Fired By Patient Family

Nurses General Nursing Nursing Q/A

I had a very difficult weekend at work. Very high acuity patients. One of my patients' family members asked the doctor for me not to take care of the patient anymore. The doctor was really apologetic, agreed totally with me, but we agreed it would be best for me to switch assignments. I KNOW I didn't do anything wrong. I have gone over it with several other staff members and the doctor. I made the mistake of asking for family to come stay with the patient because he was increasingly anxious, impulsive, and erratic.

Have you ever been "fired" by a patient/family member?

So let me get this straight, you were asked to change assignments because some pt didn't like you???? But you were not actually fired? Do I have this right? If so, thats nothing to scuff about, it happens. Now if you were FIRED, that would be different. Either way, sorry you had a bad weekend.

Seriously, if my family member was in the hospital and the nurse called me to come in to be with them because they were becoming increasingly anxious, impulsive, and erratic, I would be thanking her.

However, with patient acuity and staffing levels as they are, chances are pretty good that I, or another family member, would already be there.

Two different mindsets.

Specializes in ICU, M/S,Nurse Supervisor, CNS.
Seriously, if my family member was in the hospital and the nurse called me to come in to be with them because they were becoming increasingly anxious, impulsive, and erratic, I would be thanking her.

However, with patient acuity and staffing levels as they are, chances are pretty good that I, or another family member, would already be there.

Two different mindsets.

I agree. I see it all too often that family members are upset that the patient has been restrained, or has fallen and injured themselves while hospitalized. Yet, if you ask these same family members if the can come in and sit with their loved one to prevent these things, well you may as well have asked them for a million bucks! So, kudos to the OP for attempting to use any and all resources available to keep the patient safe.

In my clinical last semester I had two of my patients "fire" me. It was not anything that I had done but the first patient had changed their mind about having a student to care for them. The second patient was actively dying, the family thought that I would learn nothing from having this patient so they requested that I "not bother" their loved one. This was hard not to take personally. Even my clinical instructor was not helpful, she gave me a different assignment each time and told me atleast they told you in the first 2 hours of being on the floor! So difficult at times...BUT I have learned A LOT form these type of situations so early on. We are here for the patients, whatever else we encounter on the way... can be added onto "life experiences" I guess. ? 

Specializes in ED, ICU, Education.
Seriously, if my family member was in the hospital and the nurse called me to come in to be with them because they were becoming increasingly anxious, impulsive, and erratic, I would be thanking her.

However, with patient acuity and staffing levels as they are, chances are pretty good that I, or another family member, would already be there.

Two different mindsets.

Ummm....isn't that a part of the National Patient Safety Goals? "If a patient poses a danger of falling or pulling lines, etc due to confusion, the BEST practice is to have a family member sit with them." That's obviuosly not the direct quote, but JCAHO will ask about it.

So...good for you! Their loss. Now, they will have to watch their loved one be even more agitated because he/she is restrained. Or, now have any kind of communication skewed with their loved one because they are sedated with Ativan.

Unfortunately, you will have several more encounters like this. Take these negative experiences and turn them into positive learning ones.

Good luck!:yeah:

I'm not saying by ANY stretch of the imagination to get confrontational, but once you find out who your relief will be, I personally would enter into the room and say in a way that is as nice as you can muster, "I heard from Dr. (x) that you were possibly unsatisfied with the care I was giving (patient). I just wanted to come in and see if there was anything that I can do next time to improve myself? Did I say something that was offensive or was my care in any way not to your liking?" This is typically where the family will talk it out with you. If they're rational, you can sometimes talk it out and possibly make a so-so or bad situation better. I've actually had a few occasions where the family has 100% taken things I've said out of context, and by doing this I've cleared the air, told them what I actually meant, and had the ability to diffuse the situation. I've even had a few patients families back out of being ticked off and completely reverse their decision to request another care giver. During this process you have to be an active listener. After they're done venting, if there's just absolutely nothing that you can change or apologize for (If they say they didn't like you because they thought your tattoo on your forearm was trashy, you can't change that obviously), then say, "Ok we are in the process of changing the nursing assignment... I just wanted to check on (patient) before we started. From what our charge nurse is saying at this point your new nurse will be (nurse) and she/he will be in after we have given each other report."

The most annoying things with these people is you probably lucked out because you no longer have to deal with a family that is rude and obnoxious, but if the above suggestion doesn't work then the new nurse is going to have to listen to them bi&ch, complain, and moan for the rest of the freaking night.

Honestly, 100%, and without a doubt you CANNOT please everybody. *I* am one of those people that can diffuse most situations... This being said, however, if you confront a person that is being passive aggressive (talking to a doc or narking to a nurse manager instead of saying something to your face) you typically will be able to diffuse the situation... Alternatively if you're not the most *ahem* charismatic person in the world, sometimes asking a supervisor to run offense helps... BOTH of you go into the room and see if you can't settle the situation.

Seriously??? The really crazy part was the wife is a PCT in my hospital.

Alas, those are sometimes the worst ones.

How bout' this little experience. The elder patient was very happy with my care. The daughter and her husband had been visiting frequently for two days. The husband made many innapropriate advances/comments to me re: my physique (never figure out how they can tell looking at baggy scrubs) and my 'female attributes'; right in front of his wife no less! I completely ignored all his comments...I mean did not even acknowledge them...pretended as if he had said nothing at all. No feedback from me given at all. Then the end of the second day, they came back to visit at dinner, and the daughter tells my charge nurse that she would like another nurse to care for her mother. When the charge asked why, the daughter said I was 'too provacative'!!!!! Didn't help that the charge nurse was already a little envious of my figure. I was actually asked by her if "perhaps my posture was a little too proud"? I started wearing even baggier scrubs after that; but will never alter my good posture for the sake of anyone! Sorry to say, still does not prevent some men from acting out. Yuck. Still does not quell some co-workers' envy or snide remarks. Oh, yuck.

Specializes in floor to ICU.

On the occasion when this has happened, I try and see it for what it is: a blessing! :D

Specializes in Adult Oncology.
Yup. I'm gonna tell you to not let it bother you but it will. I know it did me. But you know what, the doc backed you up to your face but did they say it to the family? That is the key. Family members many times have unrealisitic expectations and can take it out on us as nurses. The problem presents when staff, administrators and doctors don't back us up. That is wrong. And it should change. Do I think it will? Honestly, nope.

You are too quick to assume that. The doctor in question, this patient's doctor, is my father. We decided it would be best for me to switch assignments because it would become a giant ethics issue if he even attempted to back me up. For the record, the family did NOT know the doctor is my father.

I had a very difficult weekend at work. Very high acuity patients. One of my patients' family members asked the doctor for me not to take care of the patient anymore. The doctor was really apologetic, agreed totally with me, but we agreed it would be best for me to switch assignments. I KNOW I didn't do anything wrong. I have gone over it with several other staff members and the doctor. I made the mistake of asking for family to come stay with the patient because he was increasingly anxious, impulsive, and erratic.

Have you ever been "fired" by a patient/family member?

Yes-rare occurrence -but have to say I truly said "thank God!" since they were horrible to work with even though you have done everything to please them!

Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.

The question should probably be, who hasn't been fired by a family.

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