catrn10

Also :killing and beheading 5, yes f-i-v-e, Finches goes way beyond acting out. This is the crap serial killers did when they were little.

You can't talk sense into a woman who has none. If you could it would have happened years ago. I am more concerned with my grandchild than her. I even wonder if one of his Uncles or his cousin could be doing things to him. This was an act of rage, done coldly, with NO remorse. None at all, not even an "I'm sorry Nana".

He tore their heads off. When I asked him why, he told me, with a flat affect, that he didn't do it. I told him their blood and feathers were on his hands and he looked me straight in the eye and said" they didn't like me so I tore their heads off." I am beside myself with grief and fear for the child. I called his mother, my daughter, and she got him an appointment to see a shrink tomorrow. I am in shock, I just keep seeing their little bodies and his little hands covered in blood and feathers. He has not walked this earth long enough to be evil. His parents just divorced and his other grandmother keeps telling him my daughter is going to leave him and never come back. I am so scared for him and of him, he has a little brother. I feel bad for even thinking this , but I don't think he should be left alone with the baby now. What do I do, I love him. I love both of them. What do I do?

I wouldn't recommend taking that job if I already knew I wouldn't like it. And the 1:9 ratio isn't good either. Pediatric patients can be very tricky. Wait for a better offer. There is a Nursing shortage after all.

Many hospitals in my area require that an Rn co-sign the LPN's. I refused to do it and actually got written up for it! I was agency. so I refused to work outside of the units ever again. This same hospital would also leave an LPN as the lone nurse in the ICU. They said she was working under the RN on the floor. They had trouble getting RN's to work for them for very long for SOME reason........... :chuckle

I agree with fergus51 and plumrn. I was told to give morphine to a dying patient, in significant pain and discomfort. I was warned by the doctor that it was possible she might die as I titrated for pain relief and not to be upset. I was a newby nurse at the time. I was very careful and she was comfortable. She died on the next shift.

I had really meant the post to be an educational experience. Oh well. I appreciate the support I've been getting from everybody. I want to plug how good this kid is one more time though. During this whole mess, she and she sister both took jobs and basically supported the family until their father finally found a job. then he had to take 3 months off with no pay when he injured his knee and had to have a total knee replacement. Both girls stepped up to the bat and increased their work hours to ensure their baby brother had a Merry Christmas. And they did this without being asked. We had the best Christmas we have ever had.(Not the most expensive, the best!). Both girls are graduating with honors this May.

I didn't call her a liar, I said she lied about not having symptoms and denied, to me and herself what was really going on. At least that was what I was trying to say. She is a good kid and had not been prone to lying in the past. Which is why I accepted at face value what she told me.And yes, she was terrified- thus the lying and denial. And for those of you who did not understand or simply did not read it. I, her mother, did request a referral to a Neurologist at first. She went and was diagnosed with migraines and neck pain due to the 2 MVA's she had. She didn't even mention 3/4 of her symptoms until much later, as a matter of fact, she denied (or lied about them) when asked. I honestly did not know this would turn into a character assasination of my parenting skills when I posted this. The post was meant to point out how difficult it can be to correctly evaluate a teenager, especially when they are not exactly forthcoming with information. And it all was so subtle. In my defense, I have been fighting severe pain, loss of income and lifestyle due to a worker's comp accident. I was suicidal at one point.(I am fine now, depression wise, thanks to medication and counseling). I have 2 other kids at home (11 and 17), my oldest, married daughter got pregnant and sick during the same time period, and I had to keep my 2 year old grandson for several months. Plus I had 2 surguries, and was bedridden for nearly a year. I walk with a cane, need both knees replaced, and still need surgury on the other hand for carpel tunnel. Oh, and and this child had no less than 3 MVA's where she was the driver, and one where she was a passenger. And the car wrecks were not due to seizures, it was due to carelessness. And my husband got laid off permanently and had to find a new job, which took a year, during which we had no insurance and did not qualify for welfare. I imagine she also kept a lot to herself because she knew we didn't have any insurance or money. It's a wonder I noticed anything at all with all that happened..and I guess my assessment skills are rusty. And about the ADD moment, she was diagnosed with ADD at age 7. She had extensive testing done at that time. She did not have the hyperactivity problem, she would just space out. She was checked for seizure activity at that time and was normal. We worked with her and thanks to medication, diet and behavior management, she adapted and did well enough to go off her medicine. I mentioned to the Doctors that it was as if her ADD had returned full force and was told that with the stress of her senior year, etc. that it was not uncommon for the ADD to become worse. It seemed to make sense at the time. And the medication she was placed on was supposed to treat ADD and depression.

