Fired By Patient Family

[highlandlass1592, BSN, RN]

Yup. I'm gonna tell you to not let it bother you but it will. I know it did me. But you know what, the doc backed you up to your face but did they say it to the family? That is the key. Family members many times have unrealisitic expectations and can take it out on us as nurses. The problem presents when staff, administrators and doctors don't back us up. That is wrong. And it should change. Do I think it will? Honestly, nope.

Try to not let it bother you. Try to put it away and go forward. We can't get along with everyone...remember the patients and family members who have asked for you specifically, remember the care you give that they appreciated? Hold onto those times..let times like this go away. They will happen.

[carolmaccas66, BSN, RN]

Yeh, don't even worry about it. I didn't do anything wrong with a newly diagnosed terminal patient. He asked the other nurse if I could stay out of the room, he only wanted one nurse in there with him and his son. Mind you, the son was chatting up the nurse, and his dad was an imperious, very creepy individual who kept talking about how his balls and member were getting caught up on his IDC. The poor young RN I was working with didn't realise he kept c/o this so that she would have to re-adjust all his private parts. Poor soul....she will learn I suppose.

At least I didn't have to go in there. But later on I realised she hadn't given some of his meds (sigh).

As you get older, you realise some patients do have a preference for certain nurses, which is fine. Don't worry about anything unless they start to make formal complaints. Patients always have favourites, just like nurses do with patients.

And always keep a little notepad in your pocket if u care 4 difficult patients, in case they DO c/o anything. And believe me, they will cos they always do.

[Mulan]

You are not the first, nor the last.

Just be glad you don't have to deal with them anymore.

[Ahhphoey]

Don't beat yourself up about it. It happens to almost every nurse at some point and more often than not, it has nothing to do with the nure doing anything inappropriate. I was "fired" by a patient's daughter once after what I thought was a great, uneventful shift (this occurred in ICU by the way). She told the night shift charge nurse that she would prefer someone else care for her mother the next day. She didn't give any specific reasons, only that she wanted a more experienced nurse to care for her mom (at that point I had been a nurse for about 9 years and had been in ICU for 5). The charge nurse informed her that I was not new to nursing or ICU and that I was a very intelligent and competent nurse, but she would try to change the assignment.

Unfortunately, it was not possible to change the assignment, so we were "stuck" with each other the next day. Imagine my surprise, embarrassment, and disappointment when I found out the next morning what the daughter's request had been. I had went above and beyond making sure the patient was comfortable the day before as well as ensuring the daughter didn't need anything. I tried to act as if I didn't know what the daughter had said, but I couldn't help but become a little more detached and less social with her; I was by no means rude, but I wasn't going out of my way for her though I did still do my best for the patient. The patient was actively dying and that day was to be the day we removed her from Bipap permanently and basically let nature take its course. I still took extra care to make sure the patient was comfortable and resting well (she was still very much coherent) and her daughter couldn't stop thanking me for everything I did (which surprised the crap outta me seeing as she really didn't even want me to be her mom's nurse).

When her mom did finally pass, I was there at the bedside with her daughter and together we bathed her and prepared her for the morgue. She hugged me and thanked me again for everything and we parted ways. No doubt my feelings were hurt, but I tried not to take it personally. In the end, things worked out well, but it doesn't always happen that way.

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

It happens to many of us from time to time. Most of the time it is not personal, so don't let the "what ifs and whys" plague you. For example, when my mom was in the hospital, she had a very sweet and vigilant nurse for 3 straight days, but after each lunchtime, this nurse had an overpowering scent of garlic on her breath which made Mom really nauseated (she was getting radiation at the time). She asked the charge nurse to assign her another nurse, but wanted to keep it on the DL as to not hurt the other nurse's feelings.

You just never know. Let it roll and continue to deliver good care!

[JennRN65]

Yes, it happened to me before. I will tell you to try and not let it bother you, but it will regardless.

Sometimes it has nothing to do with you (the majority of the times), but has to do with the stress level of the family and their interpretion of the situation.

Either way, you feel bad.

I was "fired" 15 minutes into a shift recently. My bad - was assessing my patient with curtain closed and family started pulling curtain back and walking in. I explained what I was doing and asked them to return in 15 minutes. I was deemed rude and was told the family member did not want me near their loved one.

Hey, it's only an ICU setting and a critically ill patient. I guess I should have stopped and delayed my assessment. I found out later in the evening that they (the family) had issues with various things (not relating to nursing care - just life in general) during the day and I guess I happened to be there at their breaking point.

[noelia23RN]

I know that this incident probably hurt your feelings, but you just have move on and it will happen again, you can please everyone!!!

[tablefor9, RN]

Hon, if you've been a nurse long enough, you're gonna get "fired". I'm sorry that happened to you, but most times it's just a personality thing...and not usually *our* personality that's the problem. At least you didn't have to deal with that pt/family. And that's probably all to the good.

[caliotter3]

It happens frequently in home care and families are told about their ability to choose caregivers that they are comfortable with. They are also told that there are only so many nurses available to choose from as well as so many home care agencies to choose from. I met one family that had gone through about a dozen agencies in ten or eleven years. They were on their last agency and many nurses in the community already had them pegged and refused to go back to them. When this family finished with this particular agency, they threw in the towel and placed the patient in an institution. There really are only so many nurses to go through. That should make things a little more reasonable sounding to you.

[amiro31]

LOL...I just got 'fired' by my patient tonight. It's okay though, learned not to take it personally....but boy am I glad I'm not 'allowed' to take care of him..it's a treat for me, for when that patient get rotated coz no one wants to take care of him d/t his attitude, they have to 'pass me over'. Not complaining.

[TonyaM73, ASN, RN]

I was fired once due to the fact that the pt wanted his insulin given HIS way and not the doctor's order. He would want more or less at alternate times from what was ordered and I would tell him that this was not how it was ordered and he is more than welcome to refuse any medication, but I can not PRESCRIBE any drug. Well, after a couple of days they fired me.

I was told by my charge nurse, but there was a medication due 30 after I gave a previous one and it was due now. I went in there with the med and asked them if they wanted me to give the med or if they wanted to wait for the new nurse. I also told them that I didn't know when the new nurse would be in here since she is with another patient. They told me to go ahead and give it. Before I walked out of the room I asked them what I did to make them change nurses. They told me that it was due to the medications and that they wanted to change nurses to see if anyone else would give them the insulin the way they wanted it. :) I told them that ANY good nurse is going to follow the doctor's orders and not make it up as the go. They told me that "Oh okay. well if no one else will do it the way we want it, then I guess we will stick with you."

Seriously??? The really crazy part was the wife is a PCT in my hospital.

[merlee]

I've been 'fired' by patients more times than I can count! I tend to be a bit assertive, and set down expectations for my patients.

One fairly young obese diabetic woman had a wound on the bottom of her foot, requiring a vacuum device. It was NEVER on when I got to the house because she insisted on walking on it. I had been with her long enough to go thru 2 courses of IV antibiotics. I begged her to try to not bear weight on that foot. Finally, I tried the other route - I offered to pay for a pedicure when the wound was healed. She called the agency complaining that I was rude and sarcastic.

Next time I saw her was post-BKA.......

You can't please all the people, not even some of the time.

Best wishes.