Friend diagnosed with cancer but can't get surgery?

Nurses General Nursing

Updated:   Published

Hello all,

My mom's boyfriend was diagnosed with prostate cancer earlier this year and he was supposed to get surgery scheduled to remove it. It was stage 2 I believe so fairly treatable but they haven't been able to get the surgery scheduled. I guess due to the doctors not accepting his insurance or something. 

It keeps dragging on and I don't understand why it's taking so long.  It's a serious thing that needs done... and now they are saying they think it may have spread and needs another MRI.

If they did the surgery already it wouldn't have spread..... I feel very frustrated and don't know what to do or how to help. Anyone else been through this or seen this happen? What should we do? I feel like he is falling through the cracks and I can't believe this is allowed to happen. 

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Try another doctor/hospital, call the insurance company to see what’s going on and find one that does take his insurance. Push come to shove, find out what the self-pay rate is and set up payment arrangements. Hugs. 

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Specializes in Emergency Department.
10 hours ago, Juniper83 said:

Hello all, not sure if this is the right place to post this, but wanted some opinions/ advice. My mom's boyfriend was diagnosed with prostate cancer earlier this year and he was supposed to get surgery scheduled to remove it. It was stage 2 I believe so fairly treatable but they haven't been able to get the surgery scheduled. I guess due to the doctors not accepting his insurance or something.  But it keeps dragging on and I don't understand why it's taking so long.  It is a serious thing that needs done... and now they are saying the think it may have spread and needs another mri. If they did the surgery already it wouldn't have spread..... I feel very frustrated and don't know what to do or how to help. Anyone else been through this or seen this happen? What should we do? I feel like he is falling through the cracks and I can't believe this is allowed to happen. 

The American health care system in one paragraph. ☹️??

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Sometimes you deal with logistical challenges.

My husband had cancer surgery over the Summer. It took a while to get a date because his surgery required a particular OR capable of intra-op radiation, so the type of OR was a limiting factor.

Then the surgical oncologist had to coordinate a date and time with the radiation oncologist. Both of them had busy schedules, so it took some time to get all the logistics lined up to get the surgical date.

Over the Summer, all the surgeries that had been delayed during the Spring lockdown were also getting caught up, so OR was busy at baseline.

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14 hours ago, Juniper83 said:

Hello all, not sure if this is the right place to post this, but wanted some opinions/ advice. My mom's boyfriend was diagnosed with prostate cancer earlier this year and he was supposed to get surgery scheduled to remove it. It was stage 2 I believe so fairly treatable but they haven't been able to get the surgery scheduled. I guess due to the doctors not accepting his insurance or something.  But it keeps dragging on and I don't understand why it's taking so long.  It is a serious thing that needs done... and now they are saying the think it may have spread and needs another mri. If they did the surgery already it wouldn't have spread..... I feel very frustrated and don't know what to do or how to help. Anyone else been through this or seen this happen? What should we do? I feel like he is falling through the cracks and I can't believe this is allowed to happen. 

I understand that you want to help, but as "the daughter of his girlfriend", you're really not entitled to know or do much. At best, you can encourage him to follow up with the people directly involved in his care.

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18 minutes ago, Sour Lemon said:

I understand that you want to help, but as "the daughter of his girlfriend", you're really not entitled to know or do much. At best, you can encourage him to follow up with the people directly involved in his care.

It's more me helping my mom as she is doing everything for him, and it is taking a toll on her as she is disabled and has a lot of medical problems herself.  

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Specializes in retired LTC.

It's the timing right now. PP RNperdiem summed it up so well.  I speak from first-hand experience. I was newly cancer-diagnosed this May. It has been a logistical nightmare trying to orchestrate & fine-tune all the diagnostics (CT, nuc stress test), providers (incl gyn, onc, onc rad, cardi, PMP) clearances, insurance, laboratory, dates, medi-amb transportation).  I'm treating with a  well-known, respected cancer center with 3 locations and all 3 are booked solid!  So doing all this has taken the patience of a Saint, which I am NOT. I am TENTATIVELY sched next week to actually BEGIN the rad onc tx protocol. That's 6 months! And I still have all my other health and home care issues to deal with.

It's been ME, myself & I, negotiating my process, with HIPAA. Unless your Mom is his LEGAL durable medical POA, she's limited. And YOU're just another rung LOWER down on that ladder. It really falls upon him to be actively assertive, or to be working with a designated Case Manager or Navigator (they seem to have some better pull).

It's admirable that you're so concerned for both their welfare, but all you can pretty much do is provide information to him & Mom and let them push it.

Good luck to you & them.

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Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.

You need to find out where the ball is being dropped, why isn't the surgery being scheduled. Has he been to the surgeon yet and they are not scheduling surg, what is the reason?, covid backup, ins issue etc, keep calling and asking (hounding) them. If it is an insurance issue (needs approval, needs reapproval bc too much time lapsed etc), call the insurance company directly). No appt with the surgeon yet, call the primary and see if approp paperwork is in (the referral, ins paperwork etc). See if there is a patient advocate, pt navigator etc that can help. Show up in person if necessary to ask questions, sometimes this gets things done quicker. Just keep making calls until you get answers.

This can be very frustrating and I wish you all well!

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Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.
39 minutes ago, amoLucia said:

I was newly cancer-diagnosed this May

Wishing you wellness and ((hugs))!!

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Specializes in retired LTC.

Daisy - TY.

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Specializes in Critical Care.

As a general observation, it's not uncommon for patients to hear the word "cancer" or "tumor" and assume the best thing is for immediate surgery. When they don't get immediate surgery, they often seem to misunderstand this as being an insurance issue.

In the case of stage II prostate cancer, immediate prostatectomy is not necessarily the most appropriate plan, typically active surveillance is more appropriate since radical prostatectomy in patients with stage II and other significant health problems is often more likely to do more harm than good, and there's no documented benefit in mortality risk when prostatectomy is performed within 6 months of diagnosis vs longer than 6 months.  Active surveillance can better differentiate those with stage II would benefit from surgery those for whom surgery would be more harmed by it, and without increasing the risk of the patient dying from a delayed surgery.  

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Specializes in retired LTC.

Muno - TY for the mini lesson. Very informational. I like continued learning.

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