And Oh but she had had a Neuro consult, right after the accident. He is the one who gave her the nerve blocks and she lied and said they had worked. Teenagers can go to extraordinary lenghts not to be different and this kid is the Queen of denial.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I was not worried about a tumor as she had CT scans post MVA that were negative for everything except the "Brain Bruise" (The report actually said that":

Mom WAS there all along. But the child was hiding important symtoms because she thought she was going insane. She thought she was going to end up in a nut house. I could only tell what I knew and observed. As she rarely spends time at home,(she is VP of the student council, editor of the school news paper, on the County Youth Committee as VP, homecoming court, etc.) I didn't see much. Only when she had a crisis would she let me in on another little piece of info. I have never been so frustrated in my life and I have never seen a seizure like the ones she had. Very sutle stuff, especially since she has ADD. In retrospect, it seems so obvious, but the day to day was quite different. She would even lie about having the headaches. She would say they were gone. The symptoms got progressively worse, ie more frequently, as time progressed. I have never dealt with this type of seizure before now. Most of the time, it appeared to just be an ADD moment. The "bigger" ones didn't look or act like any I had ever seen. I still have trouble describing them. The word dystonia comes to mind, but even that doesn't quite fit. Plus, since she thought she was going crazy, she would become hysterical, crying and begging for me to help her, and saying she didn't want to go to the "Valley"( the local mental hospital). It was heartbreaking. Then it would blow over and everything would appear to be okay and she would refuse to discuss it and lie and say she was fine. Then BLAM! off we'd go again. She has a twin sister, I am involved in a Worker's Comp. thing and I had a total hip replacement, carpal tunnel surgery, was bedridden most of the time in pain and a mental breakdown during the same period of time. I probably wasn't at my most observant. I just wanted to see if anyone else came up with the answer any faster than the Docors and me.

Ok ladies and Gents, try this one on for size. See if you can correctly guess what is wrong with the patient before the Doctors finally figure it out! Real Life scenario: 17 y.o.w.f. presents to her GP's office with her mother, a disabled former ICU Nurse. Her complaint is "constant headaches in the back of my head that get worse sometimes." Her past history is significant for Asthma, Viral meningitis at 5 mo., spinal shock from a riding accident at 9 yrs. With no residual problems, MVA 8/03 wt. LOC, intubation at the scene, final DX of "severe concussion and brain bruise" She was subsequently treated for head and neck pain by injection of a block for 4 months afterward. She was involved in another MVA two weeks after the first and "hit my head", but did not seek treatment as "it was only a little bump". She also relates that she experiences sharp pains over her left temple "sometimes". The Mother reports that she has not "acted quite right" since she was involved in the car accident August 2003. The patient agrees, but is unable to explain exactly what has changed. The mother reports the daughter is moody and cries frequently. She states she is sleeping or sleepy most of the time, is forgetful, and cannot concentrate. The daughter denies feeling depressed, but cannot describe how she does feel. Drug screen is negative. A diagnosis of depression is made. The patient returns to the office several weeks later. The Mother states that the daughter is unimproved; in fact, she has had an episode that appeared to be a panic attack, hyperventilated, was unable to answer questions, and moved her limbs in a stiff manner. The Mother emphasizes that there was "something not quite right about it, it didn't really seem like a panic attack, but that is the closest thing I can compare it to other than a seizure of some kind." The daughter reports she can "feel it coming on" The anti-depressant is changed and an anti- anxiety med is added to take when she": feels a spell coming on". The mother also relates that counseling was not helping as her daughter felt the therapist "sucked". The mother, who had been present during 2 sessions, related that the therapist appeared " to have untreated ADD". Another referral is made. One month later, the patient presents with added symptoms of visual disturbances and I creased "panic attacks" The mother reports that the daughter had called her twice in one day while she (the mother) was out of town attending a funeral. In the first call, the daughter was oddly euphoric, in the second call, her daughter was very distressed and reported "seeing things, like I am close to something, but when I blink I am farther away than I thought". The boyfriend was called by the mother (as no one else was available) and asked to go check on the daughter. Upon arrival, he called the Mother, telling her the daughter was "having another attack." Not knowing what to do, he gave the daughter several puffs on her inhaler and a transene. He reported that she was now asleep, but her torso and arms turned "Kinda red." He reported that it had faded and she was breathing fine now. The mother drove across two states to get home. The anti-depressant, Effexor, is increased. 3 months later the mother calls requesting the daughter be seen immediately for possible seizure activity. An appointment is made that day and the daughter is brought in. The patient reports that she is having periods were she doesn't know what happened and friends have had to yell at her several times to get a response. She reports that her vision "does like a bugs-bunny cartoon at the end, only porky pig isn't in the middle of the black thing and it goes back and forth. " She reports numbness and tingling in her fingers during attacks. The patient is sent for a MRI of the head and neck and referral is made to a neurologist. The Neuro Doc orders an EEG. And guess what was found. Seizure activity. The patient is placed on Lamictal. Headaches and "attacks" diminish and stop within 1 week. The patient is now fine. Now how bad do You think I feel for letting this go on for so long before I figured it out? Real bad.... Guess it's a good thing I'm retired now. To give myself a break, I will say that the kid hid most of what was going on with her because she thought she was going insane. I felt so bad for her.

