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The other day, I had someone say,..."That's my ****, referring to a spot on the floor dark in color. LOL!
I am sure you all have tons of them!
I work in pediatrics. The other day a slightly delayed five year old told me, with a very cheerful look on his face, "I don't like your face!" His caregiver was mortified, hahaha, and made him apologize. I already knew I was not that attractive, but kids will always tell you the truth as they see it, so now I know for sure, haha!!
Colleague and I trying to insert a Foley into a fellow with acute ETOH withdrawal who turned out to have some kind of hypospadies, making insertion challenging.
He is in restraints, confused, agitated, struggling, but stops when I take hold of him to begin attempting insertion. He looks down, grunts once, twice, then states "Don't worry ladies...it gets a LOT bigger than that!"
Many years ago when we used to restrain patients, I had a little old blind man who was a real Houdini. About every hour, he would remove his gown, his TED house and then try to get at his foley. Routinely, we were in his room reassuring him, trying to orient him and dressing him in his gown and TEDs and then replacing the tape to keep his foley secured to his leg. On one of these occasions I asked him what we could do to make him more comfortable and he replied, "Well, you can stop coming in here tying me down, monekying with my [member] and dressing me up in womens' clothes."
This was not only hilarious, but a very good lesson for me. I always think of this man when I am dealing with delirious patients and I am so grateful we no longer use restraints.
Elderly dementia resident with a number of co-morbidities,came back from two codes and remained full code...Still verbal,completely immobile per baseline.Her bed was beside the window,every time we turned her to face it she would panic and scream"I'm falling out of the g##d### window,come quick,bring orange juice"....Loudly...repeatedly....
Elderly dementia resident with a number of co-morbidities,came back from two codes and remained full code...Still verbal,completely immobile per baseline.Her bed was beside the window,every time we turned her to face it she would panic and scream"I'm falling out of the g##d### window,come quick,bring orange juice"....Loudly...repeatedly....
If we'd all only known orange juice can keep a person from falling! Think of all the incident reports we WOULDN'T have had to fill out!
"Fall Risk"? order 5 oz OJ po qid!
Farawyn
12,646 Posts
They are 90. They know EVERYTHING!