13 things a nurse won't tell you

StNeotser, ASN, RN · Sep 17, 2009

Do not shout and complain to me again about the doctor not being here when s/he said they would. You need to take it up with them, not me. I'm not their secretary. But I'd like to be around when they get here to see if you shout and complain in the same manner about it that you did to me.

Pepper The Cat, BSN, RN · Sep 17, 2009

I am not the enemy. I want you to get better and go home. Trust me - its easier on me to let you lie there in bed and do nothing. But you won't get better so that is why I am breaking my back to haul you out of bed several times a day.

You chose to have the knee/hip replacement. Now get out of that bed and do your physio so it wasn't a waste of time.

ernoc333 · Sep 17, 2009

Runny nose for 15 minutes with no other symptoms is not a medical emergency. No, you may not be Triaged first, ahead of the Cardiac Chest Pain nor the Acute Asthma patient, just because you verbally abuse the Registrars.

Chronic Temper Tantrums, worse x 1 hour PTA is not a medical emergency. Get a parenting book.

Rushing to the ER to have an RN administer Tylenol to your child with an uncomplicated URI means that Taxpayers just bought you a $650.00 dose of Tylenol.

Calling the ER ahead of time, saying, "my Migraines are acting up, I'll be there in 15 minutes and I want to be seen first when I arrive" doesn't mean anything to the Triage Nurse who has 23 arrivals, some of whom are fighting for their lives.

After weekly visits for "I need a place to stay tonight", most ER Nurses really want to get down on you and say, "This isn't a Hotel", but they only hold back so they don't get into trouble with their management.

You will NOT abuse my staff. I will Prosecute.

If you have a minor, not even visible Contusion, and you ask why you aren't getting the same level of attention from the staff that a Critical Patient fighting for his or her life is, not only will the medical staff, but also surrounding patients and visitors will believe you are an idiot.

If you come to the ER stating, "I've had a Runny Nose and Cough since yesterday, a 99 degreee fever and I'm not breathing..." Trust me, if you can speak that normally, I am 100% sure you are breathing.

Sick or Not Sick. Determines Minimal Attention versus Intensive Attention. TO CARE FOR THE SICK is the function of the Medical and Nursing Staff in the ER. Don't expect to receive Intensive Attention if you come to the ER when you're not sick. Also keep in mind that you're being Irresponsible and Misusing the Emergency System when you call an Ambulance or come to the ER when you're not sick, and that someone fighting for his or her life will get less care when you do so.

For future reference: Sick= Bleeding out, Heart Issues, Neurologic Issues, Psychiatric Crises, Precipitous Labor, Seizure, Burns, Open Lacerations. Not sick= Menstrual Cramps, Acute Onset Yeast Infection, Fight with Boyfriend and want his Attention, acute allergic Rhinitis, Superficial Paper Cut, Broken Fingernail, requesting daily Enema.

Why do Not Sick people use an Ambulance to come, while Truly Sick People's families DRIVE them in?

If you weight 300 pounds and can walk normally now, and on a daily basis, please don't ask the 110 pound nurse to lift you off your wheelchair when you can easily do it yourself.

If you are a drunk male in the ER asking your nurse for sexual favors, you have a LESS THAN ZERO chance of getting one EVER in this lifetime.

talaxandra · Sep 17, 2009

I get that you're... unhappy, shall we say, that you have whatever you came in with but renal failure, strokes, diabetes etc aren't my fault so stop taking it out on me.

If you can scream at me your breathlessness is not a 'call the crash team' level emergency - take slow, deep breaths and calm down while I check your obs and call the doctor. No, you're not dying - yet.

Virgo_RN, BSN, RN · Sep 17, 2009

Pointing at the patient and saying "Ice chips for her" the moment I walk into the room to see why the monitor is alarming will not result in ice chips being brought by me.

EymieICURN · Sep 17, 2009

If you do not want to leave the room while I clean your family member, then grab some gloves and a washcloth and help me out!