Well, things didn't get better, they actually managed to get worse for a while. I finally had surgery on my lt hip May 5. Unfortunately, it took so long to get it done that now I have to have my rt. knee replaced and I have carpal tunnel so bad I can't type of write much anymore. I was left to limp and pull myself around for so long everything else is breaking down. All of this started when I tripped over a carpet strip and fell at work, for those who don't know. I am in counseling now for severe depression and anxiety. I have great hopes it will help. I finally crashed and burned. The final trigger was my oldest, married daughter telling me she was going to name my lastest grandson after my ex-husband- the one who violently abused me and my mentally-retarded son. I fired my crappy WC attorney and have hired a new one who is much better, so far. I am going to end up totally disabled before this is over and I am having a real hard time with it. I don't intend to stay that way, if I can help it. I am working with a voice program for typing and I have hope that it will help me be able to do something. My husband got a job, with insurance, on May 4. I hope he keeps it. My two teenage daughters both have jobs now. We still have money problems and will end up in bankruptcy, but oh well. My oldest daughter isn't speaking to me (Re: name of new baby). I haven't seen my grandson in a week and I used to see him everyday. He is two and I miss him horribly. She won't let me see him until I come to my senses over the name. I have refused to discuss the issue with her. She can name the baby anything she wants. I may not like it, so I figure I'll just call him by a nickname or something. She doesn't want me to to that. I must accept the name and use it or no grandchildren. Go figure, I never said a bad word about her father to her so she wouldn't grow up with a legacy of hate and this is my reward. We are working on this in counseling. Things have got to get better.

I thank all of you for your caring. The Hotline I called was the only one in my area. The fee for counciling is based on income, something I don't have right now, all of it is mildly ridiculous."Hello, I want to kill myself""Oh, OK, what's your income level????" I don't feel sorry for myself, just angry and hopeless. I don't want to go to the ED, I used to work there.And money IS an issue, a really big one. If it weren't , I would not be in this mess. Right now I drift back and forth. I was going to write more, but I just can't. I promise I won't do anything for now. Thanks for caring.

I remain very depressed. Things with Worker's Comp could not be worse. I still believe they are deliberately messing my checks up to create financial hardship. My lawyer sucks. He said they were within the boundaries of the law, I have no recourse. I don't believe it. I have an appointment to see an attorney about appealing my disability claim feb.10. Now I need to make an appointment with yet a different one to file bankruptcy. That will make 3 leaches instead of one. I keep having thoughts of blood dripping from both wrists. I think that if I am dead at least the kids will have my social security checks and be eligible to get Pell grants to go to college and they would also get Medicaid. Then my daughter could get her feet fixed. The downside is that I would be dead. Some days even that doesn't seem to be a bad thing. I fell so helpless, angry and out of control. I either sleep too much or not at all. I wake up every two hours or so either way. When I wake up, I am assaulted by pain, and unpaid bills, mistakes I have made and my general unworthiness. I know I am in a major depression, but I can't get help, no money. WC refuses to pay for any help. The pain has gotten hard to bear and with no one willing to treat the knee pain, arm pain, wrist and hand pain, much less believe I even have it, what am I to do? The girls know we have no money, yet they hound me for prom dresses, etc. they don't even believe I hurt, I've been told several times I need to get off my ass and go back to work. That really discourages me. They have both told me they do not care if I hurt, they do not want to hear about it. As a matter of fact, I have heard that from virtually every member of my family. So now I am shut out, isolated, alone. I think a lot about dead, dying, being free of all this stress, not having to be a failure anymore, not having to look at the disgust and disappointment I see in their eyes. I called the mental health center to see if I could get an appointment and I could not. I don't even have the $15 or $20 necessary to get one. Which is pathetic. Yet we have money to buy my husband's beer and cigarettes. At least he has his priority's straight. I even thought maybe I should attempt suicide for no other reason than to get somebody to notice or care about how seriously depressed I am, I need help. But what kind of example would that give my children? I already feel like we have a "he who throws the biggest fit gets their way"thing going on around here. Or they negate your true feelings of despair, pain and anguish by saying I am being dramatic. But yet it still keeps coming back to that, whispering to me that if I just died, I wouldn't have to go through this anymore. It is very seductive at times and I worry that one day the despair will become so great that I listen. I wonder about all those overdoses I took care of. I think of how we would sit in report and say, "well, she didn't take enough to do the job right, she was just trying to get attention". Maybe they had reached out for understanding and help before too, maybe their families blew them off as being dramatic or were just tried of hearing about the pain and misery. Just like my family. Maybe it was the only way they could get anybody to care or listen. As I said, the allure of attempting suicide is becoming more and more seductive. I can't let this happen to me. But I have lost all hope. It's strange, but I feel like I am divided into two persons, one who is almost clinical, watching and analyzing what is happening to me, watching me sink further and further into depression, and the other who is drowning, sinking in despair. I wonder which one is going to win in the long run.