I'm taking A&P II and there's a girl in my class who basically won't leave me alone, she constantly wants me to study with her and explain everything the prof says in the middle of lecture! So I be missing things that the prof says because I would have to stop listening and turn next to her and basically repeat something to her or explain it to her. She could easily ask me for the material after the class and not during. I tell her this but she doesn't care.
Also I do not do group study when only thing I have to do is memorize the material, but she keeps bugging and trying to meet up with me so I basically can teach her the information. I barely have time to do that since I taking 5 other major pre-nursing class.
But really made me think if I should be her friend is when she told me that we can cheat off each others lecture exams today in class!!! She said the teacher won't notice and we just need to be casual about it. But I think she's just trying to be my friend for that sole reason to use me for a grade.
I don't know if I should continue being friends with her or not because she is very needy and honestly I feel like she's trying to be my friend for all the wrong reasons. She seems desperate to get an A in the class and I think that I'm a easy target for her to manipulate because I'm nice and have a 4.0 GPA.
Edit: Also during the exam, she kept glancing over my arm to see what I wrote down but I tried to cover it the best I can without being noticeable. And when I was done with my exam before her, she told me to just wait a second.
!"hit the road hack"....there are toxic people we encounter, can you change where you sit in class so she / he will not be distracting...?
Yeah I can change my seat. But I think she's dropping the course anyway. She texted me that she didn't do so hot on the exam. She got a D on it.
I also took the leap of faith like you guys said and told her that I didn't feel comfortable with her cheating off on me and I rather not sit next to her because I can't focus with her constantly pushing me for responses during lecture.
I sent that to her two hours ago and she hasn't texted me back yet.
Specializes in Nephrology Home Therapies, Wound Care, Foot Care..
Sounds like your problem is solved, but something to keep in mind is that if she cheats off your work, YOU too are cheating, and are subject to disciplinary action. Could mean expulsion, and that on your transcript will likely mean you'll never get into nursing school.
In reading this the first thing that popped into my head was if you took out "A&P II and replaced it with "sixth grade math" the rest of it would make a lot more sense. Instead of referring to nursing courses and instead referred to recess and gym, that too would make a lot more sense. This whole thing reads like something we remember from elementary school.
You know cheating is wrong. You know you are not friends with this person, you don't need us to tell you that. Nothing we are going to say is going to make you more mature than you are and only you can change your behaviour. If you want to gain entry into a profession that is trusted by the public it is time to start behaving like someone deserving of trust. Cut off the stupid kid sitting next to you who wants to copy your answers. Move across the room. Ignore her when she speaks. Doesn't this sound like something your mother would be telling you?
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Update: She texted me back saying she doesn't know what I'm talking about and that she never cheated off me.
But I know she's lying. I have the text messages to prove her wanting me to cheat off me in the first place!
It doesn't matter what she says, it matters what you do. Put your big girl panties on & end the "friendship". Don't communicate with her any more, don't sit by her & just don't let her in your life. If you can't do that, I don't know what to tell you about your future as a nurse.
Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
Update: She texted me back saying she doesn't know what I'm talking about and that she never cheated off me.
I will reiterate the advice I previously gave: cut her off.
With 'friends' like this, who needs enemies? Cut off all contact with this classmate. It would also be in your best interest to block her number so you no longer receive her calls and texts. At times, the most powerful response is no response at all.
It is crystal clear she wants to use you for anything she can extract from you. Develop the courage to cut users, leeches and parasites out of your life now. Social boundaries are crucial to all aspects of life, including a nursing career.
I would stop playing games like this and just be polite but blunt: "I wish you the very best in your schooling but I prefer to work independently. It is very distracting for me to have to keep answering your questions during lecture time, so I am going to sit alone from now on. All the best".
Leave it at that. Don't get into accusations or "you did this". Come from the place of what YOU want and need. YOU need to sit alone, YOU find it distracting. End of story.
I'm proud of you for saying "no". It's difficult to say "no" to people especially when you consider someone a friend but you did the right thing as this "friend" was using you and taking advantage of your kindness and desire to help. I think you already knew this in your gut and that's why you came on to get support. Trust your instinct on what is right and wrong and people who are up to no good. Alas, you will find yourself in plenty of situations to have to say no so this is good practice.
I liked the suggestion about sitting in the front row as it makes it harder for the classmate to talk to you since the professor is right there. When someone asks you to explain something during lecture, you can always tell the person that you don't get the material either. You're just doing all you can to keep up with writing notes and you'll read the textbook after class and make sense of it then. If you find someone keeps asking you for help and it's taking time away from your studies, it's ok to say no. I had a classmate that was apparently helping 2 other students and they both passed but the helper failed. You gotta help yourself first. It's also ok to say no to study groups but be careful to still have good relationships with everyone as nursing is a small community. You can also say you haven't had time to prep for a study group yet so you wouldn't be able to contribute, you have plans/ a prior commitment, or that you're a night owl and study best at 2AM. You can say that you find the study groups always end up being a hang out session with very little studying or simply, you're used to studying alone. Don't forget that there are resources these students can try as well including going to see the professor during office hours, tutors, youtube and khan academy or simply reading the textbook!
I would also go as far as to save those text messages where your classmate asked to cheat off of you. It's sad but there's always a chance that this classmate will try and retaliate by saying you were the one trying to cheat! Don't tell her you kept her texts but just don't be surprised if the professor comes up to you one day and tells you someone accused you of cheating. You can confidently say, "That's not true. But if that accusation was made by so and so, she was the one whom asked to cheat off of me and I declined her and she is trying to get back at me. Here are her text messages to prove it." I know this sounds paranoid but I think it's smart to keep any text messages or emails to protect you. We call this "CYA". If you notice, your friend was doing some CYAing of her own when she replied "she doesn't know what I'm talking about and that she never cheated off me".
TheCommuter, BSN, RN
102 Articles; 27,612 Posts
You owe this classmate nothing. She is using you. Have the strength to cut her off.