i've been seeing an elderly lady with lung ca for about a month and a half. she finished her first round of chemo and was supposed to start the second round yesterday. earlier this week she told me she was giving up, she's tired and she doesn't want to fight anymore. the onc referred her to hospice so i went to discharge her from home health today. she looked so worn out and tiny sitting on her couch. we held hands and talked for a bit, then she whispered, "you're not coming back?"
i lost it then and there, and i was still crying when i left. her last words to me are still in my head: "i love you."