I do not read lips! so stop wasting your time trying to talk to me with that tube down your throat. All I am going to do is turn up the white stuff and put you to sleep.

NO you cannot have a bedpan...can you see we are giving report!?

catlynLPN · Sep 17, 2009

If you do not want to leave the room while I clean your family member, then grab some gloves and a washcloth and help me out!
I do not read lips! so stop wasting your time trying to talk to me with that tube down your throat. All I am going to do is turn up the white stuff and put you to sleep.
NO you cannot have a bedpan...can you see we are giving report!?

Wow....I hope I'm not ever your patient. I feel sorry for the ones who are.

Keep em sedated and no bedpans, huh?

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Sep 17, 2009

Please keep in mind that this is a venting thread........thanks.

nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN · Sep 17, 2009

Don't be a freakin' drama queen (or king). I've seen seriously, point of death ill -- you're not it.

Our nurse's station is not your television set. We're actually discussing how to help people who are truly ill, not ones like you who check in with "chest pain" every time you have an argument with your husband.

For God's sake, make your mom a DNR. She's brain dead, has a PEG, and is on a vent.. She is never coming home. Why are you making us torture your mom? Could it be because you asked me "how long do we have after Momma passes before we have to tell Social Security to stop her check?"

I'm looking at your telemetry. I've seen people have a heart attack. You have a textbook case of normal sinus rhythm, 73 beats a minute, no PVCs, no PJCs, you can't even work up a first degree block. So, no, I'm not going to wake up the cardiologist at 3 am because "my heart's racing, and I'm skipping beats." The 3 (yes, THREE) cardiac caths you've brow beat the doc to run keep telling you there's nothing wrong with you. And no, I will not call "disability" and tell them you need to be on it.

If you tell me one more time how to do my job, you just might get to try it.

MikeyBSN · Sep 17, 2009

You just got here 2 minutes ago and you tell me you have abdominal pain. So no, I will not give you a food tray.

I'm not your mother. If you want to go outside and smoke then fine. But just know you'll have to be re-triaged and wait forever to come back inside. Don't get mad at me, I don't make the rules.

Again, I'm not your mother. I told you not to eat anything so if you want to chow down on that bag of McDonald's that your boyfriend just brought you then fine. But don't get mad at me when surgery tells you that you have to wait another 12 hours in pain because you ate.

Taking a kid who can't breath into the back before taking your kid with sniffles into the back doesn't make me racist.

You came in last night high of PCP, naked and covered in urine. Nobody here stole your cell phone, and no, I don't know what you did with it and neither does EMS.

Don't tell me you're allergic to toradol, tylenol and morphine but you usually get "the one that starts with a 'D'".

There are hundreds of drug companies that make thousands of drugs. If you don't know the name of the drug, or at least why you're taking it, then I'm not going to be able to figure it out for you. Telling me that you take the "little white pill" is like a witness telling the police that the getaway car had wheels on it.

No, the ER doctor is not going to fill out your 14 page disability form.

If you're covered in head to toe with tattoo's, then don't tell me you're afraid of needles.

"Needles" is not an allergy.

Don't bring your baby to the ER in a snowstorm in the dead of winter because he "feels hot". Go buy a thermometer and some motrin. They're available at any drug store.

PAERRN20 · Sep 17, 2009

No I will not get you 5 children popsicles so they can let them drip all over the floor and down the hall.

No I can't give you a shot of that D-d-dilaudid or the Dem-dem-demerol stuff too. It doesn't work like that.

No I will not tell that doctor you think he is a jacka**. The road runs two ways buddy.

No I will not answer you mother's brother's baby daddy's son question about his STD. And I really don't wanna take a look at it either.

No I will not give you information on your neighbor over the phone. Ever heard of HIPPA?

No you can't sleep in that bed. Our beds are for patients who are actually sick, not rude visitors.

Oh I could go on but I won't!