rudeness.

Sorry to say gals (myself included), but I see it as a gender issue...not a nursing issue. -OR- A gender issue that affects nursing....that might be a better way to put it.

Anne:D

You are absolutely right.....I've seen this way to often:rolleyes:

[caroladybelle, BSN, RN]

Let's see -women are witchy and it causes work problems.

Men are not witchy and start wars.

Men are in jail more often for violent crimes.

Men commit suicide more often.

Men are happier married than single. Women are happier single than married. When men get divorced, they seek to be remarried, women do not. (studies have shown this repeatedly).

Women do see Mds more often but live longer than men.

Does anyone other than me think that some witchiness would be asset, maybe?

(Personally, I have seen men be just as evil as women - they just don't discuss to death - amongst themselves)

[catrn10]

Unfortunately, I agree with most everyone else. The statement you made about Junior High School struck home with me. I KNEW this was familiar. I hated JR.High too. As much as I hate to say it, I think this is a problem directly related to being female, and I am not a good example of a female. Always got along better with the men and hate gossip. I would much rather discuss politics, cars, fishing, tools, computers, anything other than bad-mouthing someone. So I don't participate. I joke around a lot and tell funny stories. Been told I need to do stand up. My Childhood preacher once told a story of a woman who was beloved by all in the community. She was asked why that was and stated: "I just taste my words before they come out of my mouth. If they don't taste sweet, I swallow them." Always remembered that. I try to do that very thing and I change the subject( usually with some off the wall funny story from back home, I'm a redneck from Tennessee, so it's easy). Then I move on..