I was walking through the hallway today and a family member of one of our patient's was talking on their cellphone-- apparently giving an update to someone about the patient. This is what I hear: "Well, no, he's not very awake today. I think they seduced him while they did a procedure."
If I had milk in my mouth at the time, it would have come out my nose!
We do a lot of things in the ICU, but seducing is not one of them!
OK, now it's your turn! What crazy things have you heard?
Working in the Neonatal ICU: from outside the hospital people that hear what type of unit I work in : Awww, how sweet! You just go to work to rock and hold sweet babies!! (perhaps they misunderstand what 'ICU' means??)
From a parent at work once: I should go to nursing school. You all have great jobs, you just get to sit around all the time. (I happened to be spending most of the hour she was there sitting next to a very critical patient doing a lot of charting.)
the son of a patient on hospice for end stage dementia refused to allow us to start his mother on ativan, after numerous episodes of severe agitation. he googled the medication and learned about all its ‘horrible’ side effects. instead, he wanted a script for marijuana. apparently that doesn’t have any side effects.
I used to work in a very small hospital where the clientele were largely uneducated. We used to have a guy who had sickle cell disease who would come "the scum-ergency room" every 3-4wks for "bomickin'.
My favorite is when people self-diagnose themselves by looking online. "Well I was feeling fatigued & nauseous, so I looked it up and found out I probably have: _______."
While taking a patient's history one day, I was told that she had been treated for Fire Balls of the Eucharist. (Fibroids of the uterus).
Another lady indicated that her severely handicapped daughter had been perfectly normal until she "caught the screaming Baby Jesus." (Spinal Meningitis)
Another lady wrote "Go to hell and Shut up" in response to the question: What is the primary language spoken in the home.
MickeyTong
59 Posts
"Only if it gives you an erection....."